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Saturday 2 July 2011

How to Get Back with Ex Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband or Wife


Is it feasible to be taught how to get back with ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife? The quick answer is yes. Most everyone has had to deal with a relationship ending at one point in their lives but not everybody knows that the end does not essentially have to be the end.
Did you know that 90% of relationships can be repaired? That's right 90%. The trick is learning what to do and then doing it. It is a course of action and there are specific steps you need to take to accomplish your goal.
Your ex probably told you in no uncertain terms why they were leaving you. What happened? Did you exhibit some awful ways they just couldn't tolerate anymore? Did you cheat on them? Whatever the motive is or was the first thing to do is change the behaviour. Fix what needs to be fixed.
When the new you has emerged and you have transformed your way of thinking and behaving, the next thing to do is say sorry. Send a note with some flowers or something nice and make your admission of guilt genuine. Do not come off as sounding needy or desperate though, this is a giant turn off. Your ex will not talk to you if you sound needy or desperate. You want things to change? Change them. The love you save could be your own.
When confronted with the job of learning how to get back with ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, learn what to say and how to say it. There are specific strategies you can learn to allow you to do this. When you master this incredible art of communication you will have your ex eating out of the palm of your hand.
Like I said, this is a process you have to learn and get comfortable with so do not expect to be able to get your ex to come running back to you tomorrow if they just left you today. With careful planning and some time and effort, you can make them see that they still love you and probably made a blunder when they left you in the first place.
Too many people break up and then make the changes they needed to make during the relationship. They do not understand that if they had made the changes while still in the relationship they may not have broken up when they did.
Another piece of advice I can give you is, after you have accomplished your goal of getting back together, do not become a passive bystander. Keep working to strengthen what you have gotten back. You had to work hard to get your ex back and you will have to work hard to keep them. Show them everyday what they mean to you. This does not have to be anything huge or extravagant; just find some way to show your partner that you value them. I guarantee you will not regret learning how to get back with ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.
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Friday 1 July 2011

Stop Your Divorce and Save Your Marriage

When it comes to trying to stop your divorce most of us will do the exact opposite things to what we should really do. One of the most widespread things is to plead, solicit and promise to make changes. A healthier thing to do is to be sensible. Sometimes a marriage can't be saved and maybe shouldn't be saved. Focus on if you really should save your marriage.
It's easy to get scared of the prospect of being alone, especially when you've been with someone for a while. Just make sure it is not the reason you want to stay married. It's not a good motive.
If you find that you really do want to save your marriage for the right reasons than you have got options. Here are some things you can do, or not do, to help save your marriage:
1.  First things first, assuming that your partner isn't just a jackass, but has been a loving partner to you and has just gotten to the point where they don't see a future between the two of you, take some time to evaluate how you and your marriage have changed since the two of you have been together.
2. One of the best things the two of you can do is to find a counsellor who can guide you down this path. The two of you have probably had years of poor communication skills and bad habits, it's going to be hard to break those bad habits alone. A counsellor can help. A counsellor can also act as referee if things start to get a little too heated. If you really want to save your marriage this is usually the best way to go about it.
3. After you've given that some thought and hopefully come up with some ideas, talk to your spouse. I mean really talk, talk like you probably haven't talked to each other in years, openly, honestly without anger and resentment. Don't accuse, just suggest. Tell them what you think and ask them what they think. Even though you are both coming at it from different angles, you might just find that you are both on the same page.  Talking will help you find out.
It's sad but true that we often drift apart from each but it happens so slowly we don't even realize it.  Try to compare where the two of you are now in your relationship as opposed to where you used to be. Now don't be idealistic. People change and so do relationships, you can't expect to feel exactly the same way together as you did when you were twenty. That's unrealistic. But that doesn't mean that as the two of you have changed and grown that your marriage can't change and grow and stay strong too. Has it? Or have the two of you gone your separate ways without even realizing it?
By trying to stop your divorce you just might make your marriage healthier than it's been in a long time, or maybe better than it's ever been. Just talk to one another, and more importantly, listen to one another. Find someone who can help you pilot this difficult path, and you'll have a very good chance of making things work out just the way you want.

All you need is a successful relationship strategy so Click Here... and watch this FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love!

