Stop Playing Marriage Games Before it’s Too Late!

As difficult as it is to comprehend, couples still play mind games with each other after they're married. To be direct, these marriage games are dangerous to the health of the relationship and should be avoided at all costs. There basically is no place for it in a happy marriage.

Aha! Maybe that's the point. If you or your spouse is forever playing games, then it could be taken as a sign that your marriage isn't as happy as it could be. Or... perhaps the circumstances are worse and your marriage is in real trouble. Even if it is purring along nicely, the very fact that mind games are being played means there is room for progress.

Of course we are talking about mind games up to this point. This may be referred to as manipulation, dishonesty, laying guilt trips or otherwise being deceitful about what's really going on. However, there are other types of marriage games that you can play. What we are talking about here are more focused games that both of you play together. There isn't anything underhand about them and they are designed to help reinforce your relationship.

"Why I love you." These marriage games are just as it sounds. You gaze each other in the eye, and then each spouse takes turns mentioning one explanation why they love the other one. The first few times you play this it may be tricky to name more than a few things that are okay. You both have to concur to not take the game personally f the other one is having a hard time. The more you play the more fun you will have.

"What you mean to me." These marriage games are played the same as the "Why I love you" games, but you each take turns saying what you mean to the other. Just imagine how much better you will make each other feel as you get better at rattling off your lists of why you love and value each other.

"Silence is golden." They say the vast bulk of our communication is non-verbal. You can put this to the test and work on having a healthier relationship at the same time. Go for a preset amount of time where you will agree to talk to each other without using any words. If possible, try doing it for an entire day. Also, choose a block of time where you will be together for the majority of it, or else it won't have the same effect. You may be astounded at just how much you can say without using any words at all.

While there are some marriage games you shouldn't play when you are married (like mind games), there are marriage games that will help you grow closer as a couple. The three games above are a good start, but there is no reason you can't make up games of your own or find other games that people have created for the purpose of a happier loving marriage.

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The True Love Compatibility Test

If you have ever thumbed through a magazine that regularly discusses relationships, whether it is a men's or women's magazine, chances are you have seen various types of quizzes. One of the more common quizzes is the love compatibility test. You answer a few silly questions and then check your answers to get some purportedly deep insight into your relationship.

There is nothing wrong with such quizzes and they can be a entertaining way to pass some time while waiting for a dentist's appointment. As long as you only take them for what they are... a source of amusement... then there is no real harm in taking them. Besides, if you have ever taken them, you have probably noticed one or two things. Firstly... the explanation of your score is so far off that it's out-and-out laughable. Secondly... the explanations are so wide-ranging that they could apply to almost any relationship you have ever been in; good or bad.

It is probably a safe supposition that no love compatibility test in a magazine has ever saved a relationship. They are fun and have their place, but fixing a relationship isn't it; no matter what the maker of the quiz claims. However, there is a test you can use to help make your relationship stronger. You won't find it in any magazine, but not to worry, the questions of this love compatibility test are below.

Before you take the love compatibility test, you need to decide which way works best for you. Will each of you take it separately with a pen and paper, or will you discuss the answers as you take the test? Either way, the main goal is to ignite a good discussion about your relationship. This is important because good communication is one of the fundamentals of a healthy relationship.

1. How do you envision our future? This is a good question because it will show if you have drifted apart, or if you are still together in the things you want from the relationship. It's far better to know where each of you stands instead of making assumptions... but as long as you both envisage you being together, then it's possible to work out the niceties.

2. What do you want from the relationship and life? The purpose of this question is to not only see what the ideal relationship means to each other, but to also see what the higher life questions mean. Over the years people alter, so you may be surprised to learn how your partner answers this question, and vice-versa.

3. What's the one thing you would change? By asking this you will get an idea of where the problem areas of your relationship are. Don't take it personally, but be happy that you get a chance to learn where you can make improvements.

4. What could I do better? Be careful here. You need to make sure there is enough respect before you ask this question. The one answer you don't want to hear is "nothing". The truth is that none of us are perfect and that means there is always room to do better. Your partner should feel secure enough to tell you the truth and you should feel self-assured enough to hear it!

I hope this little love compatibility test helps and you have a long and happy relationship.

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Can This Marriage Be Saved or Not?

If you find that your relationship with your other half is in a lot of trouble, you have probably asked yourself "can this marriage be saved?" No matter how dreadful it may seem, the answer is that it most likely can be saved. Even though the divorce rate is far too high, almost every marriage can be saved as long as the couple is willing to do whatever it takes.

However, there may be some marriages that are not worth saving, at least not in their current state. If you are in a marriage that is mentally or physically abusive, then asking can this marriage be saved is not the right question. Then you need to ask if you can be saved from the relationship. It's not easy, but it is critical that you get out. Perhaps your other half will change, but you need to make sure, and see solid proof before you give them a second chance. Fortunately, such exceptions make up only a small fraction of all marriages.

