There is no question about it. Going through a divorce is never an easy thing to do. Even the best of divorces have their fair share of problems and hurt feelings. And bad divorces, by definition, are that much worse. The pain, anger, confusion, depression and guilt all mix together to make you feel absolutely miserable. In fact, there are times it hurts so much that you wonder how you will even get through the day. But this isn't going to be an article about how to get your ex back after a divorce; it will be about how to keep the divorce from happening in the first place.
Look at it this way. Would you rather go through all the pain and hassle of a divorce, or would you rather put some effort into keeping it from happening? Most people would choose the latter. However, you need to be realistic about it and understand that if your marriage is in trouble then it's going to take some work to hold it together. It may not always be easy, but it can be done.
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself what kind of shape your marriage is in right now. Maybe it's not as bad as you think, or maybe it's worse. One way to tell is by watching for various signs. Any sudden, major changes in your partner's behaviour, good or bad, can indicate something else is going on. Now, it may not mean anything, but it is something you should be aware of. Another common sign of a marriage in trouble is a total loss of affection when there used to be plenty. This doesn't automatically mean your partner doesn't love you, but it definitely means something. The other major sign to watch out for is a change in the amount of physical contact you get from them. This includes both sexual and non-sexual contact.
Of course everybody goes through their ups and downs. Therefore, you need to pay attention to how severe these warning signs are, how long they last, and how often they happen. You know your partner well enough to tell if these signs mean anything or not. If you think there's a problem, then don't be in denial. You are trying to prevent a divorce, not live in a fantasy world.
Once you have determined that your marriage needs help, you have to open the lines of communication. In other words, you have to talk to your partner about it. Do your best to stay calm and supportive. Your partner isn't on trial; you are simply trying to find out what's going on. There is a fine line between being curious, and being meddlesome; make sure you don't cross it. You are only doing this because you love them, and want to be with them for a long, long time. Let them know that, and keep it in mind as the two of you are talking and things will go much better.
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