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Saturday, 1 January 2011

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship?

Anytime there are cheaters involved in relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of “Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?” there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Thursday, 30 December 2010

Free Advice on How to Get Your Ex Back


Are you looking for free advice on how to get your ex back? Well, you're in luck because you can definitely find a lot of it out there on the internet. Almost everyone has gone through a damaged relationship at one point or another and many are eager to share what they did to cope or win back their loved ones. Strategies differ from one person to the next and what works for someone else may not work for you. But there are some common factors that many experts agree on.

First of all, when you have broken up, you need to stay broken up for a while. This means as little contact as possible and of course, no begging, pleading and promising to make things better. Take some time off. It is what both of you need. If you do have to see each other because of unavoidable circumstances such as work or the kids, be friendly but do not get involved in any conversations that stray towards your past relationship.

Next, take this time off to focus on yourself. Stop thinking about your ex and how to win them back. Instead, think about how you can improve yourself both inside and out. If you've let yourself slide because of the relationship stresses, this is the time to put yourself back together. Make sure you are eating right and not drinking too much alcohol or abusing any other substances. You definitely want to be taking time out to exercise. Now that you are single, you have that time. Get involved in certain groups or volunteer programs. And make sure that you get out of the house with some friends every once in a while, even if you don't feel like it. Finally, getting enough sleep is crucial to your health. People who get enough sleep don’t tend to eat more and be overweight and look older.

What is the purpose of this type of free advice on how to get your ex back? It is all geared towards getting yourself back first. Chances are you've lost a little bit of that during your relationship struggles. Once you've re-established your self confidence and self esteem, you will be ready to once again approach your ex with the intention of getting back together. How long does it take? This also varies but generally you can tell when you're ready because getting him/her back will suddenly not seem so extremely urgent.

Then and only then should you try to make contact with your ex. Invite him or her for coffee or something that doesn't require too much time or commitment on either side. From here on is where the free advice on how to get your ex back will start to vary again. But once you've gotten to this point, you may be able to rely on your own heart and new-found confidence to guide you through.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

How to Get Your Ex Wife Back With Self-belief

"How to get your ex wife back?" Do you find yourself asking yourself this same question over and over again? You're not alone. Thousands of people are going through divorce every day and asking themselves the same thing. The good news is that you can get back with your ex wife if you have just one key ingredient.

There really is only one thing that you need in order to bring your ex wife back to you and that is self-belief. Chances are that if you're at the point of asking yourself "How to get your ex wife back?" then you are pretty low in the self-belief ranking scale at the moment. As you go through marital problems and fear the loss of your wife, your self-belief can really take a nose dive, even if you used to be someone who was really sure of yourself.

Your self-belief helps you in many ways. It can help you get hired. It can attract someone to you (if you're not over-confident) and it definitely can help you get your ex wife back. Self-belief will help you in all walks of life and having it will keep your marriage healthy once you are back in your wife’s arms.

If you lack self-belief, you have low self-esteem which is why you are wondering if you can really get your wife back or not. A confident person would realize that he can. Your low self-esteem will tell you that you are not good enough or that your wife can easily find someone better. Once you have this in your head, you either give up or you start doing desperate things to try to get your wife back which, of course, only makes things worse. What usually happens in this case is that your ex will start to feel sorry for you. It is difficult at that stage to change her notion of you. But you can do it.

Rather than sulking and plotting how you are going to win back your wife, start concentrating on yourself. You need a spiritual make-over. Make sure you are eating right, exercising and spending time with friends. Get out even if you don't feel like it. Fake it 'til you make it and do not contact your ex. This is your time to get your self-esteem back.

Pretty soon, you'll see that you are no longer faking it. You'll enjoy your time on your own and your time out with friends. You'll start to feel better about yourself and you'll be more attractive to others, including your ex wife. At this point you may actually question whether you really want her back. But if you do, you will be able to confidently approach her, speak about your marriage and work on bringing it back to life.

So, the answer to "How to get your ex wife back?" is "Self-belief"!