So, back to the question ‘can this marriage be saved?’ Well, it can only be saved if you want it to be saved. And, the fact that you are reading this is a good indication. However, take some time to seriously reflect upon whether or not you really want it to be saved. It is okay to answer no, so long as you answer honestly and after plenty of contemplation. Either way, something as important as a marriage shouldn't be taken flippantly.

Now, if you have given it enough consideration and decided that you still love your other half and that you would like to stay married, then you are already on the right course to making it work. And it will take effort. It's better to be up front about it, than it is to give you a false impression and say it will be easy. It will take commitment and endeavour, but most things meaningful do.

The first thing you have to do is talk to your other half. You need to let them know that you think your marriage is in difficulty. They will either agree, or have no idea at all. But you need to open the lines of communication on the issue... if you want to move forward and find the answer to ‘can this marriage be saved?’

Note your spouse's reaction as you bring up the subject. Are they surprised, sad, annoyed, hurt or perplexed? Whichever it is, react accordingly. This will be your first chance to show you care about your other half and keeping your marriage together. You have to keep in mind that you are most likely catching your other half off guard so try to be understanding of their feelings.

The next step is to commit to making things work out. You will also need to have your spouse's pledge to do the same thing. Granted... you may have to clarify your reasons for why you're asking ‘can this marriage be saved?’ and let them know you would like it to be saved.

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What Does Marriage Mean To You?

Most people would consider their wedding day as one of the happiest days in their lives. Marriage is often defined as "two people taking a deliberate vow to remain together for life". That's a fair explanation of marriage, but it isn't going to do much for keeping you happy. So, that leads to the question of what does marriage mean?

Perhaps the better resolution is to define the question... what does marriage mean to you? Then ask your spouse (or soon to be spouse) what their definition is as well. This will give each of you a better idea of what the relationship is all about. It can also give you fascinating insights into what your partner thinks about being married, and lead to a significant conversation about the subject.

It is often said that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. The truth is that this statistic is dubious at best, but even if the real number is closer to 30% it means the odds of splitting up is far too high. That doesn't mean a divorce is in your future and that you are doomed from the start, far from it. However, it is a good reason to make sure you practice communicating with one another, and if you have the same ideas and explanation for ‘what does marriage mean’? Then you will further increase your odds of staying happily together.

As mentioned, each of you will probably have a dissimilar definition of what marriage means to you. There is nothing wrong with that, you are both individuals. However, it is a worthwhile exercise to create a common definition of marriage as well. One that you can both agree with and the one that will be what your marriage is about. You can both keep your own definitions, of course, but they should be in agreement with your approved definition.

Let's face it; most couples will never take the time to do this. That's a shame because it helps to bring you even close together. It helps build first-class communication. On top of that, you will both have a much clearer idea of what the answer is to what does marriage mean? Besides, it doesn't really take all that much time when you consider the impact it has on a lifetime of contentment.

Once you have decided what marriage means, you can both then work to defend it. Can you imagine the constructive impact this can have on your relationship? How wonderful! There is no second guessing what the other person really thinks and you will both be made stronger because of it. It doesn't seem too far-fetched to say that if every couple did this, then the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now.

Finally, you will notice that we are talking about coming up with your own personal definition of what marriage means to you as a couple. Sure, the dictionary and legal definitions are important to know, but they can't compare to coming up with your answer to what does marriage mean?

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Will a Marriage Quiz Help Save Your Marriage?

If you read magazines or surf the internet, then you have almost certainly seen a marriage quiz or two. They promise to tell you about the strength of your marriage or how to improve it, and all you have to do is answer a handful of questions. But the real question is whether or not such quizzes can have any kind of an impact on your relationship. When it comes down to it... it's better to have more information about your marriage than less, yet you should remain grounded when you look at the results of any marriage quiz you take.

There is no doubt that these types of quizzes are well-liked. That's why they seem to turn up as frequently as they do; the people who publish them know they will draw more people to their magazine or website. And it's no wonder when you consider that no marriage is perfect, which makes for a compelling reason for people to take such quizzes.

While marriage quizzes may be fun to take, there are times when they may do more damage than good. The problem is brief or incomplete quizzes can't really give you a genuine picture of where your relationship stands. The potential then exists for getting mistaken ideas that can lead to needless stress and insecurity. That's why you should think of most marriage quizzes as nothing more than a form of amusement.

Let's face it; you can't conclude how strong your marriage is by selecting your favourite food, colour or television show. Decent marriages are not based on any of these things, and neither are decent marriage quizzes. Again, you can take any of these quizzes you like, just remember to not take them too seriously. But even the least insightful marriage quiz may have some value.

