Did Your Wife Break Up With You? Being Dumped!

Have you just been dumped and are left wondering why did your wife break up with you?  Trust me you are not alone, in fact three quarters of marriages are ended by the woman.  So there are more guys that go through this 'being dumped' experience than women.

So if you have been dumped, what do you do now?  Men are often expected to get over these things much quicker than women.  It is thought that women are more emotional and will spend more time trying to mend their broken heart than what a man would.  But many men are quite sensitive and it is just as hurtful for them when a marriage ends, even if they don't show it all that much.

A marriage break up is just as painful for a man as it is for a woman; they just aren't expected to show those emotions.

Men are often stereotyped as being interested in any woman they meet and are happy to go from one fling to another and never be tied down.  The truth is that many men do actually place a lot of value on a stable marriage and are looking for the perfect woman to spend his life with.

So when you think you have found that perfect woman and then she dumps you, it can be difficult to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.

Men tend to keep their emotions to themselves and find it difficult to express what they are feeling. Men keep a lot of their feelings bottled up and this can be devastating long term.  Girls can often release their feelings and emotions by talking to a wife or writing in a diary, but men don't tend to do this as much.  Because men don't get their emotions out they can linger much longer and as a result they can take longer to get over a breakup.

You should get rid of all the memories of your ex from your home.  I'm sure you will have photos, clothes, cd's and other items that belong to her or remind you of her.  If you leave these around your house then you are constantly being reminded of her and that will make it harder to get over her.  So throw things away, give things back to her or even just store things away for now, just get rid of them so you aren't looking at them every day.

Although she might want to stay friends, being friends with her can make it harder to get over her.  If you are constantly seeing her, talking to her or texting her then it will be difficult to move on.  Perhaps friendship is an option later on, but when you first break up it is better to close off communications for a while so that you can learn to come to terms with the marriage ending.  You need to have space so that your heart can heal.

You might find that you don't really feel like going out with your friends and having fun, you probably just aren't in the mood.  But getting out with your friends and having fun is the best thing that you can do right now.  Having fun with your mates will take your mind of your break up and you will start enjoying life again.

Eventually you will be ready to get back into the dating scene again.  You don't need to rush back into it, in fact it is better to take your time and make sure that you are over your ex before getting involved with anyone else.  There is someone out there who is perfect for you and you will find her, it will just take a bit of time to get over your marriage and move on with your future.

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Obvious Mistakes and Avoiding Being a Dumped Boyfriend

Johnny is now in the position of being a dumped boyfriend but it is his own fault that he has just been dumped.  You see Johnny went out to a party one night with some friends but his girlfriend Frankie was busy that night and couldn’t go.  Johnny made the big mistake of drinking too much and then making out with some girl he didn’t even know.  Of course it didn’t take long for the news to get back to Frankie.

When Frankie found out that Johnny had been unfaithful, she called him up and among the crying, yelling and name calling, she told him she never wanted to see him again.

Johnny felt terrible and knew that what he did was wrong and wished he could go back in time and not let it happen.  On the other hand, he didn’t think that his one mistake was enough to end the relationship over.

Johnny decided the relationship was worth saving and started taking steps to win Frankie back.  But silly Johnny really didn’t know the best way to win back a broken heart and did it all wrong!

The first thing Johnny did wrong was when Frankie called him, instead of apologizing for his mistake he just grovelled and begged Frankie to take him back.  This is the wrong time for begging as Frankie is very angry and in no mood for grovelling and begging.

Then Johnny proceeded to aggressively pursue her and not give her time to deal with what happened.  Johnny sent Frankie over 100 texts during the next week and called her three or four times a day and often during the night.

After a week of persistently bugging Frankie, Johnny got really desperate and went to her house and sang love songs outside her bedroom window.  It wasn't long before the neighbours called the police.

Johnny realized that none of his tactics were working so decided to try something different.  He decided to try the jealousy tactic and proceeded to ask out one of Frankie's friends.

Frankie's friend agreed to go out on a date with Johnny and the news soon got back to Frankie, just as Johnny hoped it would.  Johnny thought that when Frankie heard he was dating her friend, that she would be jealous and beg him to come back to her.  But Frankie wasn't jealous; it had the opposite effect and made Frankie furious.  Frankie knew that Johnny was dating her friend to get back at her and she was also angry at her friend for dating her ex boyfriend.

So let's take a look at where Johnny went wrong and could have done things differently.

