Navigating the 5 Emotional Stages of a Relationship Breakup

The following emotional stages of a relationship breakup are only guidelines to help you navigate through a difficult time to a happier ending. What's important to understand is that even though they are uncomfortable, each of the following feelings are quite normal.

What follows are often referred to as the "five emotional stages of grief". Each of the concepts applies just as easily to a relationship breakup. The major difference is that some of the stages can happen while the relationship is still in tact.

The first stage is denial. There are plenty of stories about spouses and significant others who justified the odd behaviour of an ex before a breakup.

"Oh, he probably got lipstick on his collar when he accidentally bumped into someone."

"She didn't call to tell me she was going to be late because she was too busy with work."

Those are two rather blatant examples that may not apply, but how about this one? "We don't argue that much, we just like to discuss our problems." Open communication is great, but not when it's used as an excuse for calling each other names and saying hurtful things. You have to make an honest assessment of your relationship if you want it to succeed, denial prevents that from happening. If you are able to recognize and correct things at the denial stage, then you may not have to worry about the rest.

Anger and resentment may be the most common of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup. You broke up, and now you're mad at your ex. Even if deep down you know it was mostly your fault, you find reasons to be mad at them. You have to let go of the anger and resentment before you can move on. Plus, it is much better for your overall health when you're not carrying around so much anger.

Trying to patch things up is a worthy goal, but resorting to negotiation (the next stage) isn't the best way to go about it. Here you will say and do anything to get your ex back. You will change, make promises, and do "whatever it takes". But you're not really thinking them through. More than likely they do not fit in with your character and will be impossible for you to follow through on. When you notice you're using the word "if" a lot, it's a sure sign you are at this stage.

Depression as one of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup can really pop up at just about any time in the process. You may believe that you could never love somebody the same way again, or worse, that nobody will ever love you again. Regardless of when it occurs, be willing to seek professional help if you need it.

The final stage is acceptance. It's just like it sounds. You have come to terms with your relationship and accept whatever has happened. You start feeling better (not necessarily great, but better) and are ready to start being yourself again.

Remember, these five stages are just a guideline. You may not experience all of them, and they may be in a different order and vary in their intensity. Now that you are aware of the stages, it will be easier to get through them if the situation arises.

The Keys to Fixing a Broken Relationship

There is nothing wrong with fixing a broken relationship, but some ways of doing so are better than others. We'll take a look at what you can do, and what you should avoid, to patch things up. Salvaging your current relationship or getting back together will require a lot of effort. No matter what Hollywood likes to tell you, long-lasting relationships don't magically happen.

Before you even begin you have to ask yourself why you want it to be fixed. If you are doing it because you know "it will be different this time", then it may be a good idea to re-think your position

Many couples split because of one thing: distrust. Fixing a broken relationship requires honesty from this point forward. You have to be honest about who you are, who your mate is and what being together means to you. One point related to honesty is that you can't change other people. You can change yourself, but don't fool yourself thinking things will be better after you change your significant other.

Be careful that you don't lay it on too thick. You may want to show how enthusiastic you are about mending things, but be careful that you don't cross the line into overdoing it. Most people don't respond well to being overwhelmed, and are likely to pull back the more you push. Even if that isn't your intention, you have to think about how you're being perceived. Understand that no matter how much you want to fix things, it takes two people to make it work. If your ex isn't ready to mend things, you have to be ready to give them more time and space.

Now that you understand what to avoid, you will need an action plan before you can start fixing a broken relationship. Here are the three steps you need to take to set things right, and to keep them that way.

Identify: Before you can do anything, you need to know what's wrong. Take a look at the areas in your relationship that you would like to be better. This could be you, your mate, or the relationship itself. While you can only change yourself, being aware

Fix: Once you know where improvement is needed, it's time to solve the problem. This may require any different number of approaches. Chances are you won't get it right the first time, but keep trying until you are able to resolve the issue that's putting a strain on your relationship.