While the majority of marriage quizzes lack substance, you can still use them to improve your marriage. How can you do this... by using them as a means of starting a conversation? Let your spouse know you just took the marriage quiz and then tell them how useless or stupid you think it was (or whatever other remarks you would like to make). You can then propose they take it too, and then compare your assessment of the quiz. This is a very non-threatening way to start talking about deeper issues. That's because you will be discussing the quiz itself, but because the topic is really marriage, it will be easy to manoeuvre the conversation in that direction.

There is one type of marriage quiz that could be quite useful for most couples. What we're referring to is a quiz that both spouses write together. You each write ten questions or so, and then combine them into one quiz. Then both of you take the quiz and compare answers when you're done. The questions you put on your quiz are entirely up to you. Don't worry about getting the answers right or wrong. The whole purpose is to get both of you talking about your marriage, and if a little quiz can do that, then it's worth taking it. Communication is the biggest single cause of break ups so if this gets you communicating and analysing your relationship in a fun way, it can only be a good thing!

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Are Marriage Seminars Worth Doing?

One of the happiest moments in life is the day you get married. At some point though, reality sets in. You still love each other, but you have to admit that you would like to get on better. Don't worry; what you're going through is typical. However, if you feel things are getting poorer, or would simply like to recall some of those original feelings you had for each other, then marriage seminars may be just the thing you could do with.

If you are not familiar with the idea of marriage seminars, it is basically where experts share their guidance and know-how on the subject of marriage. This may be one specialist or several, and the seminar may last for one evening or run for the course of several days. Generally speaking, most marriage seminars will last for a weekend, but if that's too long for you, you can either go for one day out of that weekend, or search for shorter seminars. Many seminars are based around religion, so be sure you know the viewpoint of the seminar before you go to avoid any surprises.

Marriage seminars, for the most part, give you the same basic payback. You not only get a chance to review your marriage but you will also have a chance to get away from your daily routine. This is a bigger benefit than most people understand because it gives you a new setting in which to take a fresh look at how your marriage is really progressing.

Not being involved in the toil of daily life, even if for a few hours, gives you an entirely different perspective on things. This is a good thing. You will also be there with many other couples, most of which have problems that are very similar to yours. However, you don't have to have any major problems to attend marriage seminars. You can go just for the sole purpose of strengthening your marriage. Regardless of why you are there, the seminar is sure to help in some way.

The experts at marriage seminars have a different way of looking at things. That's great, but a different viewpoint isn't enough to improve your level of wedded bliss. What really matters is that they are able to give you insights into your marriage.

If you are a bit hesitant about attending your first marriage seminar, then you are not alone. Almost every couple is anxious about their first seminar. They may feel self-conscious and unsure of what to expect. However, as they go through it, they start to notice how much it is helping. By the end of the seminar most couples have a deeper love and respect for each other. In fact, it's quite common for couples to start attending marriage seminars whenever they can.

So, what's the catch? Well, these seminars, as supportive as they are still require you to do the actual work of building a better marriage. There are also costs involved, but if you are still in love, or want to fall back in love, then marriage seminars are for you, and the cost is small when compared to your happiness.

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Free Advice on How to Get Your Ex Back Simple Plan

Free advice on how to get your ex back is plentiful online, but how do you know if the advice you’re getting is any good? Who can you trust? I would advise you trust yourself. Find some guidance, read it and listen with your heart not your head. If the guidance 'seems' right, it probably is. If you really want to get back with your ex your heart is the one tool you should be using the most anyway, start there.

Free advice on how to get your ex back can work because... I don't know you, I don't know why you and your ex are through and I don't know how long you've been apart. What I do know is that no matter how the problems show up there is almost always one main cause...not being able to communicate. You've probably heard that yourself over and over again. You may even be sick of hearing it. But it's true and until you and your partner learn how to truly listen to each other you will continue to struggle, even after you've gotten back together.

Don't make it hard, it's really not. It's just so easy to fall into bad habits. Learn how to identify those habits and you can change them. That way you can be happier in all areas of your life, not just your romantic relationships.  The best way to change bad communication habits, believe it or not, is to take a good long look at the type of person you are.

Try to pinpoint areas of insecurity and doubt. These are the parts of you that make it difficult for you to truly feel worthy and these are the parts of you that make it easy for you to treat your partner with less than stellar care. You might not really feel worthy of being loved so subconsciously you push away the person who loves you.  You may feel (deep down inside) that you need to push them away before they leave you. If you are doing this you probably don't realize it. Accepting this and getting help for it can make a huge difference in your relationships and the change can be obvious to your ex, that is great free advice on how to get your ex back.

Please don't dismiss any of this advice just becomes it seems too simple. In reality it's not simple to change deep seated habits. It will take time, attention, and a strong desire. But acknowledging these bad habits and making an effort to fix them will allow you to become a much better person.

Good luck on your quest to get your ex back. No matter what the problems were before, or how long the two of you have been apart it's never too late to take control and make things work out the way you really want them to be.  It really is achievable to do if you're willing to use this free advice on how to get your ex back, don't dismiss it just because it seems too simple.

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