How to Save Your Relationship - Are You A Couple?

If you really want to know how to save your relationship, you need to figure out what the heck being in a couple is all about. Being a couple is not about remaining independent and doing things only for you. It is about sharing everything in your life with that one special person you chose to spend your life with.

Too often people get together and then immediately start to think they are in trouble or feel trapped and do not know how to handle these feelings. Then they start to feel guilty because they are having these feelings and mistakenly assume that when you get together you should automatically know how to be together.

If you think about it that is just the silliest thing you could do. Question: Did you know how to ride that bike before someone taught you? How about walking and talking? You had to learn that too right? So, what makes you think that you know how to be together? Who taught you how?

Oh sure, your parents can be a role model for you but if their relationship wasn't good and they didn't know how to be together, what have they taught you? Not much of anything except how to do it all wrong.

If this is the case then learning how to save your relationship is of utmost importance. Where do you start? Start by talking to each other. Remember when you first met? You used to talk about anything and everything. What happened? What changed? The only thing that changed is the fact that the two of you got together.

Why should this be a problem? You love each other right? Well, of course you do. That is never the problem. The problem is the high standards you or your partner has that neither one of you can live up to. Relationship is all about making compromises and learning to become a partnership.

The best way to become a partnership is to talk things out all the time. Do not make the mistake of assuming you know what your partner is thinking or how they will react in any given situation. Ask them. Never take them or how they feel for granted. This will only cause more problems.

If you have just recently been married and you have encountered these problems already or you have been married for several years and are old hats at these problems, you can still help yourselves and make things right. Make a commitment to each other that you both will try harder to communicate better.

I know sometimes I forget that my partner is a human being and has thoughts and feelings and perceptions of their own and that I am not the only person in the relationship. I also know that we do communicate effectively most of the time but when one of us decides we know best that makes it difficult to make decisions together especially if the one who thinks they know the best will not listen to reason.

If you love each other but do not like each other much these days, you need to start nurturing your relationship and treating each other with respect. You need to get back to the point where your relationship comes first and the two of you feel connected. Clearing up any misunderstandings and hurt feelings is good advice on how to save your relationship.

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Saving a Marriage - Tactics That Make It Happen!

What are the best ways of saving a marriage? Well, that kind of depends on what the problems in the marriage are. Are the problems major or minor? Are you working together with your spouse, or all on your own?  These are questions that need to be answered before you can figure out the best tactics to fix your marriage.

The more willing and able you and your spouse are about working together to fix the problems, the higher the likelihood you'll be successful. It's not easy, actually it's virtually impossible, to be the only one who is working on fixing the troubles in your marriage. If  both of you are mature enough to make whatever changes need to be made, than you'll be able to not only fix your marriage, you'll be much better people in all aspects of your life. 

First things first, you can't fix a problem until you locate the problem. What are the major issues in your marriage? This may seem like an easy thing to answer, but it's not. In reality it's tough to cut through all the garbage and baggage that has accumulated over the years and pinpoint the real issues. Sometimes the real problems are buried so far under the inconsequential things that they're hard to recognize.

This step alone can take some time. It may help if the two of you find someone who you both trust to help you work things out. Many people are very intimidated by going to a therapist. I think it's because they are a little afraid of what they might hear. They don't want the therapist to think of them as a bad person, so they just don't go at all.

That's the wrong attitude to have. Do you want to be right or do you want help

Saving a marriage? You decide.  You're not perfect, no one is. The therapist might help you identify some of your less desirable character traits. And, no, this may not be fun to hear, but isn't it worth it in the long run to become a better person and a better spouse? Don't you want to find the happiness in not only this marriage but in your life in general? Sometimes it will take some honest soul searching to get there. It's worth it.

Start with you. Your spouse probably has some issues they need to deal with too, but you can only change you. Hopefully they will be amenable to making some changes of their own, especially when they see you moving forward in your life, but you can't force them. All you can do is to make the changes you need to make and hope for the best.  Don't get distracted by the foibles of your spouse and use them as an excuse to not make any changes. Focus on you for now and hopefully your spouse will make the changes they need to make.

Saving a marriage can be possible, but it really needs to be a team effort. If both of you aren't on the same page the battle will be a lot tougher to win.

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Free Marriage Advice - Can You Depend On Family and Friends?

Where do you turn when you need free marriage advice? Well, there are several options available to you. You can do some research on the internet to find what you need to know or you can read a book. If you do not find what you need there, you can find someone to talk to. There are therapists out there who focus on marriages and the problems that can go along with them.

Usually though, before any of the above takes place people who find their marriage failing... get free marriage advice from friends and family. As misguided as this may be it is a step taken by a lot of people. When things start to go bad you tend to look to anyone and everyone for help and people you trust top that list.

Take the advice you get from friends and family with a grain of salt though, every situation is different and your situation is no exception. Advice you get from friends and family may not work for your situation and could confuse things even further.

More than free marriage advice, what you need at a time like this is straight forward, sound advice to help you figure out a bad situation. Trust your instincts when it comes to the advice you find on the internet and in books, too. If it doesn't sound good do not try to use it to fix things between you and your spouse.

So, what is the biggest reason why people have problems in their marriage, lack of communication or lack of effective communication techniques? People just do not know how to talk to each other. Good communication techniques can be learned and if you want to save your marriage you should do whatever it takes to learn them.

Do not make fixing your marriage harder than it has to be. No one is born knowing how to be a good communicator. There are classes you can take at your local community college or you can go see that therapist and they can help you learn what to say and how to say it so your spouse will listen and engage in the conversation.

When you learn to communicate effectively you can handle anything that comes up in your life including fixing your marriage. When there is no communication, something that started out to be a small misunderstanding could easily be blown out of proportion and become the thing that destroys a once good marriage.

It is so easy to fall into a dynamic that is unhealthy in your marriage due to ineffective communication. Once the dynamic changes in your marriage it is not so easy to change it back and your marriage may never be the same even if you do learn the right things to do.

If the damage has been done and you are looking for free marriage advice... remember to trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your spouse, it will be worth it in the long run.

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