Well the first obvious mistake was when Johnny drank too much and made out with another girl.  Silly mistake that shouldn't have been made in the first place – mistake number one!  However, even with such a mistake a relationship can be saved if the right steps are taken.

Johnny grovelled and begged Frankie immediately and then proceeded to hound her with texts and phone calls.  He didn’t give her time to breath, he didn't give her space and at that point in time she needed some space to take in what had happened and decide whether she wanted to salvage the relationship or not.  Johnny, the dumped boyfriend, didn't give her the space she needed – that was mistake number two!

Johnny asked Frankie's friend out on a date to make her jealous.  Mistake number three!  Frankie isn't stupid and she knew what he was playing at and this just made her angry.

If Johnny had really wanted to salvage this relationship he should have apologized to Frankie for what he did and let her know that he still loves her and it was just one big mistake.  Then he should have given her some space to think about what had happened and his apology so she could then decide whether she would accept his apology or not.

Johnny should never have asked Frankie's friend out on a date.  Once he had given her some space, if he didn't hear back from her after a week or so he could have called her and asked her out to dinner so they could talk.  If Frankie had decided that she didn’t want him back then he would have to accept that, but if Johnny had been more sincere and caring of her needs, then she may have considered reconciling with him.

Frankie decided not to take Johnny back after his mistake and the way he acted afterward.  If Johnny hadn't acted like such an oaf afterwards, Frankie might have forgiven him for his mistake.  Johnny made the big dumped boyfriend mistake by not acting in the correct manner to fix his mistake. If you make a mistake, don't make things worse; think about what you are going to do before you start harassing you're ex girlfriend and driving her even further away.

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How To Cope With A Husband Leaving

When you break up with your husband it can be a very difficult time and you will surely spend a lot of time wondering what went wrong and if there is anything you can do to get him back.  Here is some advice on how to cope with a husband leaving.

The first thing you need to do is determine whether the marriage is well and truly over.  You won't be able to move on with your life until you can honestly say to yourself that he is no longer a part of your life anymore, just an experience from the past.  When you accept this then you can begin to move on.

If you think your marriage still has a chance, then you might want to start out as being 'friends' again and hopefully lead that friendship back into a marriage.  But if your marriage is truly over then you need to work toward accepting your life as it now is and put your ex husband in the past.

To move on with your life you need closure to recognize that the marriage is over and your new life is beginning.  When you get closure then you can begin the healing process. Here are some steps that you can take to find closure on your marriage.

1. Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside. Find someone that you can talk to and share your feelings with so that you can get them out in the open.  It is harder to move on if you keep your feelings bottled up. 

If you have a close friend or family member that you can talk to who can help you through this difficult time, then call on them for help.  A true friend will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear.

If you don't feel that you can talk to friends or family you can see a therapist who can help you work through your feelings and at the same time it is with someone that isn’t close to you in your usual daily life.

If you don't want to visit a therapist or talk to family or friends, then why not write down your feelings in a journal. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you to understand them better and help to get them out so you aren't keeping your feelings bottled up.

2. The next step to moving on and finding closure is to get rid of any reminders of your ex husband.  I'm sure you will have many things that were given to you as a gift from him, or things that you bought together on a shopping trip, anything that has a significant memory of your marriage needs to go. There might be things that you don't want to throw away and you can perhaps give these back to him, or if they are gifts that you really want to keep then store them away for now where you can't see them.  You don't want to be seeing things on a daily basis that will just remind you of your past marriage.

3. Begin your new life by finding something new to do with your life. If you sit around at home on your own you will just keep thinking about your ex husband. It is best to keep busy and find something to do that will take your mind off the past. 

If there are things that you wanted to do but your husband was never keen on, then this is the time to make the most of your freedom and do whatever you want. Do things that will make you happy and that are fun. You can join a gym, start taking a class to further your education, or do some volunteer work. There are many things that you can do to get you out of the house and keep your mind off your past.

When you are keeping busy and doing things that you enjoy you will begin to think less and less about your ex husband and start enjoying life for yourself. 

When you can reach the stage that you find you are not thinking about your ex husband anymore then you can move on and begin the next stage of your life.  There is someone out there for you and now that you don't have your ex holding you back, you are free to move on and meet Mr. Right. 

You might not find Mr. Right straight away, these things happen when they are meant to happen.  Just enjoy your life and have as much fun as you can and when you do find someone special those old feelings for Mr. Wrong will be long gone.

