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Thursday 30 December 2010

Free Advice on How to Get Your Ex Back


Are you looking for free advice on how to get your ex back? Well, you're in luck because you can definitely find a lot of it out there on the internet. Almost everyone has gone through a damaged relationship at one point or another and many are eager to share what they did to cope or win back their loved ones. Strategies differ from one person to the next and what works for someone else may not work for you. But there are some common factors that many experts agree on.

First of all, when you have broken up, you need to stay broken up for a while. This means as little contact as possible and of course, no begging, pleading and promising to make things better. Take some time off. It is what both of you need. If you do have to see each other because of unavoidable circumstances such as work or the kids, be friendly but do not get involved in any conversations that stray towards your past relationship.

Next, take this time off to focus on yourself. Stop thinking about your ex and how to win them back. Instead, think about how you can improve yourself both inside and out. If you've let yourself slide because of the relationship stresses, this is the time to put yourself back together. Make sure you are eating right and not drinking too much alcohol or abusing any other substances. You definitely want to be taking time out to exercise. Now that you are single, you have that time. Get involved in certain groups or volunteer programs. And make sure that you get out of the house with some friends every once in a while, even if you don't feel like it. Finally, getting enough sleep is crucial to your health. People who get enough sleep don’t tend to eat more and be overweight and look older.

What is the purpose of this type of free advice on how to get your ex back? It is all geared towards getting yourself back first. Chances are you've lost a little bit of that during your relationship struggles. Once you've re-established your self confidence and self esteem, you will be ready to once again approach your ex with the intention of getting back together. How long does it take? This also varies but generally you can tell when you're ready because getting him/her back will suddenly not seem so extremely urgent.

Then and only then should you try to make contact with your ex. Invite him or her for coffee or something that doesn't require too much time or commitment on either side. From here on is where the free advice on how to get your ex back will start to vary again. But once you've gotten to this point, you may be able to rely on your own heart and new-found confidence to guide you through.

Wednesday 29 December 2010

How to Get Your Ex Wife Back With Self-belief

"How to get your ex wife back?" Do you find yourself asking yourself this same question over and over again? You're not alone. Thousands of people are going through divorce every day and asking themselves the same thing. The good news is that you can get back with your ex wife if you have just one key ingredient.

There really is only one thing that you need in order to bring your ex wife back to you and that is self-belief. Chances are that if you're at the point of asking yourself "How to get your ex wife back?" then you are pretty low in the self-belief ranking scale at the moment. As you go through marital problems and fear the loss of your wife, your self-belief can really take a nose dive, even if you used to be someone who was really sure of yourself.

Your self-belief helps you in many ways. It can help you get hired. It can attract someone to you (if you're not over-confident) and it definitely can help you get your ex wife back. Self-belief will help you in all walks of life and having it will keep your marriage healthy once you are back in your wife’s arms.

If you lack self-belief, you have low self-esteem which is why you are wondering if you can really get your wife back or not. A confident person would realize that he can. Your low self-esteem will tell you that you are not good enough or that your wife can easily find someone better. Once you have this in your head, you either give up or you start doing desperate things to try to get your wife back which, of course, only makes things worse. What usually happens in this case is that your ex will start to feel sorry for you. It is difficult at that stage to change her notion of you. But you can do it.

Rather than sulking and plotting how you are going to win back your wife, start concentrating on yourself. You need a spiritual make-over. Make sure you are eating right, exercising and spending time with friends. Get out even if you don't feel like it. Fake it 'til you make it and do not contact your ex. This is your time to get your self-esteem back.

Pretty soon, you'll see that you are no longer faking it. You'll enjoy your time on your own and your time out with friends. You'll start to feel better about yourself and you'll be more attractive to others, including your ex wife. At this point you may actually question whether you really want her back. But if you do, you will be able to confidently approach her, speak about your marriage and work on bringing it back to life.

So, the answer to "How to get your ex wife back?" is "Self-belief"!

Tuesday 28 December 2010

Can Positive Thinking Get My Boyfriend Back - Positive Thinking Alone Wont

Are you asking yourself "Can positive thinking get my boyfriend back?" There are many merits to positive thinking. Although the thinking itself can't get your boyfriend back, the effects of you being positive and taking positive action for yourself can definitely help you out.

The reasons that men break up with women vary and all situations are different. But if you do want your boyfriend back, then you are definitely capable of doing so. First of all, start focusing your positive thinking on yourself and not your boyfriend. If you were thinking "He will come back to me" or "He will stop seeing the other person he left me for", those are relatively positive thoughts but they are focused on him. Focus your energy on yourself. Think instead, "I am irresistible," or thoughts like this.

If you're not feeling particularly irresistible right now (highly likely), it's because you have taken yourself out of the equation by focusing only on your ex boyfriend. It is time to get working on you. If you've been missing out on sleep and healthy meals, make sure you get back on track.
Eat lots of fruit and vegetables and make sure you're not staying up all

night fretting over the situation. Sleep is a huge contributor to your emotional state. If you get enough you are calm and rational. Once you start getting low on sleep you can become hysterical and even distort certain events in your mind. Also, people who don't get enough sleep are hungrier and heavier and they look haggard.

