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Saturday 1 January 2011

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship?

Anytime there are cheaters involved in relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of “Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?” there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Thursday 30 December 2010

Free Advice on How to Get Your Ex Back


Are you looking for free advice on how to get your ex back? Well, you're in luck because you can definitely find a lot of it out there on the internet. Almost everyone has gone through a damaged relationship at one point or another and many are eager to share what they did to cope or win back their loved ones. Strategies differ from one person to the next and what works for someone else may not work for you. But there are some common factors that many experts agree on.

First of all, when you have broken up, you need to stay broken up for a while. This means as little contact as possible and of course, no begging, pleading and promising to make things better. Take some time off. It is what both of you need. If you do have to see each other because of unavoidable circumstances such as work or the kids, be friendly but do not get involved in any conversations that stray towards your past relationship.

Next, take this time off to focus on yourself. Stop thinking about your ex and how to win them back. Instead, think about how you can improve yourself both inside and out. If you've let yourself slide because of the relationship stresses, this is the time to put yourself back together. Make sure you are eating right and not drinking too much alcohol or abusing any other substances. You definitely want to be taking time out to exercise. Now that you are single, you have that time. Get involved in certain groups or volunteer programs. And make sure that you get out of the house with some friends every once in a while, even if you don't feel like it. Finally, getting enough sleep is crucial to your health. People who get enough sleep don’t tend to eat more and be overweight and look older.

What is the purpose of this type of free advice on how to get your ex back? It is all geared towards getting yourself back first. Chances are you've lost a little bit of that during your relationship struggles. Once you've re-established your self confidence and self esteem, you will be ready to once again approach your ex with the intention of getting back together. How long does it take? This also varies but generally you can tell when you're ready because getting him/her back will suddenly not seem so extremely urgent.

Then and only then should you try to make contact with your ex. Invite him or her for coffee or something that doesn't require too much time or commitment on either side. From here on is where the free advice on how to get your ex back will start to vary again. But once you've gotten to this point, you may be able to rely on your own heart and new-found confidence to guide you through.

Wednesday 29 December 2010

How to Get Your Ex Wife Back With Self-belief

"How to get your ex wife back?" Do you find yourself asking yourself this same question over and over again? You're not alone. Thousands of people are going through divorce every day and asking themselves the same thing. The good news is that you can get back with your ex wife if you have just one key ingredient.

There really is only one thing that you need in order to bring your ex wife back to you and that is self-belief. Chances are that if you're at the point of asking yourself "How to get your ex wife back?" then you are pretty low in the self-belief ranking scale at the moment. As you go through marital problems and fear the loss of your wife, your self-belief can really take a nose dive, even if you used to be someone who was really sure of yourself.

Your self-belief helps you in many ways. It can help you get hired. It can attract someone to you (if you're not over-confident) and it definitely can help you get your ex wife back. Self-belief will help you in all walks of life and having it will keep your marriage healthy once you are back in your wife’s arms.

If you lack self-belief, you have low self-esteem which is why you are wondering if you can really get your wife back or not. A confident person would realize that he can. Your low self-esteem will tell you that you are not good enough or that your wife can easily find someone better. Once you have this in your head, you either give up or you start doing desperate things to try to get your wife back which, of course, only makes things worse. What usually happens in this case is that your ex will start to feel sorry for you. It is difficult at that stage to change her notion of you. But you can do it.

Rather than sulking and plotting how you are going to win back your wife, start concentrating on yourself. You need a spiritual make-over. Make sure you are eating right, exercising and spending time with friends. Get out even if you don't feel like it. Fake it 'til you make it and do not contact your ex. This is your time to get your self-esteem back.

Pretty soon, you'll see that you are no longer faking it. You'll enjoy your time on your own and your time out with friends. You'll start to feel better about yourself and you'll be more attractive to others, including your ex wife. At this point you may actually question whether you really want her back. But if you do, you will be able to confidently approach her, speak about your marriage and work on bringing it back to life.

So, the answer to "How to get your ex wife back?" is "Self-belief"!

Tuesday 28 December 2010

Can Positive Thinking Get My Boyfriend Back - Positive Thinking Alone Wont

Are you asking yourself "Can positive thinking get my boyfriend back?" There are many merits to positive thinking. Although the thinking itself can't get your boyfriend back, the effects of you being positive and taking positive action for yourself can definitely help you out.

The reasons that men break up with women vary and all situations are different. But if you do want your boyfriend back, then you are definitely capable of doing so. First of all, start focusing your positive thinking on yourself and not your boyfriend. If you were thinking "He will come back to me" or "He will stop seeing the other person he left me for", those are relatively positive thoughts but they are focused on him. Focus your energy on yourself. Think instead, "I am irresistible," or thoughts like this.

If you're not feeling particularly irresistible right now (highly likely), it's because you have taken yourself out of the equation by focusing only on your ex boyfriend. It is time to get working on you. If you've been missing out on sleep and healthy meals, make sure you get back on track.
Eat lots of fruit and vegetables and make sure you're not staying up all

night fretting over the situation. Sleep is a huge contributor to your emotional state. If you get enough you are calm and rational. Once you start getting low on sleep you can become hysterical and even distort certain events in your mind. Also, people who don't get enough sleep are hungrier and heavier and they look haggard.