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A Marriage Therapist Can Help Save Your Marriage

If you are thinking that your marriage is in trouble and it’s time for a divorce, perhaps a marriage therapist can help.  There are many marriage therapists who specialize in just that – helping people like you to save their marriage.  But how do you know if a marriage therapist is a good one?  Here are a few tips to keep in mind when looking for a family therapist or marriage therapist.

1. The first thing you need to look at is the credentials of the therapist.  There are three different classes of therapists:

·         The first type is a PhD or PsyD level therapist.  These therapists have spent at least five years at graduate school and have performed a minimum of 3,000 hours of therapy while being supervised by an experienced psychologist.  A person will need to have a doctoral level degree to be qualified legally as a ‘clinical psychologist’.  A therapist with a PhD is often more academic and will often do forensic and scholarly work as well as therapy.

·         Next there is M.S.W which is a Master of Social Work.  Social workers can work with individuals or in institutions and are trained to apply social theory to different situations.

·         Lastly, there is the M.A. or M.S. in counselling.  There are often known as Marriage and Family Therapists.  This type of therapist can only work in small group counselling situations or with individuals.  They will have undergone two years of study and earned a degree and will have worked a minimum of 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

A Marriage and Family Therapist (M.A. or M.S.) and Social Workers (M.S.W.) are the least expensive options for therapy and if you are claiming your marriage counselling on insurance then you will probably be directed to one of these.

2. Once you know what type of therapist you will see, you then need to find out what prices they charge.  Marriage and Family Therapists tend to be the least expensive, while Clinical Psychologists are the most expensive.  If you really want to save your marriage the cheapest option might not always be the best.  When looking at costs, don’t just look at the cost per session but also the expected length of treatment as this can make a big difference to the overall cost.

3. Next, you will want to look at each therapist policies.  You need to consider the following:

·         How much do you need to pay if you miss a session?

·         If you take a vacation will you still be charged for the session for that week?

·         Does your therapist accept calls at home or only at the office?  Do they accept calls outside of your normal session times?

·         Is there another person that you can talk to in an emergency?

A good family therapist will have one goal in mind - to help you save your marriage.  If you are seeing a therapist and you don’t feel that they are dedicated to helping you save your marriage then you should move on and find someone else.  There are many good therapists or therapists out there that can help you save your marriage from divorce, so don’t settle for divorce before giving therapy a try. There are no guarantees that you will find love again with someone else.

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Would You Like Free Marriage Counselling?

Marriage doesn't seem to carry as much weight as it did many years ago but there are still many people and religions that view marriage as a sacred institution. Marriage is the foundation of a family and without a solid foundation a family can soon fall apart.

The world has changed over the years and as such there seems to be so much more pressure financially which can take its toll on a marriage.  There also seems to be more difficulties with children behaviour problems these days, whether this is due to the changing roles of men and women or due to the increasing number of additives and preservatives in the foods that they eat, regardless of the cause, the behaviour problems can put an incredible strain on the relationship between the parents.

These are just a couple of reasons that a marriage can begin to fail, there are many more.  If you feel that your marriage could be on the rocks what can you do to help get it back on track?

Church is one institution that values marriage very highly and as such can be a great place to get help if your marriage is in trouble.  You can visit a psychologist or a family therapist for marriage counselling and these can help, but they tend to take a more individualistic approach to marriage counselling.  A church pastor will take a holistic approach to making a marriage work and this approach can have a much better chance of saving a marriage.

Is a pastoral counsellor really any better than a secular therapist?

The problem with a secular therapist is that they have been taught to treat individual psychopathologies.  Even counsellors that specialize in marriage and family counselling don't often have many classes that deal specifically with couple's therapy.  The 'individual' approach is not the approach needed to save a marriage that is a union of two people.

On the other hand, a pastoral counsellor is taught to counsel couples as couples to help bring them closer together and repair any problems that have arisen in their marriage.  The church believes that marriage is forever and when a couple has taken those marriage vows, a pastoral counsellor will be dedicated to help save that marriage if the couple seeks their help.

There are some pastors that have formal education in counselling as many churches now offer pastoral counselling degrees.  There are also many ministers who do not have a formal degree but still have taken seminars and classes on the subject.

If you are not currently a member of any church then it can be a little more difficult finding a pastoral counsellor to help save your marriage.  If you’re marriage is struggling then you won’t want to wait six months to establish a membership in a church before you can approach a pastor for counselling.

If you find yourself in this situation and do not have a membership at any church, you can perhaps call some of the churches in your area and enquire about couple retreats where they may hold weekend seminars targeted to saving marriages.  If you attend a seminar like this you can then build up a relationship with the pastor and can then possibly follow up with that pastor for some marriage counselling.

