What are the best ways of saving a marriage? Well, that kind of depends on what the problems in the marriage are. Are the problems major or minor? Are you working together with your spouse, or all on your own? These are questions that need to be answered before you can figure out the best tactics to fix your marriage.
The more willing and able you and your spouse are about working together to fix the problems, the higher the likelihood you'll be successful. It's not easy, actually it's virtually impossible, to be the only one who is working on fixing the troubles in your marriage. If both of you are mature enough to make whatever changes need to be made, than you'll be able to not only fix your marriage, you'll be much better people in all aspects of your life.
First things first, you can't fix a problem until you locate the problem. What are the major issues in your marriage? This may seem like an easy thing to answer, but it's not. In reality it's tough to cut through all the garbage and baggage that has accumulated over the years and pinpoint the real issues. Sometimes the real problems are buried so far under the inconsequential things that they're hard to recognize.
This step alone can take some time. It may help if the two of you find someone who you both trust to help you work things out. Many people are very intimidated by going to a therapist. I think it's because they are a little afraid of what they might hear. They don't want the therapist to think of them as a bad person, so they just don't go at all.
That's the wrong attitude to have. Do you want to be right or do you want help
Saving a marriage? You decide. You're not perfect, no one is. The therapist might help you identify some of your less desirable character traits. And, no, this may not be fun to hear, but isn't it worth it in the long run to become a better person and a better spouse? Don't you want to find the happiness in not only this marriage but in your life in general? Sometimes it will take some honest soul searching to get there. It's worth it.
Start with you. Your spouse probably has some issues they need to deal with too, but you can only change you. Hopefully they will be amenable to making some changes of their own, especially when they see you moving forward in your life, but you can't force them. All you can do is to make the changes you need to make and hope for the best. Don't get distracted by the foibles of your spouse and use them as an excuse to not make any changes. Focus on you for now and hopefully your spouse will make the changes they need to make.
Saving a marriage can be possible, but it really needs to be a team effort. If both of you aren't on the same page the battle will be a lot tougher to win.
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