Start exercising if you haven't done that. This can do wonders for those "positive" feelings. Also, whether you feel like it or not, you need to start getting out with the girls or other friends. And, most importantly, in this phase, do not contact your ex boyfriend. While spending time alone right now can be good for you, do not let it become a sulk session. Take this time to do all of those things you never had time to do when you were in the relationship.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, you will start looking better to others around you. Now is when you can start picturing yourself with your boyfriend again and how wonderful it will be. Think of your relationship without all the previous misunderstandings and fights.

Positive thinking towards yourself paired with imagery about your future relationship can go a long way. As time goes on and you feel more confident, you should be able to make gradual contact with your ex and start communication again. Many people at this stage decide that they don't even want to pursue the relationship anymore. But if you do and if you play it right, you can have your ex boyfriend back in your arms again.

So, if you are asking yourself "Can Positive Thinking Get my boyfriend back?" the answer is yes, it can.

Monday 27 December 2010

Broken Relationship Grief What Stage Are You In

There are five stages to dealing with broken relationship grief, just as there are 5 stages to go through any emotional grief. Understanding where you are at and knowing that what you are feeling is all just part of a natural (though painful) process can help you get through your tough time.
The first stage is denial. This is where you convince yourself (or try to convince yourself) that your breakup didn't really occur. This also manifests itself as you waiting for the person to sit down with you at dinner or pick you up at work. In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn't sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.

The next stage is anger. This can be directed towards the world, at God ("Why me?!), at your ex and at yourself. In this stage you often want to get even with your ex or you act out towards others who try to help you.

Then comes the bargaining stage. This can actually come before you split definitively as well. Here is where you try to get him or her back by making deals or begging the person to return. You could also be bargaining with God or some higher power in this stage. . . "If you bring him/her back to me, I promise I'll go to church every Sunday. . ." This phase includes a great deal of pleading, wishing and praying for things to go back to normal.

The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they're in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.

Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It's important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past. 

Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It's also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.

Sunday 26 December 2010

How to Get a Woman Back If You Really Want Her


So you've lost the love of your life and you want her back. Some will say that it's easy to get a woman back. Others will tell you to just let it go. Of course, it all depends on the situation and both of your personalities but in general, with a bit of instruction and dedication, you can have your woman back in your arms again.

There are many reasons why a woman leaves a man but most of the time, it boils down to two main causes. Either the woman doesn't feel appreciated anymore or she is bored. If you've cheated on the woman you want back, of course she doesn't feel appreciated and you have broken (maybe permanently) the trust she once granted you.

Women can get bored when there is too much predictability in the relationship. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly be going on trips or surprising her with flowers or gifts. It just means that you yourself don't have to do exactly what you've always done. Sometimes when men are aiming to please, they go too far by buying expensive gifts, calling too much or saying the phrase "I love you" constantly. This can actually backfire and scare women off.

Or, it could be the opposite. Maybe you've barely shown any affection at all for the woman in your life and she's had enough. Maybe you've started breaking your promises. Even simple little promises that are broken can start the decay in a relationship. For example, maybe you didn't call when you said you would. Maybe you called off some date that you had with your ex at the very last minute and didn't give a reason. A Woman will not let this type of behaviour go on too long - she will leave you. And chances are, she's spoken to you about it already and you just brushed it off.

Before you decide how to get a woman back, you need to take a look at yourself. What are the mistakes that you made? Do you still have feelings left for your woman or do you just want to get back into your old routine? 

When a relationship has been broken, you need to take some time to step away from it and look at everything objectively. It might not be what you feel like doing, but it is what you really need to do if you plan on winning her back. Precisely because relationships vary significantly from one to the next, men should take some time to analyze the situation (as most women do).

While doing this, make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. After a while, you will come to some clarification and you will be able to see whether you really want to try "how to get a woman back."

5 Steps to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without A War

After a breakup has taken place, it's very common for at least one of the parties to want to win back the other. It may seem like a difficult task, depending on the circumstances, but in general, you can follow five rules to get back together with your ex.

1. Bring your focus back to yourself. You're probably so consumed with how you can get your ex back, you've forgotten to do one of the most essential things in order to increase your chances. You've got to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Take time to go out with friends and family. Join new activities. Do what you need to do to restore your inner balance and to keep your mind off your ex for a while. This will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and make you more attractive.

2. Let your "new" self be revealed. If you've done the first step right, you are now feeling better both inside and out. In reality, the "new you" is really probably at least partly the "old you" that was hidden because of the emotional stress you took on during the breakup. It's important to remember that change is a part of life and plays a role in any relationship as well. When you embrace change, rather than fighting it off, you can reach your goals much faster and with fewer obstacles.
3. Be flexible. If you haven't yet learned this, you need to compromise in any relationship and compromising is a key that could determine whether you will get back together with your ex or not. If you don't have willingness to compromise, you have a tough road ahead of you in any situation.

4. Forgive. Some people find this difficult because they are convinced that the other person is to blame. In relationships, both partners contribute to a break-up. Even when one person cheats on the other, while the person who has been cheated on is not necessarily to blame, there are some reasons that led the other person to cheat. Or if he/she is just unfaithful by nature, then you should not be trying to work out a relationship anyway. Maybe you are the person who did the cheating. In this case, you hope that the other person can forgive you and you also should forgive yourself in order to move on. Because the fact of the matter is, you cannot change the past. Putting the past into perspective when you deal with forgiveness is important. Remember that forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Remembering your mistakes can allow you to prevent them from happening in the future.


5. Develop a plan to get back together with your ex. You can do this on your own or with the help of a counsellor or friend.