Start exercising if you haven't done that. This can do wonders for those "positive" feelings. Also, whether you feel like it or not, you need to start getting out with the girls or other friends. And, most importantly, in this phase, do not contact your ex boyfriend. While spending time alone right now can be good for you, do not let it become a sulk session. Take this time to do all of those things you never had time to do when you were in the relationship.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, you will start looking better to others around you. Now is when you can start picturing yourself with your boyfriend again and how wonderful it will be. Think of your relationship without all the previous misunderstandings and fights.

Positive thinking towards yourself paired with imagery about your future relationship can go a long way. As time goes on and you feel more confident, you should be able to make gradual contact with your ex and start communication again. Many people at this stage decide that they don't even want to pursue the relationship anymore. But if you do and if you play it right, you can have your ex boyfriend back in your arms again.

So, if you are asking yourself "Can Positive Thinking Get my boyfriend back?" the answer is yes, it can.

Monday 27 December 2010

Broken Relationship Grief What Stage Are You In

There are five stages to dealing with broken relationship grief, just as there are 5 stages to go through any emotional grief. Understanding where you are at and knowing that what you are feeling is all just part of a natural (though painful) process can help you get through your tough time.
The first stage is denial. This is where you convince yourself (or try to convince yourself) that your breakup didn't really occur. This also manifests itself as you waiting for the person to sit down with you at dinner or pick you up at work. In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn't sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.

The next stage is anger. This can be directed towards the world, at God ("Why me?!), at your ex and at yourself. In this stage you often want to get even with your ex or you act out towards others who try to help you.

Then comes the bargaining stage. This can actually come before you split definitively as well. Here is where you try to get him or her back by making deals or begging the person to return. You could also be bargaining with God or some higher power in this stage. . . "If you bring him/her back to me, I promise I'll go to church every Sunday. . ." This phase includes a great deal of pleading, wishing and praying for things to go back to normal.

The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they're in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.

Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It's important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past. 

Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It's also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.

Sunday 26 December 2010

How to Get a Woman Back If You Really Want Her


So you've lost the love of your life and you want her back. Some will say that it's easy to get a woman back. Others will tell you to just let it go. Of course, it all depends on the situation and both of your personalities but in general, with a bit of instruction and dedication, you can have your woman back in your arms again.

There are many reasons why a woman leaves a man but most of the time, it boils down to two main causes. Either the woman doesn't feel appreciated anymore or she is bored. If you've cheated on the woman you want back, of course she doesn't feel appreciated and you have broken (maybe permanently) the trust she once granted you.

Women can get bored when there is too much predictability in the relationship. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly be going on trips or surprising her with flowers or gifts. It just means that you yourself don't have to do exactly what you've always done. Sometimes when men are aiming to please, they go too far by buying expensive gifts, calling too much or saying the phrase "I love you" constantly. This can actually backfire and scare women off.

Or, it could be the opposite. Maybe you've barely shown any affection at all for the woman in your life and she's had enough. Maybe you've started breaking your promises. Even simple little promises that are broken can start the decay in a relationship. For example, maybe you didn't call when you said you would. Maybe you called off some date that you had with your ex at the very last minute and didn't give a reason. A Woman will not let this type of behaviour go on too long - she will leave you. And chances are, she's spoken to you about it already and you just brushed it off.

Before you decide how to get a woman back, you need to take a look at yourself. What are the mistakes that you made? Do you still have feelings left for your woman or do you just want to get back into your old routine? 

When a relationship has been broken, you need to take some time to step away from it and look at everything objectively. It might not be what you feel like doing, but it is what you really need to do if you plan on winning her back. Precisely because relationships vary significantly from one to the next, men should take some time to analyze the situation (as most women do).

While doing this, make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. After a while, you will come to some clarification and you will be able to see whether you really want to try "how to get a woman back."

5 Steps to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without A War

After a breakup has taken place, it's very common for at least one of the parties to want to win back the other. It may seem like a difficult task, depending on the circumstances, but in general, you can follow five rules to get back together with your ex.

1. Bring your focus back to yourself. You're probably so consumed with how you can get your ex back, you've forgotten to do one of the most essential things in order to increase your chances. You've got to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Take time to go out with friends and family. Join new activities. Do what you need to do to restore your inner balance and to keep your mind off your ex for a while. This will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and make you more attractive.

2. Let your "new" self be revealed. If you've done the first step right, you are now feeling better both inside and out. In reality, the "new you" is really probably at least partly the "old you" that was hidden because of the emotional stress you took on during the breakup. It's important to remember that change is a part of life and plays a role in any relationship as well. When you embrace change, rather than fighting it off, you can reach your goals much faster and with fewer obstacles.
3. Be flexible. If you haven't yet learned this, you need to compromise in any relationship and compromising is a key that could determine whether you will get back together with your ex or not. If you don't have willingness to compromise, you have a tough road ahead of you in any situation.

