Help Prevent Marriage Failure

If you are worried about marriage failure, you must sense that all is not rosy in your own love affair.   Don't panic, as most marriages go through periods where it seems that the divorce courts are getting nearer but it doesn't have to end this way.

If you have children, you need to get a babysitter.  Make a date with your husband away from your home.  Go to a restaurant or bar as being in public reduces the risk of your conversation turning into a full scale row. However, leave the booze alone unless of course you have something to celebrate at the end of the day. It is difficult enough to discuss the issues or problems you are facing in your relationship without having an alcohol induced haze to fight as well.

It is important to take this discussion to neutral territory for a number of reasons.  For one thing you have a duty to protect your kids from seeing the worst of the arguments between mom and dad.  Now don't get me wrong.  Your children will benefit from seeing their parents have mutual disagreements as that is life - bringing kids up to believe that the world is a happy place all the time is just silly and in the long term detrimental to their well being.  But you need to show them that married couples can argue and remain happily involved.  They can disagree but come to a solution together without getting abusive or making appointments with divorce lawyers.

Before you go to this date make a list of all the things you love about your partner and all the things that drive you nuts. Hopefully the first list will be longer!  Also try reading a couple of self help relationship counselling books as these can really help you to put things into perspective. I highly recommend reading the Magic of Making Up as it has saved countless marriages and relationships. 

When you do go on your date, be careful how you approach your other half.  If you start the evening off with “I hate it when" or "look at this list I made of all the reasons you annoy me" you are doomed to failure. You don't want to attack your partner. Ok, you may be angry and you may even have plenty of justification for being very angry but think about what you are trying to achieve.

You do not want your relationship to be another marriage failure statistic. Virtually any relationship can be saved if both parties want it to happen. You may have to persuade your partner that it is worth saving what you have.  You will both have to work hard and the next few months may well be the most difficult you have yet encountered in the history of your relationship.  But when you get through it you will find that your marriage is stronger and happier than it ever was.  Now isn't that worth fighting for?

Is Your Marriage on the Rock?

Are you thinking your marriage is on the rock?  Don't despair or panic, it is not over yet and with a little work and some good luck you can save your relationship.

Every partnership between a man and a woman will go through a period where it seems they have fallen in hate with each other rather than love. Perhaps you are fighting every day and can't remember the last time you both spent some quality loving time together.  Perhaps your sex life has died and is now just a distant memory.  Or maybe you have found out your partner has been cheating on you or lying to you about something important?

People often believe that cheating is the end of any relationship but it doesn't have to be.  A one off affair is not the same as somebody who cheats on a regular basis regardless of the consequences.  That shows a distinct lack of respect for their partner and that is not an easy problem to resolve.

Whatever the reason for your current difficulties, splitting up and heading for the divorce courts is not the easy answer. You owe it to yourself and each other to make an effort to save this relationship and fight for your right to be happy together. You fell in love once and the good news is that you can rekindle these feelings and perhaps even make your marriage stronger.  Will it be easy? No!  Will it be painful?  Yes!  Will it take time?  Yes!  But will it be worth it? Almost definitely.  I say almost as only you know whether you are willing to put in the time, effort and commitment to saving your marriage.

You are going to need some outside help. For some this will take the form of relationship counselling while others would prefer to read a book in the privacy of their own home.  Some people will want to do both.  I would strongly recommend that you both read the Magic of Making Up.  It will help you to put things into perspective.  It will also show you that most couples are capable of resolving their issues and making their commitment to each other stronger and happier.

It really comes down to the question of whether you are prepared to fight for the potential your marriage once had or if you want to walk away. If you think you prefer the second option, remember that the grass can appear greener on the other side. In other words, it may seem that you will be happier with your partner out of the picture but the reality could be very different. Life is hard no matter what age or background you come from.  Sharing the ups and downs that come along every day with someone you love and respect makes living a lot more fun and a lot more worthwhile.

So what are you willing to do to take your marriage on the rock and turn it into a happy love affair?

What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?

If you are wondering what the Bible says about marriage, it really depends on which book you read.  Obviously the views of the Old Testament are rather stricter than those expressed in the New Testament.  You need to be careful when looking to the Bible for answers. Sure use it as guidance but the contents need to be interpreted in the light of the times those people lived in.  Not all of the information contained in this book is relevant to the issues and crisis that can affect marriages today.

For example, the "What God has joined together let no man separate" teaching is wonderful if you are in a successful marriage and both of you are happy. But I don't believe God would want any woman to stay with an abusive husband or vice versa. And while I believe that marriage is for life, there are always exceptions to the rule.  Unfortunately in our society today, the number of marriages breaking down is on the increase.  This could be for a number of reasons, not least of which is that divorce is more socially acceptable these days. It could also be the fact that people often enter into marriage contracts without putting enough thought into whether the other person is the right match for them.  Just look at any number of celebrities, some of whom appear to believe that a Wedding chapel should be fitted with revolving doors.