Thursday 30 June 2011

Relationship Break Up - Two Schools Of Thought

Relationship break up is hard to deal with as it is, no one wants to have to endure a big scene where there’s a lot of crying and pleading. If you want to know the best way to go through a relationship break up and make it as easy as possible on both of you, here are a few tips.
More than likely by the time you're ready to end the relationship you've already had enough emotional scenes to last a lifetime and just can't face the idea of another one. That's the reason that some people take the (tacky) route of leaving a voice mail message or sending a text message to breakup. While it's understandable that you'd want to avoid another scene, it's a nasty way to deal with a relationship break up.
There is a middle ground, somewhere between a tacky text message and a full on emotional assault:
1. For one thing, make sure you really want to breakup. Now is not the time to be indecisive. Give it some thought and don't do it on the spur of the moment or you may just end up regretting it and eating your words.  But, once you've made up your mind give yourself a day or so to get your head around it. When the times comes you have to be calm and firm and allowing yourself time to get used to the idea will help you accomplish that.
2. Now that you've decided that a breakup is the right thing to do and you've gotten used to the idea, don't drag it out forever. Decide on the best time and place, and make it soon, to have 'the talk' with your partner. When choosing the best time and place you should choose a time where you can take some time and explain things.  Don't tell your best friend or anyone else until you talk to your partner, you don't want someone to slip up and say something before you've had a chance to talk to your partner, the news has to come from you.
As to the location, there are two schools of thought on that. Some people recommend a restaurant or someplace public to keep the scene to a minimum. While other people think that this type of conversation should be handled in private so that your soon-to-be-ex doesn't have the added humiliation of breaking down in public. Personally, unless I was afraid for my safety, I'd go for the private location. I just think that your partner deserves that much respect during a relationship break up.
3. When the two of you meet, don't go for the big build-up. Just say what you want to say and get it out.  Make sure you explain why you've reached the decision you have (explain, don't justify. It's your decision to make you don't have to justify it).  Be compassionate but firm. Don't waver in the least. Let them talk if they want, but only for a short time. It won't do either of you any good to sit through a long, uncomfortable pleading session. If they have something to say, fine, let them have their say. But if it's just one long attempt to get you to change your mind you have to pull the plug. 
4. After you've done the deed, leave. Don't call them and don't accept their calls if they call you. It may sound harsh but it's far worse for you to send mixed signals and talk to them if you really don't want them in your life, best for both of you to just move on.
A relationship break up is never a fun thing to go through, but if you have to do it, do it as compassionately and quickly as possible. It's best for both of you.

All you need is a successful relationship strategy so Click Here... and watch this FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love!

Wednesday 29 June 2011

Dealing with Breakups Suck – Move Quickly

Finding the best ways of dealing with breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case ‘practice may make perfect’ but no one wants to endure the pain, confusion and degradation once, let alone numerous times during their lives. The fact is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it occurs.
There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help diminish the pain when dealing with breakups, or at least sidetrack you from it for a little while. There are a lot of things that can do just that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using negative things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.
1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" self-pitying. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be smarting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life.  Before you move out of this phase though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex, you probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the cellar or attic, out of sight.
2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are entertaining (or at least you used to think they were pleasurable before this pain started).  Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can.  It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help a great deal.
One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt a blameless person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until you’re truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.
Dealing with breakups suck, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as rapidly and easily as possible and believe that someday you will meet someone wonderful, again.

All you need is a successful relationship strategy so Click Here... and watch this FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love!

Tuesday 28 June 2011

Ending a Relationship on Good Terms

Ending a relationship on good terms is not always possible. It's so easy to second guess yourself and wonder if you're making a horrible mistake. Then comes the guilt you'll feel by causing someone you used to love, and maybe still do, all that hurt. Where should you have 'the talk'? When?  What will you say? What should you make sure not to say?  It's never easy to break up, but with some forethought you can lessen the hurt and clumsiness a little bit.
Do yourself a favour and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It's very hard, sometimes impossible; to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you're sure this is the best thing to do...before you do it.  Don't go off in a sulk because the two of you just had a fight. You don't want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you've jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.
Of course, if you're being abused, don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground.  Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence.  Make sure you're really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don't expect that you'll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It's easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you?  Really?  You better be sure.
If after all this soul searching you're still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that's no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex.  Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don't be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You've waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.
When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don't lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you're already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don't back down. You've given this a lot of thought and you're sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you’ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?
Once you've done it and the two of you are through, don't give into temptation and call them, and don't take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you're the one who ended the relationship it's up to you to be the 'strong' one and cut off all contact.  You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, but don't. Make a clean break.
You can't take away all the pain and make things better for your ex when it comes to ending a relationship on good terms, but you can handle the situation with thought and compassion to make things as easy as possible. And you should, because karma has a habit of biting you in the posterior.

All you need is a successful relationship strategy so Click Here... and watch this FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love!

Monday 27 June 2011

Relationship Trouble Signs – What to Look Out For!

Relationship trouble, what are the signs?  Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to collapse?  Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for?  No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.
The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable.  It's best to see things clearly; if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.
Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:
1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, don't be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and they're a lot busier at work. If they don't have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.
Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively.  Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.
2. Does your 'better half' suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they don't want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, what's going on?  If they say 'nothing' that might well be your answer since it's obvious that their behaviour has changed and if they don't have a good reason why it could be that there isn't a good reason.  Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. You'd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.
3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just don't seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else.  Of course, it could also be a sign that they're tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc.  Don't jump to conclusions, just ask.
Many times relationship trouble signs are pretty easy to spot, as long as you're not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early you've got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open and stay rational.

All you need is a successful relationship strategy so Click Here... and watch this FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love!

What Is Emotional Infidelity and How to Deal With It

We don't live in a bubble. We spend time out in the world with other people and sometimes we make a connection with those other people. This is great, and a wonderful part of life. But it can become emotional infidelity when you are being more intimate with this new person than you are with your partner, even if it isn't sexual.  It may be hard to draw the line sometimes but if you find that you are thinking of another person a lot, and not just in a casual way, it may be that you need to assess your own relationship.
It's very common that this type of emotional infidelity will eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes any further.
The longer you allow yourself to spend time with this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to.  Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an 'unnatural' bond with the new person.
Your spouse is the person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your partner share.  By letting this other person in, more and more every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your partner.  If you do that for too long, your main relationship will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so neatly. 
It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't bicker; you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too.  It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you at home.
What is emotional infidelity? It’s very often the first step to a fully fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of its own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand that you can't salvage the situation.

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