4. Forgive. Some people find this difficult because they are convinced that the other person is to blame. In relationships, both partners contribute to a break-up. Even when one person cheats on the other, while the person who has been cheated on is not necessarily to blame, there are some reasons that led the other person to cheat. Or if he/she is just unfaithful by nature, then you should not be trying to work out a relationship anyway. Maybe you are the person who did the cheating. In this case, you hope that the other person can forgive you and you also should forgive yourself in order to move on. Because the fact of the matter is, you cannot change the past. Putting the past into perspective when you deal with forgiveness is important. Remember that forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Remembering your mistakes can allow you to prevent them from happening in the future.


5. Develop a plan to get back together with your ex. You can do this on your own or with the help of a counsellor or friend.

Wednesday 22 December 2010

Coping with a Relationship Break up May Be Easier than You Think


Coping with a relationship break up is one of the hardest things that most people find themselves forced to do but it is also a very common experience so luckily you can find a lot of good advice out there. What works for someone else may not work for you but just seeing other people that have gone through the same pain and survived can be reassuring.

The first thing that you need to do is accept that the relationship has indeed failed . . . at least for now. While there is a possibility of picking up the pieces again later on, for now, you shouldn't be thinking about that. Instead, do not try to contact your ex if at all possible. Many split couples have kids involved so you will have to have some contact for their sake. But keep it to a minimum.

Once you've accepted the fact that you are really on your own now, you need to make sure that you are focusing on yourself. Take time to do those things that you never had time for while you were together. While it's important to go out with friends or family, you also want to spend some time alone. Reflect on your past relationship and how the break-up evolved. It is really never just the fault of one person in the partnership. Both parties contribute to a split.

Making sure that you take care of yourself is a huge part of coping with a relationship break up. You definitely should be eating the right foods, exercising and getting enough sleep. Try to stick to a balanced diet with lots of fruit, vegetables and fibre. Exercising does not have to be extremely rigorous but many people find that a good workout really helps them get all their stress and anger out. It also increases endorphins in your body which make you feel better. If you dread exercising, just go for a walk every day. Pick some form of activity that you can do consistently. Finally, getting the right amount of sleep is crucial. Well-rested people look better and feel better. Those who lack in sleep look worn out, and feel edgy, hungrier and depressed.

When you are taking care of yourself, your self-esteem increases and you are more attractive to others. Once you are feeling more confident, you can reassess your situation and ask yourself if you think it's worth it to try to mend your relationship. Some people decide that it's not. Others will give it a try and with their new and improved self-esteem, your odds are good although of course, a lot depends on the other person.

Coping with a relationship break up has a lot to do with mending your soul and spirit. If you can stick to a plan and rely on friends and family to help you out, you will find yourself at the end of the tunnel.

Monday 20 December 2010

5 Tips For Dealing With Unrequited Love


Sometimes, when we love someone, they do not love us back. It can be incredibly difficult to deal with this kind of love, as your feelings are strong but unreciprocated. If you are dealing with unrequited love, you must take steps to get over those feelings. If you fail to do so, you can deal with the pain of that heartache for years. These five tips will help you to get over this unrequited love and to regain control of your emotions.

Write About your Feelings

Writing about your feelings is a simple and easy way to deal with love that is not reciprocated. Writing down these feelings is a way for you to express your frustrations and issues. People who deal with unrequited love feel as if the person they love does not listen. By writing these things down, you can feel as though you are getting your point across to someone who is paying attention to your feelings and needs.

Keep an Open Mind

It is important for you to keep an open mind when dealing with someone who does not love you back. The person may have a change of heart, and may begin to have feelings for you. They may also continue the path that they are on. You need to take both situations into consideration. Either situation is possible. You should not plan for one or the other.

Date New People

While your heart may be somewhere else, you can still date other people. Going on small dates with others may help you to lessen the pain of the unrequited love. You may realize that you feelings for that person are not as strong as you once thought they were.

Get Set Up on Blind Dates

Getting set up on a blind date can be an exciting and exhilarating experience. This is perfect for those who cannot get over an unrequited love. The blind date will not find you the love of your life. It is simply a fun experience that can help to take your mind off of the person you want that does not want you.

Write a List of What You Need in a Relationship

Write down a simple list that lists all of the things that you are looking for in a relationship. Compare the person you love to that list. This will often show you that the person you love is not giving you what you need.

It can be heard to open up about your feelings and emotions. It can hurt to think or even speak about the unrequited love. It is important for you to open up about your feelings, and about your needs. These can be key actions that will help you to get over your issues. By keeping an open mind and meeting new people, you can slowly wash away those feelings. If you are dealing with unrequited love, you need to push yourself to ensure that you are not stuck on that person forever.

5 Ways To Take Your Mind Off Of Your Ex After A Breakup


When you break up with someone, you will find that it is hard for you to take your mind off of them. It is always hard to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to make a conscious effort to focus your mind on other things to stop thinking about them. There are 5 major ways for you to do so.

Have a Girls/Boys Night

Having a night with your friends is the best way to get your mind off of someone. Hanging out with the girls (or boys) will help to bring you into a better mood. It will help you to focus on other activities. You need this distraction to take your mind off of your ex.

