Getting Rid Of the Other Woman - Simple and Clean

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and some are worse than others. One of the worst mistakes you can make, and the one that does an unimaginable amount of harm, is that of infidelity. When you cheat on someone whether it's your wife or your girlfriend, you are proving to everyone involved that you are selfish and childish. The only way to make things right is to end the relationship and give 100% to your wife or girlfriend, the one who you promised you would be faithful to.  The problem is, the other woman might genuinely care for you and you will hurt her too, so be careful how you go about getting rid of the other woman.

The first thing you have to do is talk to her.  If you've been lying to her and she didn't even know you were married or in another relationship, you've really screwed up.  You will most likely cause her a lot of pain but you have to break the cycle of lying and cheating. Just be as gentle as possible, but let her know in no uncertain terms that it's over and you don't want to see her again.

If your lover knows that you're married or in another relationship, ending things with her will be a little easier, hopefully.  At least you haven't lied to her too.  Just make a clean break.

You have to make sure and make a total break from the other woman that means no phone calls, racy texts, or fantasies. If you want your marriage or your relationship with your girlfriend to work you have to give her 100% fidelity and that means even in your mind.  Fantasizing is fine as long as your fantasies revolve around a movie star or a person you don't know, if you're still fantasizing about your mistress than you haven't totally ended the relationship. 

Make sure you get rid of her phone number, delete her email address and all emails the two of you have exchanged.  If you've been given any presents or mementos, get rid of them too.  You have to make a fresh start and you can't do that if you're still holding on to your mistress, even in small ways.

If the other woman was someone you met at work, you will see her on a daily basis so it will become even more necessary that you let her know everything is over. Don't lead her on just to stroke your own ego.  Tell her it's over and follow up the words with clear actions, if the two of you used to hang out during your lunch hour, try to take your lunch at a different time or don't go to the same places where you used to meet her.  Alter your routine so that you can avoid her as much as possible that way you'll be letting her know by your actions as well as your words that it truly is over for good.

The other woman is often demonised in our society and if a woman knowingly goes out with a married man she has some moral issues she needs to deal with, but the bottom line is that you are the one who made the commitment to your wife or girlfriend, and you are the one who broke it.  It's your responsibility to make things right and the first step to do that is by getting rid of the other woman and makes a total commitment to your wife.

Look for Warning Signs of a Breakup

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don't stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way, that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don't let this affect your self-esteem. It isn't you, it's them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don't take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn't your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don't let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

Change the Story - Advice for a Broken Heart

When it seems like your story book romance has had an unhappy ending and the one you love has left, you may need some advice for a broken heart. You may not feel like it will ever heal and that the grief you feel is unbearable but be sure that this is something that will go away. Healing a broken heart can take time and effort on your part, but there are some things that can be done and you can do it turning this sad story of loss and failure into a success story. Here are some advice that will help that happen.

Give yourself a chance to mourn or be angry. You need a chance to feel the pain of losing the one you love. There is nothing at all wrong with allowing yourself a chance to feel this way. It is part of the way we are built. We are made with emotions that are helpful and by holding them back or ignoring them; you are only doing yourself harm and missing out on the human experience. The thing that you have to do is to limit that time. You can't spend your life feeling that way, you will have to move on. Give yourself permission to feel this way for a few days, a week, or maybe a little longer and then get about the business of living.

Let go. If there are some things that you need to forgive yourself for, then do it. Don't let it hang over your head. If there are some unresolved issues from the past relationship, then you need to address them. If there is an issue of forgiving the one that left, then go ahead and do it. Don't wait for them to come asking for it because it won't happen. Just let go of it. You can't embrace tomorrow if you are too busy holding yesterday.

Don't go back. There is no benefit to living in the past. You have today and tomorrow and that is all that matters. If you spend your time dwelling on yesterday you very well could be missing out on opportunities that will make your future much brighter than you ever could have imagined. Today has plenty to offer you. Take advantage of it. Spend each day looking for the good things and let the past stay behind you.

Take this as an opportunity to improve something about yourself. Use this as a learning experience. Don't let it be a negative lesson, though. Try to find a positive thing that you can learn. What would you do differently or better if you had it to do all over again? What are some things you wish you had done better? If you had it to do all over again, what would you do differently? What would have made that relationship better? So often we come out of relationships feeling depressed and having taken a hit to our self-esteem. Do things that will help improve self-esteem. Make yourself better.

A break up is the end of a story in a way, but it is better considered the end of a chapter, not the book. The best advice there is for a broken heart is to take the broken and hurting pieces of your life and concentrate on making the rest of your life's story a success and give this tragedy a happy ending.