When the reality hits and you find yourself saying ‘I lost the love of my life’ it can hit you like a ton of bricks. I know when you come to that understanding it can feel like life simply is not worth living anymore and it may seem like you will never feel happiness again. I think most of us have been at that point before.
Don't give up though, no matter how impossible it may seem that you will be happy again, you can be. I am not saying that it will be easy or that you won't go through a lot of pain... you will. I am just saying that you can find love and happiness again and the better you deal with your breakup the faster you may recover from it.
I have been writing relationship columns for many years and I have been through the ‘I lost the love of my life’ thing before myself, so I may be able to offer you a little advice. Here are some ideas I have used myself to help me get over my pain as quickly as possible. Some of my ideas may just help, nothing ventured nothing gained right?
1. Give yourself as much time as you need. I remember that once I heard someone say that you should allow yourself to grieve over your lost love for one week for every year the two of you were together. Personally, I think that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
There is no formula for determining how long it will take you to feel like you have moved on and can be happy again. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. For the most part, it will take as long as it takes.
I do have to say one thing though, if you find that you simply don't seem to be bouncing back even a little bit after several months, you may be suffering from depression and you may need a little extra help to get back to your old self. If that is the case, find a therapist who can help you out, you don't need to suffer unnecessarily.
2. While you are healing, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy the things that made you feel good before (as long as they are positive things). If you used to enjoy hanging out with your friends, than hang out with your friends.
If you used to enjoy working out then workout. Just spend your time and energy engaging in positive things that make you feel good about yourself and life in general. If you forget about your pain for a little while than that is just a bonus.
3. If you have been planning on doing something such as take a class or go on vacation, do it now. It may be just the thing you need to keep your mind active. While it will take you as long as it takes you to move on, there is no one to say that you have to stay inside your home dwelling on your pain the whole time.
Most of us will experience the ‘I lost the love of my life’ thing at some point in our lives. It is a rotten thing to go through, but how we handle it can help determine how soon we will be able to move on and find love again. What defines us as people is our character which is measured by how we deal with adversity. Anyone can deal with happiness but pain and heartbreak and how we deal with it is what makes us unique. Basically, human nature being what it is, the more character you have the more interesting you are. Be strong, take control and rise above the issues in your life. Good luck!
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