Give Yourself a Trip to the Spa

Spas are incredibly relaxing and peaceful. Going to a spa is an easy way to get your mind off of someone. You can clear your mind of all thoughts when you are at the spa. Simply focus on the treatment that you are receiving, and the relaxation you feel. While it may only be for a short time, the relaxation can be key to your long-term effort to get over your ex.

Cleanse Your Life (get rid of everything that reminds you of them)

You cannot take your mind off of someone if you are constantly reminded of them. You need to get rid of everything that you have that reminds you of them. Some people stow away all of these belongings. Others burn them ceremoniously. Choose the method that will help you to get your mind off of the person as fast as possible.

Go Out!

If you are trying to get your mind off of an ex, you need to get out of the house. If you stay in your house, you will simply wallow in self pity, thinking of the person that you used to be with. Going out, whether it be with friends or by yourself, will keep you from thinking about what could’ve been.

Travel

If you have the money to do so, this is the perfect time to travel. When you travel, you are caught up in the excitement of the new place that you visit. Traveling is an easy and exciting way to take your mind off of someone.

You need to give yourself something to think about when you are trying to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to do things that will consume your attention and focus. Spa trips, downtown trips, and travel trips can be an easy way to do so. These 5 tips simply give you different ways to take your focus and attention away from your ex.

Friday 17 December 2010

Top 5 Ways to Get Over a Broken Heart

When people get into a relationship, they put their entire heart into the relationship. They put all of their emotions into that relationship. When the relationship ends, they feel stuck. It can be hard to figure out how to deal with the broken heart that comes from the end of that relationship. If you are trying to get over a broken heart, you need to make a conscious effort to heal. While every person will find success with different methods, these 5 tips can help you to get over a broken heart as fast as possible.

Have a Rebound

Some people see a rebound as a small escape from their overall heartbreak. Others see a rebound as an opportunity to be done with their broken heart altogether. This rebound can be a great short-term or long-term way to get over someone who has broken your heart.

Call Old Flames

Talking to people that you used to be in love with is a great way to mend a broken heart. Talking to people that you used to know will simply help to remind you that you have dealt with heartbreak before, and that you prevailed. It can be a good confidence boost for anyone dealing with a broken heart.

Treat Yourself

If you are dealing with a broken heart, treat yourself to some of your favourite things. Splurging on some of your favourite items, activities, or foods will help to give you some enjoyment during this rough time.

Surround Yourself with Friends

If you are dealing with a broken heart, you need to surround yourself with loved ones. Hang out with friends and family more than usual. Being around people who love you is a great way to slowly get over someone who does not love you anymore.

Talk to a Counsellor or Therapist

At first, the idea of talking to a counsellor or therapist for a broken hearts seems to be a little much for the situation. In all honesty, these professionals can seriously help those with a broken heart. Therapists simply help you to work out the issues that you have. You can talk openly and freely with these therapists. Many feel as though they open up more to them, as they know that they will not judge them. This back-and-forth conversation with a stranger will help you to deal with your broken heart.

It is important for you to realize that each and every person will find success in a different way. While some may find that a rebound is the best way to get over a broken heart, others will find success when they surround themselves with friends. You need to think about your own personality to choose the best method for your life.

Thursday 16 December 2010

5 Tips For When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together

Some people end their relationship with a clean break. Both parties agree that they should not be together. Others will simply end the relationship on their terms. While they are done with the relationship, the other person will still want to stay together. This relationship can be difficult, as the person who ended the relationship must deal with the ex who wanted to stay together. There will come a time when your ex wants to get back together. Instead of making an irrational decision, follow these 5 tips. These tips will help you to make the best decision.

Consider Your First Relationship

If your ex wants to get together again, you need to consider the relationship that you had. Why did you break up in the first place? You need to consider the end of your first relationship before you consider another one. If the issue is something that cannot be repaired, you should not even bother with a reconciliation attempt.

Consider Your Life Now

You need to make sure that you consider your life now when considering getting back together with an ex. You may be willing to give it a shot, but do you have the time? Are you in a place in your life where you can handle a full relationship? The answers to these questions will help you in your final decision making process.

Be Patient and Kind

It is important for you to be patient and kind to your ex. They are dealing with a lot of emotions. You want to make sure that you do not make these emotions stronger. Be patient with them and listen to what they have to say. This conversation may be useful to you, as it may help you to make up your mind.

Talk To your Friends

Talk to your friends about the situation. Talk to them about how your ex feels, how you feel, and all of the different factors that will affect your decision. It will be good for you to say these things out loud to someone, as it can be helpful to talk it through with someone.

Make the Decision On Your Own

In the end, you need to make sure that you are making the decision on your own. You should not make this decision based on your ex, or on your friends. Take yourself and your own feelings into consideration. This should be the basis for your final decision.

You need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself. While you should take the words of your ex and your friends into consideration, you need to make the decision on your own. Think about what is best for you when your ex wants to get back together. When you think about your best interests, you will always make the right decision.