Maintain: No relationship is perfect. Be on constant alert for potential problem spots and take care of them as soon as possible. It is much easier to fix things sooner rather than later. Things will always pop up that need your and your better half's attention.

You can see that fixing a broken relationship may not always be the best thing to do, it's never that easy, but if you want to do it, it is possible to be a happier couple. Just follow the tips mentioned above and you will see how good things can be.

How to Ease Depression after a Break Up

To be blunt, breaking up sucks! And it's not just the feelings of loneliness that make it a lousy experience. Nasty things like guilt, pain, despair, and self-loathing can all seem to rear their ugly heads at the same time. Each of these emotions can derive from, or be the cause of, depression after a break up. The following thoughts will help you through it, and have you coming out the other side a new and improved you.

It is vital to realize that post-relationship depression is a very real problem. While that may not be a medical diagnosis, you must take it seriously, seeking professional help if needed.

Chances are your friends will try to cheer you up. But, let's face it, sometimes the things they say after a break up only make it worse. However, they can be a great resource to recovering from heartbreak, so be sure to take them up on any offers to help; assuming they fit in with your plans.

The main thing you need to do at this point is focus on taking care of yourself. You may not feel like eating, talking to anyone, or even taking care of basic hygiene. But you have to find a way to do it. Again, see a professional if these things start happening.

Though you may feel like it now, don't try to erase your ex completely from your mind. It's impossible to do so, and by trying to forget, you will actually be remembering more. You may want to get right back into another relationship to forget your ex (or to fill the void that has been left by their leaving). You just have to give it time. Do your best to avoid harmful rebound relationships, at all costs, as they can lead to a much worse situation.

One thing that really helps is to be around people. It may be difficult to be around friends and family that offer advice without understanding what you're really going through. The trick is to be social without having to deal with people that know you, your ex, or your situation. That's why volunteering for charities outside of your home is such a great idea. You don't have to worry about the excess emotional baggage, and you are getting rid of your depression after a break up and helping others at the same time.

While being around other people can work wonders, it's okay to enjoy your own company, too. Now is the ideal time to do things you have always wanted to do. Just be careful not to do things you associate with being a couple, at least at first.

A lot of depression after a break up stems from having too much extra time. How you use that time is key to your emotional well-being. You can use this time to make yourself more miserable, or you can use it to become a better, stronger, happier person. Admittedly, the latter choice isn't always easy, but it is possible...the choice is yours!

5 Keys to Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Sadly, there are times when what appeared to be a happy union must come to a conclusion. But ending a relationship gracefully can be a difficult undertaking. There are a lot of ways that a break up can go wrong, but that doesn't have to be the case. Here are some tips to help you part ways in a civil manner.

Before you even think about mentioning your desire to call it quits, you have to be 100% sure it's what you want to do, and know why you want to do it. This is important, because once you mention the subject of splitting up; there is no logical way for it to be unmentioned.

Key #1: Tell the truth - You may feel that you don't your partner anything, but as a fellow human being, they deserve the truth. If you are ending the relationship because you have done something wrong, now is the time to say so. While telling a few lies may make breaking up seem easier, in the long run it will always come back to haunt you.

Key #2: Be calm, respectful and direct - If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that emotions will be running high as soon as you broach the subject. Keep in mind that the proverbial ball is in your court. This means it is up to you to set the tone. Remain calm, respectful and direct to make things go more smoothly, but...

Key #3: Expect the unexpected - You may picture your significant other getting mad and burning up all of your clothes on the front lawn, or you may envision them sitting motionless, stone-faced and distant. Whatever you imagine, I can guarantee one thing, it will not go the way you think it will. That's why it is so important to know your plan and stick to it.

Key #4: Watch out for manipulation - There is always a chance that your soon-to-be ex will do everything they can to get you to stay. Being manipulated into sticking around will only breed resentment. On the other hand, they may raise an honest point you may not have previously considered. Just be extra careful when trying to determine what's really going on. To be fair, be sure you aren't the one doing the manipulating.

