What are the best steps to take for saving a marriage? It just depends on what the problems are and how hard both of you are willing to work to make things better. There are no easy answers or quick fixes. Nothing worth having ever came easy!
One of the first things you need to ask yourself and one of the hardest things to answer honestly, is whether or not your spouse really wants to be in this marriage (or at least wants to be in it badly enough to be willing to make some changes). You can’t do this alone and to stand any chance of success you need to work together. That may sound odd, but a lot of marriage problems start because of unrealistic expectations. It's very common that both people in the marriage won't be on the same page. One person will actually care a whole lot more about keeping things together than their spouse.
As long as the one who cares the most is willing to turn a blind eye to the indifference of their spouse and carry more than their fair share of the weight in a marriage, things might go along pretty smoothly. But sooner or later the one who is doing all the work will start to make demands on their spouse and resent the lack of help they are getting. In a lot of cases this is the point where the marriage really starts to suffer (not that it was really healthy to begin with but if one spouse is getting their own way all the time at least they are happy and don't tend to rock the boat as much).
It's very important to honestly assess whether or not this is the scenario in your marriage. If it is, you might be better off just leaving and finding a true lover, otherwise you will have to do all the work and that will get annoying eventually. If you and your spouse are both grownups and able to communicate and are both willing to carry your fair share of the weight in the marriage, than you have a chance at making things work out. This is what it will take to save your marriage.
One person cannot do it all on their own, it takes a partnership. Even with a partnership you may still want to find someone to help you both learn how to establish a different and better dynamic in your marriage. You can opt to go to a therapist, you can find a lot of self help information online and off, or you can just sort it out yourselves. It's up to you but as long as you are both willing to put in the time and work you can make your marriage the type that you really want.
Whenever you have two people in a marriage who are really willing to try to make changes and work together to make things better, you will almost always find that saving a marriage is possible and even likely. This is the secret: both of you have to want it and be willing to work for it.
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