It is very easy to walk away when your marriage hits a bad spot and sadly that is the mistake a lot of people make.  But the fact is that every relationship will hit the rocks on occasion.  What is important is what you do to put it back on the happy track. Men and women are so different that it can lead to communication issues. Then you add in life hassles such as worries over children, money, mortgages, jobs etc and it is easy to see why romance may go a little cold.

But before you head for the divorce lawyer, why not invest a little money into some education. Buy the Magic of Making Up and see if you can apply these theories to your own situation. So many people will separate from their partner and end up living a life of misery on their own. Or they move onto the next marriage and then the next etc.  If you once loved your partner, you can rekindle this lost love and it really doesn't take a huge effort. In fact it usually takes less time and energy than trying to find someone else to love and learning how to handle their faults.  Better stick to the devil you know and usually love on some level!

So pay less attention to wondering what does the Bible say about marriage and start concentrating on getting those romantic feelings back into your own.  You will be very glad you did.

Get FREE Advice from the man that has helped 50,000+ couples get back together... The Magic of Making Up

What Are the Signs ex Wants You Back?

Do you know what are the signs ex wants you back? If you don't then you need to learn them or you could lose your relationship forever.

So what should you be looking for? Is your ex suddenly turning up everywhere you go? I don't mean in a way that would suggest stalking you but in a casual just happened to be at the same place type way? Don't forget that your ex knows you intimately so it wouldn’t be difficult to work out where you are going to be. The fact he/she is making this effort to find you would suggest he or she wants you back. 

Is he or she always smiling and well dressed? Again these are big clues that they want to rekindle romance with you as the advice is always to appear happy and well turned out as nobody wants to be with someone miserable.

Have they taken to calling or texting you about little things? Are they looking for excuses to talk to you?  If this is the case, this is the strongest signal yet that they want you back. Do you want them back? If so, why not ask them to meet and sit down and have a chat.  I don't believe in the rule that you should always wait for the other person to make the first move.  You could end up waiting your entire life and that would be a waste for everyone involved.

On the other hand you could find that your ex has disappeared into the sunset and is not to be found. This could also be a sign that they want you back but are following the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" approach. I don't understand why people bother with this technique as if you are not available to talk, how can you fix a problem in your relationship? But a lot of counsellors suggest it as a way of dealing with a break up and unfortunately their clients listen.  Worse still, some people will advise your ex to start dating someone else in the hope that this makes you jealous.  I don't know about you but I would get angry if my ex did this to me but I suppose it would get my attention. I would never suggest to anyone they try this tactic as it could so easily backfire and it is never right to play with another person's emotions.

If you are looking for more hints on how to get your ex back, you should read the Magic of Making Up by T. W. Jackson.  Just head over and read the testimonials to see how often this book has helped couples get back on track on the road to relationship happiness.  Couples just don't say together through luck. Those in happy partnerships are there because they work at it and spend time together helping to deepen the bond that began with the initial attraction. If you want your ex back, go and get them and work together to try and find a way to rekindle the love and passion you both once shared.

Have You Heard Someone Say I Lost the love of my life?

How often have you heard someone say I lost the love of my life?  How did you feel when they said that?  Perhaps you are saying it yourself?   It is relatively easy to lose love.  Why?  Men and women are very different creatures and often they have problems communicating with each other.  Add to that the unrealistic expectations that Hollywood or TV productions nurture via their films and you can see why couples often split as soon as the going gets a little tough.

But the fact is that all relationships even the ones others consider to be successful will go through difficult patches. Ask any couple who have lasted the distance and they will tell you that it isn't all moonlight and roses. You can be living with someone, married to them even and have kids together yet feel that you hate them with a passion you never knew you had.  You don't really, well most people don't!  Life has just got in the way and over time you two have forgotten that you need to nurture your love much as a plant needs watering to survive.

It is too easy to take someone else for granted and assume that they are happy with the way things are between you.  It is also easier to leave things be than to try and deal with any painful issues that may have developed between you. Sometimes there is an embarrassment factor as well. For example it is not uncommon for couples to start to experience sexual difficulties when they have been together for a while.  This could be something simple like one partner has a higher sex drive than the other or it could be a medical reason such as the menopause causing problems or the man having difficulties maintaining an erection.  Instead of dealing with these issues together, some couples let them come between then until such a time as the communication gap is so wide you end up thinking… I lost the love of my life.

Other couples let their job, their kids or their friends take priority over their partners and this can cause anger and resentment. You should never let anyone not even your children come before your partner, at least not on a consistent basis.  Kids grow up and leave home, friends come and go but your partner is the one person you want to remain by your side forever. The key is to remind them of this fact on a regular basis.