Key #5: No living in the past - This key is last because it's the most difficult. While you'll want to explain why you want to break up, don't bring up past faults that will lead to an argument. You both already know what you don't like about each other, there’s no need to bring it up now. If you absolutely must bring it up to explain why you're leaving, do your best to stick to the facts of the behaviour and not to personal attacks.

Ending a relationship gracefully is never an easy task. Adding insult to injury is never classy. It takes planning and careful implementation to end it gracefully, but it's the best way to handle things - for all parties involved.

The Secret To Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. And if they did, they were lying. A quick look at the shelves of any bookstore or library will tell you that people are looking for help in the relationship department. Seeking help in the form of a guide or book is a good idea, and a crucial step for many couples. However, evaluating your relationship with your partner before getting one is a good idea, too.

Why take the time to do this when a book has all the answers? Well, most books do not include a section on evaluation, and how can you know which steps to follow or how to follow them if you don't know where your relationship is at the moment? The answer is, you can't.

Because we as human beings are social creatures, it's only natural that we want to get along with those we are close to, and to remain with them whenever possible. Developing a sense of where you stand as a couple fits right in with our most basic desires.

When it comes to evaluating your relationship with your partner you can do it two different ways. The first way is to do it on your own, without any input from your significant other. The second way is to do it together as a couple. Both methods have their own pros and cons. Neither one is better than the other, because what counts is the ultimate goal of knowing what's going on.

Whichever method you choose, it doesn't have to be complicated. Simple yes or no questions are okay, but they don't really reveal all that much. The secret is to ask good, open-ended questions that will lead to more in-depth answers. Here are a few examples.

What do you want from the relationship?

What do you offer in the relationship?

What are your expectations of your partner?

What can you do to improve the relationship?

Where do you see the relationship going?

You'll notice that you can ask the above questions, and questions like them, whether doing the evaluation on your own, or with your partner.

The questions and answers are only the first part of the process. They are designed to get you thinking and talking. However, it is absolutely critical that you answer them honestly. This is easier said then done, especially when you have a certain outcome in mind. In other words, your answers when evaluating your relationship with your partner will be much different if you are assuming a break up is imminent than if you assume you'll be staying together.

It's important to keep an open mind while going through this process. By doing so, you will get to the heart of the matter and make a better decision based on what you discover. The answer at which you arrive may not be what you expect, and it's also not the final word. But it will help you to see things as they really are, and what steps you can take to have the best outcome possible.

Having A Very Hard Time Coping After Break-Up

Good relationships can be divided into the before commitment and after commitment stages. While poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages of their own: Before break-up and after break-up. There is a bit of dark humour there, because you will often think you are in the one of the two good relationship stages until its too late.

Perhaps that's why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are just a few of the emotions that make having a very hard time coping after break-up a not too uncommon experience. After all, things are going along just fine, because you are either committed to each other already, or about to be... at least that's what you're thinking. Then, wham! You find out you are now going through the after break-up. Here are a few ways to help you get through this difficult time more easily.

One of the best things you can do is find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won't do anything to help. The key is to find positive ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between staying active and denial.

Having a very hard time coping after break-up usually results in crawling into a little hole and wallowing in self-pity. That may be a bit blunt for some, but I hope it shakes them up! You have to be with people. There's no other way around it.

Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn't talk to your ex. Having someone to listen to you will go a long way towards helping you deal with the bad feelings you're experiencing. Even though friends do their best, sometimes they just aren't able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level by getting help from a mental health professional or find a therapist - some people don't go out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule, but they are there to help, and are required to keep everything confidential.

Forgiveness can be hard to give, but it is wonderfully liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them. Even tougher to do, though, is forgiving yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn't the point. Getting rid of the guilt is.

You may want to avoid everything but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a break up. That is, ultimately, the only way to ever get over it completely. You can't ignore it forever. Bad stuff happens to good people. You have to move on.

Feeling bad after a break-up is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn't healthy. Use the tips above to start getting to a more positive place. Once you do, you will be able to enjoy life much more than you do now.