Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together

If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together.  That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to.

Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic.  But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy.  Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together.

People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time.  While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated.  You want your kids to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow.

In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them.  This doesn't mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful.   You need to develop good listening skills - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you.  Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss.

Spend time together - this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together.  Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn't count.  If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time.

If your intimate relationship needs some work, don't ignore it.  Mutual attraction and lust played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. It is completely natural for the overwhelming urge to jump on each other to wear off but you should still find each other attractive.  The good news is that the more you make love, the more your body will want it. Making love releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings.  Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn't take that much effort anymore!

Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don't put your head in the sand.  Read books like the Magic of Making Up and apply some of their teachings.  You want a happy marriage?  Search and apply the techniques that work for other people and you can be as happy as you wish.

Have Fun - Do a Marriage Quiz Today

If you want some light entertainment one evening why not do a marriage quiz together? These tests are designed to be a bit of fun but sometimes they can be used for other purposes.  Some people will use them to sort out the problems in their relationship which is rather unrealistic unless both of you have taken a truth drug.  For example, if you are both in a loving mood then you will score highly on these tests as you will both be open to the suggestions that your partner is wonderful. However if he is less than Romeo in your eyes or she resembles your mother in law more than the wife you married, you can get all the wrong results.  For example, they can be used to check compatibility, although one could argue that it is a bit late checking that when you are already married! 

So you have been warned, what can start as a game can quickly turn into an argument if you have underlying issues already.  So if you two have been fighting a lot lately perhaps this is not the type of fun you should engage in.  But that said they can be a useful way to open up a discussion, particularly if you find it difficult to talk about your problems. You may find that the quiz opens up some doors to better communication between you.  If you want to start talking about a difficult topic you might want to introduce a quiz as an idea for an activity that both of you can do together when the kids have gone to bed.  Just be careful as these things can spiral out of control very quickly if either partner takes offence easily.

Where can you find these marriage quizzes?  They regularly appear in magazines and are also available online. But if you are having problems in your relationship this is the not the way to resolve them. You need to get some help whether you try a relationship counselling service or some self help books and courses.  If you are not sure where to start you could try the Magic of Making Up which helps to develop proper communication between spouses and partners.  Sometimes it can seem like men and women are from two different planets. They often want the same things but are not sure how to put this into words. 

Every couple have days where they argue constantly and appear to have lost all love for one another. It is only when these days outnumber the good ones that you need to be concerned.  A marriage quiz is meant as a bit of fun and we all need some fun and light entertainment in our lives particularly if we are going through stressful times.  One of the best ways of keeping your relationship alive is to laugh together.  Try renting an old funny movie or doing a quiz.  Whatever works for you.

Is My Marriage In Trouble

If you are asking yourself the question is my marriage in trouble then it could appear that the answer is yes but this doesn't mean that it is. It might not be in grave danger of heading to the divorce courts but you are obviously not happy in the relationship if you are thinking this way. This maybe because there are issues between yourself and your partner or it may just be your perception of how things are. You could be feeling unfulfilled and lonely. 

Whatever the reason for your feelings you need to get to the bottom of them or your marriage will be affected. It is not possible to have a happy relationship when one or both partners are feeling isolated, unloved or confused.  It is not your partner's responsibility to solve your problems, emotional or otherwise for you, but it does help when they are supportive and understanding.

You may be feeling down because your diet is lacking in certain vitamins and minerals. For example, women of childbearing age need plenty of Vitamin B in their diets as otherwise their hormones can cause them problems.  They can suffer from restless sleeping as well as mood swings and depression. Often you don't get sufficient vitamin B from natural resources so you may need a course of vitamin tablets to get you back on an even keel.  Speak to your doctor if you are finding it difficult to sleep, are tired all the time or having difficulty shedding excess weight.  You may have an underlying medical condition such as a thyroid problem and so need medical treatment. Men can be affected too.

Your worries may highlight a problem in your relationship.  Have you tried talking to your partner about your feelings?  It is not the easiest thing to do but once you take the first step you may find that you start to feel better.  Communication is not a skill we learn in school or college. It is one of those things that people just assume we learn as we are growing up.  Some people are natural communicators but most of us struggle to put our feelings into words particularly when talking to the person who means more to us than anyone else.

In the book The Magic of Making Up, the writer discusses the problems that communication issues between couples cause. Most marriages end due to bad communication rather than an affair or abuse.  And the really sad bit is that a significant number of break ups could have been avoided if one or both partners asked for help.

So don't sit and wallow in your feelings.  Talk to your partner today.  Find some quiet time together and tell them how you are feeling and ask them how they feel about things and take it from there. You may find a little bit of good communication and some time together will help to resolve your worries and you will no longer be asking is my marriage in trouble.

Marriage Seminars – Do They Work?

Marriage seminars are becoming very popular with a variety of people and you may have thought about attending one yourself.  In certain parts of the world you cannot have a church wedding without first attending a marriage seminar.  The idea is that by going to one of these courses, the couple get a chance to explore the various issues that they may face during married life.  The person leading the seminar will show them how to explore their different responses and how best to communicate with each other. 

Do these courses work?  That is actually hard to quantify as it is difficult to measure the success rate. If a couple attends a relationship seminar and decides not to get married you don't keep any statistics on them.  If after attending the seminar they go ahead and get married and perhaps divorce in five years time, the statistics are already skewed.  Some couples do benefit but some just attend as it is mandatory and they won't be allowed have their big day in the Church without having a certificate to prove they were there.

