There are probably thousands of places online and off where you can get marriage advice. Some of the sources will make a lot of sense and resonate with you... others, not so much. Sometimes it's best to go to the one place you know that will give you the best advice, your own heart and soul, as long as you don't ignore the stuff you don't want to face.
I've often said that we all know what the issues are in our marriage. We just don't want to face them so we push those unpleasant truths so far down that they just don't seem real anymore.
We convince ourselves that we were wrong and the reason our marriage is bad isn't because our husband is a nasty drunk. We tell ourselves the real problem is that he has a bad leg and is in a lot of pain, or that he's under a lot of stress at work, etc. In other words, we lie to ourselves.
The best marriage advice I can give you is to be brutally honest with yourself. Stop lying to yourself and face the truth. I tell that to my sister all the time. The fella I described above is her husband. She calls me at least once a week complaining about some nasty thing he has said or done. It gets old.
I've told her that she has two choices: she can kick his useless ass to the curb or she can shut up and accept him for what he is (which isn't much!). Sorry to sound so harsh, but that's really all there is in many cases.
Now, true, sometimes good people and good marriages just run into trouble. But in my experience with my friends I have to say that to me it looks more like they've just picked the wrong person for the wrong reason and don't want to face it.
Sometimes therapy can help. It's going to depend on how committed each of you is to working things out. It's very likely that you are both going to hear things about yourself that you may not want to hear, if you're not totally committed to the process you'll shut down once that happens.
In a lot of cases though, you really need to face the cold hard truth that you may not be with the right person. On the surface that may sound like a tragedy but I have to ask you, do you know what it's like to be in a marriage that is loving and kind? To really be with someone who you like and trust completely? It's sad but I know a lot of people don't honestly know what that's like.
If you don't know what that's like you are doing yourself a big disservice clinging to a bad marriage. You might just be able to find real happiness, I know I did and it wasn't with my ex. That is the best marriage advice I've got!
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