Tuesday 14 December 2010

4 Easy Steps to Getting Over a Break Up

Author: Dave Islington

When dealing with getting over a break up we often dwell on things we can't change. There is no point going over and over in your mind things you cannot change. You need to focus on what you can change. There are several things you can do to deal with getting over a break up but in this article we will deal with the four best and least painful ways.

Let it All Go

Deal with your emotions, don't bottle anything up. If you feel angry, let it loose at the gym or in the garden on some project that would benefit from your aggression. Do not let it loose on people. If you are upset, have a good cry, it's all part of the healing process. If you are frustrated, write your thoughts down, you will be amazed how better you feel after. Keep a journal or let rip on a forum or blog. But the main thing is to let your emotions out; they are all part of the grieving process.

Get Out and About

You need to force yourself to go out and socialise. It won't be easy for some people but it is necessary. Spend time with people that love you, good friends and family, anyone that cares about you and will help you deal with this part of the process. Go out to restaurants, wine bars, clubs anything to get you out the house and with people that care about you.

Explore Your Freedom

Meeting new people is something you will have to do eventually so why not give it a go now. You never know what might happen and think positive; you may meet some really great people. I'm not talking about dating but pressure free conversations with new people. New people will be more interesting than the people you already know and will act as a great distraction from the getting over a break up feelings you are experiencing.

Allow Yourself Time

Everyone is different and so are the circumstances that create rifts between people. Give yourself adequate time to deal properly with getting over a break up. It's not easy and there are no easy answers sometimes but trying to do this quickly may cause more damage than good. You need to build your future on sound emotional foundations so that you can deal with anything that life throws at you in the future.

When I was growing up in London, England the old Cockneys used to say ‘what doesn't kill you, makes you strong' and getting over a break up is exactly what they mean. You fold or you get on with life and grow in character and become a better person because of it. We learn in life from every event that befalls us. We tend to learn more from the painful ones so use this negative event to be a positive and stronger person. Misery or happiness can be around any corner so we have no choice but to keep walking.

I hope this has helped and as we say in London... ‘be lucky'!

5 Ways To Write Getting Back Together Letters


There are a million different ways to try to win back your ex. One of the best methods to getting back with an ex is to write getting back together letters. These letters can help your ex to better understand your emotions. You may be able to talk them into giving your relationship a second chance through these emotions. If you are thinking about writing a letter to your ex, you have a few different options and methods to choose from.

Write Emails

If you are trying to get your point across to your ex as fast as possible, use email messages for your letters. These messages will reach your ex faster than any other method. There is an issue with this method, however, as some exes may see an email as impersonal. Be sure to be sincere and thoughtful in your message, as this will overshadow the impersonal nature of an email.

Write Hand-Written Notes

If you want to be romantic, write a hand-written note. These notes are seen as incredibly thoughtful and romantic. Your ex may see these as thoughtful and romantic because you took the time to make something for them. Handwritten notes are also seen as more personal. This could be a signal to your ex that you are taking time out of your life to get them back into your life.

Give With Gifts

Some people see gifts as thoughtful and cute. Others see gifts as unnecessary bribes. If your ex is someone who enjoys gifts, consider a gift with the letter. This small gift simply shows your ex that you are thinking about them. It shows that you are interested, and that you’ve paid attention to the things that they would enjoy.

Deliver Without Gifts

It can be easy to throw the kitchen sink at your ex. You want to give them everything, and show them all of your emotions at once. You may want to consider avoiding gifts with the letters. Use the letters as a starting point. If your ex is responding to these letters, gifts may be an important and powerful next step. By starting without gifts, you are getting a feel for their thoughts on the situation as a whole.

Use Song Lyrics

If you want to try something different and unique, compose a letter that is comprised of nothing but song lyrics. This is a time-consuming project that will show your ex that you are taking your tie to be thoughtful and unique as you try to win them back.

You need to take your ex’s personality into consideration when you choose your method. The method should speak to their emotions. While some will see an e-mail as impersonal, others will see it as thoughtful. While some will see a gift as a bribe, others will see it as a nice gesture. Choose the method that is the best communication method for you and your ex. If you are going to write getting back together letters, you will want to make sure that they hear your message loud and clear.

Monday 6 December 2010

Marriage Guidance – True Love Is Always Worth Fighting For!

Author: Dave Islington

If your relationship is worth saving you need to act fast. A happy and long lasting relationship is the best we can achieve in this life emotionally. Every effort we make to do this is never a waste of time if we find true love in the end.

The circumstances of your marriage breakdown will dictate how hard this process is going to be. However, no matter what the circumstances are all relationships can be saved with respect, love, a great strategy and positive action! You may have to swallow your pride and seek marriage guidance from a professional counsellor. If you find this difficult there are online relationship therapists that are more discrete and many people find them easier to deal with. But, don't use those dating websites for reconciliation advice. Don't forget they benefit from people splitting up not getting back together.

The first thing you need to work out is how much you want your ex back. If you are not sure you will not be successful. As we know in life a half hearted attempt is no attempt at all. To put in the effort needed to get your lover back and rekindle that glorious flame of passion that we all crave in life, you will have to be sure this is the person for you. Apart from the fact that you will be wasting a whole load of your life, it's cruel to your lover to win their heart and realise you don't really love them but just didn't like being dumped.

