How Do I Save My Marriage and Make It Exciting Again

If you are wondering ‘how do I save my marriage and make it exciting again', it's probably because you feel that it's on the verge of collapse or you're afraid you might be losing your spouses love. Most people like their lovers to be strong and reliable as we tend to lean on one another when outside situations don't go our way or when life becomes challenging.

If you appear weak and dependent you won't be of much use to your other half when they need support and reassuring. Sometimes we don't realise that we are the rock for our partner to lean on in times of trouble. If you are a push over, you appear weak and your marriage is only going to end due to lack of respect and your lack of desirability. Weakness is never an attractive trait.

Do you let your spouse organise your world? If your partner tends to organise meals and nights out, why don't you take control of this sometimes. Don't let your partner do everything for you. Make sure you have some input in the way you spend your leisure time. It's true what they say ‘a couple that plays together, stays together'. How couples spend their leisure time is vital to most relationships and usually the answer to the ‘how do I save my marriage?' question.

If you are the one that does all the organising… let your spouse make some decisions or they will get in a rut and just end up feeling useless. This lowers their self esteem and confidence. This is a classic control freak scenario… take control of everything so the other person forgets how to fend for themselves. So that when they have to think independently they don't have the confidence or drive to make a decision. If you control everything all the time, you create a dull and unattractive lover that will probably end up leaving you for someone that lets them make decisions and consequently makes them feel good about themselves.

Life and especially relationships are about balance and chemistry. If you keep the balance you keep the chemistry. There has to be mutual love and respect. You can't have this without the balance that an equal partnership can bring. Love isn't about doing everything for your lover but it's about helping one another develop and supporting one another when we need it most. You must let your spouse know you care about them everyday, but be strong and also let them know you are an individual within the relationship and you have your own likes and dislikes and your own opinions and preferences.

Love, honour and obey… my ass! This is the 21st Century… If you lose your partners respect you will lose your partner. If your spouse wants subservience give them the number of a maid service and go out with your mates. Be strong and get organised and show your spouse that they are the most important thing to you but… you are an individual and capable of making decisions and being the rock they sometimes need. The answer to ‘how do I save my marriage?' is get help if you need to but keep your self-respect and a little independence and you will surely keep your marriage exciting and alive. If you think about it, you both fell in love with independent people and you just need to be that person again.