The other form of marriage seminar is the one organized for those that are already married.  These seminars run all over the country. There are a variety available.  For example, you can attend a Christian seminar or one designed for another religion. Some seminars have no religious bias at all. The idea is to give couples an open platform in a neutral setting to discuss issues that may be preventing them from connecting properly.  Do these types of courses work?  Well yes for some people but it really depends on what type of couple you are and what your problems are. If you are very private and don't like discussing issues in front of other people you are unlikely to find that this type of event will help you.

You would probably benefit from one to one marriage counselling instead. What can work for everyone is some education into how relationships work and how to fix those that are not working properly.  A great book for anyone to read and implement is the Magic of Making Up.  As the title suggests it is aimed at those who are having problems and want to resolve them.  If you have a read of the testimonials you will see how many people credit it with giving them back their happy relationships.  Even if you haven't reached the point of breakup you can benefit from reading and applying the knowledge that you learn from books like these. 

We can all benefit from better communication skills.  It is just a pity that it takes a crisis or thoughts of a marriage seminar for us to realize that we need help and soon.  Don't take your relationship for granted. It needs care and attention in order to flourish.  But when it does you will be so much happier.

Does Marriage Restoration Work

Are you wondering if marriage restoration works?  Yes it does if you know exactly what to do and when.  Love is like a plant - you need to nurture your love or it will die. You need to feed it on a regular basis and let it build in strength.  A well nourished relationship is very hard to destroy.

If you need some ideas on how marriage restoration works have a read of Magic of Making Up.  The strategies in there will help most people to improve their relationships and not just those of us facing a marriage breakdown. Communication between couples can be fraught with problems.  Our egos often get in the way and it not our egos, our pride.  How often have you known that you should apologize for your behaviour but decided that you couldn't do it as you didn't want to lose face.  Some men let their egos go to their head.  They lose a fantastic relationship with the woman of their dreams because some other girl looks attractive and shows interest. He can't let his ego down by saying no, is unfaithful, gets caught and then wonders why he may need marriage restoration. 

When you are part of a couple, life is not always easy. You have to compromise and this can mean that you spend your Saturday on the sidelines at a game when you would rather be in the Mall shopping. Or it could mean you take your wife and her parents out to dinner when you would rather be with your mates in a bar somewhere.   But the benefits of being happily married far outweigh any disadvantages.  Being able to come home to your loving partner at the end of a hard day. Knowing that there is always someone who believes in you and what you are trying to achieve.  Knowing you are not on your own and don't have to spend your life in a series of flings because you are lonely.

If you have children, you owe them the chance of growing up in a happy home with both their parents. They didn't ask to come into your life, you invited them.  All kids want Mom and Dad to stay together. Sometimes it is best for parents to split up but only if they have tried everything to make their relationship work first. They can't just bail at the first sign of trouble.   All couples go through phases of being less than happy with each other, but for the majority these phases will pass especially if you both make an effort to resolve the underlying issues.

Yes being happily married takes hard work and commitment but the benefits are fantastic. So if you feel marriage restoration would work for you today, get a copy of the Magic of Making Up, follow the instructions and get your relationship back on the right track now.  Don't wait until it is too late.

Have You Been Looking Into Marriage Encounters

Marriage encounters is a course run by the Catholic Church which began in the 1960's. It is advertised as a unique opportunity for couples to spend time together exploring their relationship.  It is not specifically aimed at those having marriage problems as the speakers do not offer advice or counselling.  Other religious groups will offer a similar program for their members.  If you are interested but are not a Catholic speak to your religious adviser about what they offer.   

It is more about building up togetherness in the relationship and helping a couple to survive the period in every marriage that happens when the initial love and lust has started to wear off.  Is it worth going on one of these weekends?  Well that really depends on your view point.  Some people find it a wonderful experience while others are not all that impressed.  I would suggest that you don't pressure your partner into going and only attend one of these events if both of you are keen.  Don't be afraid that it will be a religious event as most couples don't come away with that impression. It is all about finding the right way and time to speak to your partner.  Simply taking time out of your life to concentrate on your relationship is always a good thing.  Going away on a weekend where it is just the two of you makes it rather difficult not to spend some time discussing your issues and feelings.  Even the best relationships need some attention and love as otherwise they will not last.

If you are having marriage difficulties and want to get some help, there are specific places to look.  You can try marriage counselling offered by your Church, religious group or a local charity in your area. You can also try reading some good self help materials such as the Magic of Making Up. If both partners read this book, you are almost guaranteed to find some improvement in your relationship as it will teach you how to speak to one another in a constructive way. 

There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. For example if you never spend time together on your own, you need to address this. If you find that you cannot think of things to talk about other than your kids or your money problems, this may also be a sign that there are issues that need addressing. If you fail to make a connection in bed or outside it, you probably should get some help to avoid any minor problems becoming bigger.

Every relationship is different - what some couples find romantic others find overwhelming but if you have been together for any length of time, your instincts will tell you if there is a problem.  Don't ignore it.  Perhaps the marriage encounters weekend may be a good idea if only to force you into each others company for a couple of days.

Marriage Requirements - Do You Make the Grade

It is amazing how many people will search for marriage requirements to see if they can legally get married or perhaps to see if they can have a Church wedding.   Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger. 

Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such.  More people give longer thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles.  The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn't help.

The sad fact is though that most people do not walk away from a broken marriage without incurring pain and scarring.  It is difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die.  And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it.  They don't regret getting married, they regret getting divorced! 

So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation?  The first step is to be realistic in your expectations.  While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable.  You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You need to show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own.  Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe.  And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don't want to be left with a stranger for company.

You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other.  Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines Day or your wedding anniversary.  In the Magic of Making Up you will get more ideas on how to prevent your marriage or relationship from joining the depressing list of the divorce statistics.  So stop worrying about marriage requirements and concentrate instead of being sure that you two are made to last the distance.