You marriage is never going to work if you don't both really love each other. There has to have been love their in the first place for you to rekindle it. So ask yourself before embarking on this love quest, did your partner truly love you before your relationship deteriorated? You know the old cliché about burning embers, well… it's very true and there has to be an ember for rekindling to be successful. If you can get over your issues and the embers are there then the flames of passion will rise once you remove whatever is dampening them down.

True love takes time and you need to become friends again first before you can move on to full on love and passion. Sometimes what happens in relationships is that a couple still love each other deep down but like all friendships, there are deep issues and rifts that they need to thrash out intellectually. No bickering, no shouting and no aggression will solve this only adult and intellectual debate. The deep love you have for each other will resurface once you repair your friendship for each other. Your lover has to be your best friend as well and soul mate or your relationship will not stand the test of time.

You need to do a lot of adult talking on neutral ground so arrange baby sitters if necessary and spend some time together in a calm and neutral environment. Find out what you both want from the relationship and most important what you don't want. There are solutions and compromises all through our life and we need to get skilled at managing ourselves in this way. If you truly love each other you will aim to please and make one another happy without any obvious reward. But when you get it right the rewards are huge and you can face anything life throws at you if you have a strong and loving relationship.
Don't be afraid to seek relationship or marriage guidance, true love is always worth fighting for!

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Sunday 28 November 2010

Seeking Out Advice on How to Mend a Broken Relationship

Dealing with how to mend a broken relationship can be difficult. You may not know how to fix the relationship. Often, you might not even know where to begin. You need to start looking for advice on how to mend a broken relationship from multiple sources. Having advice from numerous sources is the ideal way to make sure that you are doing what you can to fix your broken relationship. You need to talk to your relatives and your friends about the circumstances. You also need to search for help online from professionals who may be able to help you.

Talk to Relatives

Relatives can be some of the best people to talk to for advice for broken relationships. Your family, collectively, has been through a lot. It is nearly guaranteed that some people in your family have gone through broken relationships.

While some may have failed, others may have worked. You can talk to people who know what did not work, and what ruined their broken relationship. You can also talk to people who have had success to see what worked for them. You can easily see both sides to see what steps to avoid, and what steps to focus on. Relatives can easily put you on the right path to how to mend a broken relationship.

Talk to Friends

It is important to talk to friends about all of your issues. Friends can be there to pick you up, and to make you feel better. Friends can also be a good sounding board for any idea you might have about fixing your relationship. They will be able to tell you if they think that your idea is good, or that it is something that will not work.

Friends may have also gone through a similar process. They may be able to tell you what worked for them, and what didn't work for them.

Seek Help from Professionals

You should also seek help on or offline when looking for advice for how to mend a broken relationship. Many professionals will use the Internet as a way to reach people. They will put out free advice about how to mend a broken relationship. Use this advice as a way to see another angle on your relationship. This advice may be the way to get your relationship straightened out.

In Summary

Relatives are always a great resource for advice for broken relationships. They can often give the best advice because they have had more life experiences. They have had to deal with more, and can help you find the way. Friends are also a good place to seek out advice. They will listen, and will be able to see your situation in a more personal way. You also need to seek out advice for broken relationships from on and off line resources. This professional help may give you the tips that you need. You need advice on how to mend a broken relationship from as many places as you can find to stand a better chance of success.

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Thursday 18 November 2010

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

I am assuming that if you are asking the question ‘how can you mend a broken heart?' that you are still in love with your ex. What you need to work out is do you fight to get them back or lick your wounds and soldier on without them?


The first thing you need to do is work out your own feelings. Are you hurting because you have split from your partner or are you just missing having someone? We often pine for things to be as they were because we are all a little insecure and some more than others. Some people just hate change of any kind. This is not a reason to stay in a relationship as many people find out. How many times have you spoken with friends who left a relationship after many years and now wonder why they stood it as long as they did?


If you are hurting because you are genuinely in love and this person is the one for you then the next question is do you fight to win them back? With the right strategy and determination you can almost certainly win anyone over. They loved you once and that doesn't go away, circumstances or changes in your life can alter things and put a strain on your relationship but there are all sorts of reasons and the reasons are as individual and unique as each of you.


The best way to mend a broken heart is by getting the person who broke your heart, back in your life. Even if you have done something outrageous like had an affair well… that just makes it more of a challenge when deciding to win your partner back. No matter what has gone on, there are things you can do to win your partner back and make them fall in love with you again. There are many ways of doing this and I can't go through them all in this article but below are a few tips to get you in the right place to win your lover back and mend your broken heart.


Firstly, don't hassle them or keep texting, let them have some space and let the dust settle. Emotions run high when a relationship has collapsed so be patient and have some self control. This will show how adult you are and help win respect. All good relationships are built on mutual respect and it is vital that this is maintained no matter what happens or how hard it becomes. Especially if you were the cause of the split and your partner is angry. If this is the case, this part will take longer because you are not going to get anywhere until you ex calms down.