Often the biggest problem with many relationships is a lack of communication and these couple’s retreats can help you work on your communication skills within your marriage.  If you can improve your communication then you might find that many areas of your relationship will also improve.

Marriage isn’t easy and is something that often needs to be worked at.  If your marriage is having difficulties and you feel like it is falling apart, then you need to take a long look at your relationship and find the good in it and find the reasons why it is worth saving.  If you need some help then visit a pastoral counsellor for some free marriage counselling as he may be able to help you get your marriage back on track.

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Depression and Marriages

Being depressed is an awful thing to go through. Being in a marriage where one of the people is depressed is also difficult. Whether you are the one struggling with depression, or you are the one trying to care for the depressed person doesn't matter, it's still a hard thing to deal with. Here are some things you should know about depression and marriages.

There are different forms of depression, ranging from the mild to the severe. If the depression is mild, then the depressed spouse may avoid taking part in certain activities, or may seem somewhat withdrawn. In severe cases, they may shut themselves off from the world completely and become suicidal. However, you have to be alert because mild depression can become severe very quickly.

Furthermore, depression is a serious medical condition. If family and friends find out somebody is depressed, they are likely to tell the person to cheer up, or that it's all in their head. Though they have good intentions, this is one of the worst things they can say. For one thing the person with depression already feels bad enough, and such comments make it sound like they're being depressed on purpose. The other downside of such comments is that can keep somebody from seeking the medical attention they need.

If you are the spouse caring for somebody with depression, then it's up to you to help them in any way you can. If they have mild depression, then encouragement at the right time may be all you need. On the other hand, if it's really bad, you may have to keep an eye on them constantly or be ready to take them to the emergency room if the situation warrants it.

Depression can be treated in most cases. However, it can also be a lifelong problem. Taking care of a depressed person has its ups and downs (so to speak), but there is somebody else you need to care of, and that person is you. Dealing with depression can take a lot out of anybody. Don't neglect taking care of yourself as well. A lot of people find comfort in support groups, so see if there is one in your area.

There is a myth that love alone can conquer depression, that being in a marriage should be enough to get the person to "snap out of it". While this may be true to some extent in mild cases; this is one case where love does not conquer all. At the same time, it's important to know that just because your spouse is depressed, doesn't mean they don't really love you. They are going through a tough time and may not feel anything at all, but once they are better, their real feelings will return.

To sum up, depression and marriage is a serious matter, and should be treated as such. Don't fall for the many myths surrounding depression and seek help from a qualified professional as soon as you can; especially in cases that are more than mild. The sooner it's treated, the sooner things can return to normal.

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How to Get Your Ex Back Free Advice

If you are reading this then it's a safe assumption that you have gone through a break up in the not too distant past. No matter how well the break up went, it is never an enjoyable experience. However, over time, you start to recognize that you miss them more than you thought you would and now you are at a point where you want to know how to get your ex back. To put it another way, you aren't ready to give up and would like to have a second chance.

The first thing you need to keep in mind is that if you two were ever in love with each other, then the chance to make things right is there. That doesn't mean you can hop into a time machine and start over from the beginning. However you can both decide to learn from the past and do your best to make it work again. Notice, though, that it won't work if you try to do it by yourself. After all, every relationship is made up of more than one person.

Now, there may have been a time when you were in love, but if you want to learn how to get your ex back then you have to understand the things that caused that love to fade away. The key here is to be honest with your ex and with yourself. You must know exactly what the problems were before you can fix them. Fixing problems that didn't exist is a waste of time, and not fixing the real problems will only cause them to come up again.

Not all problems are created equally. There are always those little things that seem to drive us nuts. So, you need to be able to prevent them from happening again, or learn to live with them. While we think it's the little things that drive us crazy, that's not entirely true. In reality, our dislike for the little things is nothing more than a way to express how we feel about the bigger issues. Either way, this is a good illustration of why you must be honest about the things that really went wrong when you were together before.

How to get your ex back also requires both of you to communicate better. It's amazing how many relationships come to an end simply because the couple couldn't talk to each other effectively. Take the time to listen, be honest, and treat each other with respect. Doing those three things will add up to a world of difference.

How to get your ex back... it’s not impossible, but only if you are willing to do the right things. Remember, it takes commitment and it won't always be easy. That being said, if you really want to get back together and rekindle the love that used to be there, then it can be done. It won't be easy, but it is possible, and it is well worth the effort if it means you will have a happy future together.

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