The good news is that most relationship issues can be sorted out with a little bit of guidance. You can seek marriage counselling or you could read a great self help book like the Magic of Making up. Perhaps you could do both.  If you have already split up by the time you read this, don't despair. It doesn't mean you have to give up on your ex partner forever. You can get them back if you know the right way to achieve it.   So stop thinking I lost the love of my life and start thinking about all the ways and means at your disposal to rekindle love and passion.

I Miss My Ex – How To Get Back Together Again

How often do you hear people saying I miss my ex?  Probably a lot and the sad thing is that most relationships that finish shouldn't.  They end because of poor communication which can be easily improved if only you know how.  Very few couples break up because of infidelity. In fact, being able to talk properly to each other would often make the reasons behind the infidelity disappear.

so why do we find it so difficult to communicate?  There are a number of reasons but the main one is that our brains are wired differently. Our brains process information in various ways and generally speaking in women there are certain parts of the brain namely the language centre that is more developed than in a mans.  That doesn't mean that women are superior to men only that they are different.  A woman tends to be more emotional whereas a man is more logical.  So when discussing a problem, it can seem as if they are speaking different languages.

Other things get in the way as well such as pride and fear. When you have too much pride, you don't want to be seen as the weaker partner.  Funnily enough the very things that you think are weak such as the ability to admit when you are wrong or that you miss your partner are actually a sign of strength of character.  It is knowing what we want out of life and grabbing it with both hands that makes us happy not whether we were the ones to apologize last in an argument.

Fear is another big factor in the breakdown of partnerships.  Most of us have an underlying fear of rejection. This may be caused by past experiences or a lack of self esteem or both.  So instead of telling our partner that we love them and want to stay with them forever, we walk away for fear they don't feel the same way. The sad truth is that they probably do love you too but are also afraid of laying their emotions on the line for fear that they will get trampled. 

It is very sad to see couples that are great together break up. It is especially so when they have been together a long time so have invested lots of emotional hours into the relationship.  Often the break up is caused by life factors such as stress at work or worries over kids or finances.  Other times one partner may feel jealous of the relationship between their partner and one of their own kids.  Children can play a huge part in splitting up their parents not by choice but because children aged 5 -7 often become jealous of their parents. For example a boy may feel that his Dad is more important to his mum that he is so he will stir up trouble between them.  Or a girl may feel jealous of her Dad's affection for her mum. This is completely natural and a phase in childhood that most kids grow out of.  But while it is happening, it can prove very stressful to all concerned.

So the next time you hear someone say I miss my ex, tell them to contact their old partner and see if they can get together for a chat and just maybe they will get back together again.

How to Stop a Divorce in Five Easy Steps

With the divorce rate rising on what appears to be a daily basis, it is no surprise that people are wondering how to stop a divorce. The good news is that it can be done; it is relatively easy when you put these five steps into action.

1) Find time for each other:

Your relationship will not survive unless you find time for each other and do this regularly. This doesn't mean throwing the odd comment at one another over the dinner table when the kids are fighting but actually making an effort to communicate. Put the kids to bed, switch the TV or computer off and sit down and have a chat.  Talk about your day, your feelings and any issues that are worrying you.  By maintaining open lines of communication you are less likely to have disagreements and misunderstandings over trivial things. Yes you will still fight but that is completely natural and can be a good thing if it leads to a nice making up session.

2) Always show respect for one another: 

No matter how long you have been together you should always show respect for your partner.  Give them time for themselves and don't expect to occupy their every waking moment. There will be times when your partner is going through a difficult time either because of work or personal problems that have nothing to do with your relationship.  Be there for them at this time. This doesn't mean you have to solve the problem as that will not always be possible but if they know they have your support, it will help a lot.

3) Never put one another down

You should never put your partner down not even in private. When someone loves another person, they tend to open up to them and share intimate details that they wouldn’t share with anyone else. If that partner then uses this knowledge to put them down, the hurt can be enormous.  So be careful and try and think before you open your mouth. If you do insult them, be quick to apologize and reassure them you didn't mean it.

4) Show appreciation

We are all guilty of taking things for granted including our health, our jobs and probably our partners. You need to make a conscious effort to show your partner appreciation for their efforts.  You know your partner and this means understanding how they like to be shown appreciation. For some people telling them verbally works while for others, they need gestures rather than just words.  Taking time to complement your other half will increase your mutual appreciation and the bond between you making divorce less likely.

5) Show forgiveness

We all mess up occasionally and rather than holding onto this incident, why not practice forgiveness. You never know when you will mess up and you will want your partner to return the favour.  Nobody is perfect and you will have a much happier life if you don't keep expecting them to be.

Follow these five tips and you should never need to know how to stop a divorce!