Let your ex know that although you are not together and not even communicating that you still care and are there for them should they need anyone, no strings attached. You can do this with flowers and a note or writing a letter. Do not send flowers to their work place. These should be sent to their home. Don't text or wait outside work to tell them this as this is known as stalking and will make matters worse. You need to become their friend again and work from there onto a relationship.


We give our heart to someone because of how great they make us feel and we stay for the same reason. If that person stops making us feel great, we either wonder why we bother or look for someone that does make us feel great. You need to get back in to a position where you can make them feel great again. This won't be easy but is possible if you give it your all. So… how can you mend a broken heart? Simple… win your love back again!

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Wednesday 17 November 2010

Is It Too Late To Get Back Together With Your Ex?

There is no time limit to reconciliation as we know from history and factual literature; there is no time limit to love. People have got back together after years apart and had great and long relationships. Each situation is different but the best way to get back together with your ex is to work on it right away.

The last thing you want is for your ex to meet someone else or get used to being independent. These are both things that can happen and you will have to deal with that should it happen. So you need to work on reconciliation straightaway but you do need to give it time at the beginning as everything is too raw and emotions run high.

You need to be cool and let the dust settle or you will never make it back together, I know this sounds like a contradiction but there is no other way. They can't miss you if you are always there and they need to miss you a little for you to get back together. Plus all the emotional noise needs to quieten down before you can both think rationally and sort out what went wrong.

This will give you both time to reflect and decide whether you are made for each other or if you just went along the relationship train track as many people do. You met, you went out, you moved in together and then what? This is what happens to most relationships and it's because you aren't aiming towards something. We are as humans programmed to head towards something. To be building something or creating something depending on your personality. What happens if two parts of the train pull in different directions? It crashes!

So how do you get back together with your ex and get back on the relationship train and stay on it. Only if you are both pulling in the same direction will this or any partnership ever work. So you need to show your ex that getting back together is the best thing for you both and that you are both heading in the same direction. That you support them and that you are always there for them, no matter what.

Your time apart will give you time to work out… what is the next stop if you both get back on the train? Relationships go through stages and you have to follow these stages and grow together through them. Would the next step for you be children? If so are you both going to want them? How many and how soon? There is much to think about with relationships and the relationship train never stops for long. If you both have a future goal that involves you both and both support that goal… you will make it together.

So you need to work out what your ex wants the future to hold for them and whoever they spend their life with. Because… if you don't fit that profile, then you will not be the one on the train, someone else will. If being just a good friend for a while helps you find this out then so be it. As an old friend you might find out more about your ex's needs and wants than as someone trying to get back in their life.

Once you find out where they are heading and what they want from a long term relationship you can get back together with your ex and get back on the train and enjoy a long and exciting journey together. It's so worth the effort. Good luck!

Friday 12 November 2010

How to Impress a Girl and Win Her Heart

Author: Dave Islington

Impressing a girl isn't an easy thing to achieve sometimes. Some men find this to be a real challenge. But with a little tuition and a large chunk of determination you can learn how to impress a girl and win her heart.

First of all if you want to impress a girl you need to realise if you haven't already that women are very different to us. You need to understand at least a little of what makes them tick. They are not impressed by fast driving or big cars. They are not impressed by any kind of macho man antics leading to aggressive behaviour. Women like fluffy and nice, something we don't really understand.

So you need to understand fluffy and nice but still keep your manhood in tact. This of course is a challenge for most men. A good example is crying; women like to see a man cry because it shows they care and have a softer side. But it has to be something serious and touching for the crying to be taken this way. If a man cries because someone at work is giving him a hard time; that's different and just means you're a wimp and you lose their respect and this definitely will not impress a girl.

You do need to be strong or at least appear to be strong in character and moral fibre. In heterosexuals this all stems from nature and the fact that we are deep down looking for a mate, someone to bear children with. So that we can produce the healthiest baby's, nature makes sure we are attracted to strength, health and symmetry. Hence why illness is not attractive, even Cameron Diaz looks rough with the flu!

So if you want to impress a girl you need to be aware of what is going on in the courtship and how much nature plays a part in you being attracted to each other or not. If you are attracted to someone chemical reactions take place in the body causing you to give off pheromones and she will do the same. Some people believe that because its nature there isn't any way of controlling it or influencing it. If that was true people wouldn't fall in love with people that have saved them or people they have experienced a trauma with.

History is littered with people that find themselves attracted to someone they got to know through circumstance. Work related marriages wouldn't happen and misdemeanours at the office Christmas party wouldn't get so many people in trouble. People do grow into relationships so it is possible for us to influence nature and impress a girl sufficiently enough to make them fall in love with us.

What you need to do is use nature to impress a girl. You need to show strength, loyalty, sensitivity and respect in bucket loads. With strength I mean strength of character not macho muscular strength. Show you can organise your life and take care of yourself and her. Show you are a loyal person so that she feels secure and safe with you. Show you care about the environment, the country, people, family and most of all… her. Always, always ask her opinion when deciding on anything you are going to do together.

Be courteous at all times and be polite to her friends, colleagues and family. Always offer to help when she is struggling with something but not otherwise. Too much pandering is a turn off for most modern women. Most modern women are proud of the fact that they are independent and have their own career or income. Respect this fact and show them you are there if they need you but that you know they are more than capable of looking after themselves. If you can master these simple things, you can easily impress a girl and win her heart.

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Tuesday 9 November 2010

How To Keep Your Man Happy By Being Confident

Author: Dave Islington

Most men do not like needy women or women with low self esteem. Men don't have the patience to keep reassuring someone nor do they notice the signs that someone needs a confidence boost. It's all a bit complicated and a bit of a turn off for most men. So if you need to know how to keep your man happy it's by being confident.

Unfortunately, there is a fine line between confident and arrogant. Don't go over the top as this will be counter productive. Being confident means being positive, giving it your best and being prepared to fail but willing to try again and laughing in the face of adversity. Arrogance is thinking you are the best and not caring about how your actions affect others. Don't get the two things confused.

So how to keep your man happy by being confident… you may need to boost your self esteem. There may be reasons from your childhood why you have low self esteem and insecurities. You need to exorcise these demons. Kids that are constantly told they are useless or stupid end up being adults of low self esteem. There are many ways of boosting your confidence and creating that confident self assured appearance that everyone finds attractive.

What we tend to forget is that we are animals and a lot of what we find attractive and appealing is to do with creating the best off spring. We find strength, self assurance and physical perfection attractive because that is what makes the best mate and should we have children; the best children. So what we are dealing with is nature and it's always there in all we do. Now most of us aren't perfect and consequently what we find attractive is a person that ticks most of the boxes of the ideal mate.

This is your aim… to tick as many boxes as possible and you will feel more confident and self assured. Write a list of your strengths and those things you are really good at. No matter how important you consider them to be. Sit and ponder the list and think of at least three more. Trust me you will find them. We are all better and stronger than we realise. Because day to day we get bogged down with what annoys us and what stands in our way. These are negatives and should not be allowed to damage your confidence.

No body expects you to be good at everything, no one expects you to always get it right. If there are things in the past that have damaged your confidence, leave them there where they belong… in the past. Life is too short to dwell on negatives be they from the past or the present. We cannot change what has happened we can only change what happens next and how we approach to life from now on.

If there are things you are afraid of, confront them head on and get counselling if need be. There is nothing worse than living a life in fear. Surround yourself with positive people. If you have friends or relatives that are always moaning or whining, avoid them and if you can't, be strong and cheer them up. You will be amazed how much confidence you can gain from cheering someone else up. Try and keep company with those people that make you feel positive and cheerful.

We come this way only once so make sure you enjoy it. We are all better than we realise and we all take too much to heart sometimes. By being strong and confident you will make yourself more attractive to everyone not just your man. So how to keep your man happy… be strong, be confident and let him know you love him everyday.

How Do I Save My Marriage and Make It Exciting Again

If you are wondering ‘how do I save my marriage and make it exciting again', it's probably because you feel that it's on the verge of collapse or you're afraid you might be losing your spouses love. Most people like their lovers to be strong and reliable as we tend to lean on one another when outside situations don't go our way or when life becomes challenging.

If you appear weak and dependent you won't be of much use to your other half when they need support and reassuring. Sometimes we don't realise that we are the rock for our partner to lean on in times of trouble. If you are a push over, you appear weak and your marriage is only going to end due to lack of respect and your lack of desirability. Weakness is never an attractive trait.

Do you let your spouse organise your world? If your partner tends to organise meals and nights out, why don't you take control of this sometimes. Don't let your partner do everything for you. Make sure you have some input in the way you spend your leisure time. It's true what they say ‘a couple that plays together, stays together'. How couples spend their leisure time is vital to most relationships and usually the answer to the ‘how do I save my marriage?' question.

If you are the one that does all the organising… let your spouse make some decisions or they will get in a rut and just end up feeling useless. This lowers their self esteem and confidence. This is a classic control freak scenario… take control of everything so the other person forgets how to fend for themselves. So that when they have to think independently they don't have the confidence or drive to make a decision. If you control everything all the time, you create a dull and unattractive lover that will probably end up leaving you for someone that lets them make decisions and consequently makes them feel good about themselves.

Life and especially relationships are about balance and chemistry. If you keep the balance you keep the chemistry. There has to be mutual love and respect. You can't have this without the balance that an equal partnership can bring. Love isn't about doing everything for your lover but it's about helping one another develop and supporting one another when we need it most. You must let your spouse know you care about them everyday, but be strong and also let them know you are an individual within the relationship and you have your own likes and dislikes and your own opinions and preferences.

Love, honour and obey… my ass! This is the 21st Century… If you lose your partners respect you will lose your partner. If your spouse wants subservience give them the number of a maid service and go out with your mates. Be strong and get organised and show your spouse that they are the most important thing to you but… you are an individual and capable of making decisions and being the rock they sometimes need. The answer to ‘how do I save my marriage?' is get help if you need to but keep your self-respect and a little independence and you will surely keep your marriage exciting and alive. If you think about it, you both fell in love with independent people and you just need to be that person again.