Is Relationship Psychology Working Against You?

As humans we often have a tendency to make things much more difficult than they really need to be. Why... who knows? But I do know that figuring out what the relationship psychology is in your relationship and how you can make things healthier may not really be as hard as you thought.

The truth of the matter is that we all are superb liars, at least when we lie to ourselves. More than likely everyone has had at least one relationship in which they knew in their heart that the person they were with was the wrong individual for them, but they chose to ignore it.  I know I have.

It's just so easy to pretend that someone is something they aren't or make believe they aren't something that they are. We do it all the time. In a lot of cases it's just this effortless lying that makes the relationship unbearable over time.

When you and your honey are in the first blush of love, it's pretty easy to ignore the clear signs of trouble: he will promise to call, but doesn't and you'll ignore it and make excuses for him. Or she will snap at you and demean you in public and you will chalk it up to her being anxious or in a huff. And sometimes, it's appropriate to pay no attention to these things. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when the mistakes become a prototype it's time to pay attention... and many times we don't.

Another problem comes along in the form of sex. A lot of people mistakenly believe that men need or want sex more than women. That is not completely true, but they may want it for slightly diverse reasons than women do (besides the evident physical pleasure).

Men often equate their worth with their sexual prowess. A man who has sex a lot or who can make his women feel really good feels like a big man.  He needs and wants the ego boost and the affirmation connected with a good frolic.

A woman will often want to feel like she is loved and needed. For her it's as much about the heart as it is about the body. But the bottom line is that both men and women really just want to be loved, appreciated and admired by their spouse. They just achieve those feelings in different ways.

Once you appreciate that both of you want the same things, you just go about getting it in altered ways, it might make the whole relationship seem a little easier. Treat your spouse with love, dignity and admiration and expect them to do the same for you, if both of you follow that rule, your relationship can be a wonderful experience for you both.

Relationship psychology can be complex, but don't get too caught up in the particulars. Just remember the golden rule: "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" that is some of the best relationship advice you can ever get or pursue.

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I Lost the Love of My Life – Don’t Give Up!

When the reality hits and you find yourself saying ‘I lost the love of my life’ it can hit you like a ton of bricks. I know when you come to that understanding it can feel like life simply is not worth living anymore and it may seem like you will never feel happiness again. I think most of us have been at that point before.

Don't give up though, no matter how impossible it may seem that you will be happy again, you can be. I am not saying that it will be easy or that you won't go through a lot of pain... you will. I am just saying that you can find love and happiness again and the better you deal with your breakup the faster you may recover from it.

I have been writing relationship columns for many years and I have been through the ‘I lost the love of my life’ thing before myself, so I may be able to offer you a little advice.  Here are some ideas I have used myself to help me get over my pain as quickly as possible. Some of my ideas may just help, nothing ventured nothing gained right?

1.  Give yourself as much time as you need. I remember that once I heard someone say that you should allow yourself to grieve over your lost love for one week for every year the two of you were together. Personally, I think that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

There is no formula for determining how long it will take you to feel like you have moved on and can be happy again. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. For the most part, it will take as long as it takes.

I do have to say one thing though, if you find that you simply don't seem to be bouncing back even a little bit after several months, you may be suffering from depression and you may need a little extra help to get back to your old self. If that is the case, find a therapist who can help you out, you don't need to suffer unnecessarily.

2. While you are healing, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy the things that made you feel good before (as long as they are positive things).  If you used to enjoy hanging out with your friends, than hang out with your friends.

If you used to enjoy working out then workout.  Just spend your time and energy engaging in positive things that make you feel good about yourself and life in general. If you forget about your pain for a little while than that is just a bonus.

3. If you have been planning on doing something such as take a class or go on vacation, do it now. It may be just the thing you need to keep your mind active. While it will take you as long as it takes you to move on, there is no one to say that you have to stay inside your home dwelling on your pain the whole time.

Most of us will experience the ‘I lost the love of my life’ thing at some point in our lives. It is a rotten thing to go through, but how we handle it can help determine how soon we will be able to move on and find love again. What defines us as people is our character which is measured by how we deal with adversity. Anyone can deal with happiness but pain and heartbreak and how we deal with it is what makes us unique. Basically, human nature being what it is, the more character you have the more interesting you are. Be strong, take control and rise above the issues in your life. Good luck!

What if you could recapture your ex lovers mind, heart and soul?...Wipe the slate clean? Turn back time? Even if you feel right now that your situation is too far gone…too screwed up …or just plain too darn complicated? Click Here and find out how an ordinary guy has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love even though they thought it couldn't happen!

I Miss My Ex Girlfriend - Take Your Time

Wow, one of the hardest things to deal with in life is losing someone you love. It can really take a long time to move on after a break up and you will most likely find yourself saying "I miss my ex girlfriend" many times during the process.

No one can, or should, tell you how long it will be until you feel 'whole' again. Everyone is different and everyone will take as long as they take to finally get over a lost love and feel like they are ready to move on.

Please do not let anyone badger you into 'getting back out there' sooner than you feel you are ready. No one else can make that determination.

However, if you don't seem to be bouncing back after a few months (and I'm not talking about dating, I just mean finding some joy in your day to day life) than you may want to find a counsellor or a therapist that can help you work through your grief.

That may be one of the most common misconceptions: losing someone you loved to a break up is just as traumatic as losing someone to death. It's still grieving and it will still take time to get over.

There are some things that you can do to make the process go a little smoother and maybe even a little more quickly.

The first thing on your list should be to try to get reacquainted with someone special... you.  It's all too common to stop doing some of the things you liked to do when you are in a relationship. Many times the other person won't enjoy the same activities that you do so you just don't do them.

When you feel really low and you miss your ex girlfriend the most... that is the time to spend time doing the things you really loved to do.  I'm not saying that you will suddenly feel better, but you may find that you will be able to get your mind off of your ex girlfriend at least for a little while.

Another thing that you should do during this time is to try to figure out what you can work on to make yourself a better person.

Now, be careful, you don't want to rehash your whole relationship and take all the blame on to yourself. That is not what I mean. I am talking about improving on the person you are. The changes you make may have nothing to do with what went wrong in your relationship.

What I mean is that since you are on your own for a little while, you might as well just try to make some good, positive changes. Why not? That way when you do meet someone else, you can bring a better version of you to the relationship. It will help you alleviate some of your baggage.

I am truly sorry for the pain and loneliness you are feeling, but remember, that every time you say "I miss my ex girlfriend" that is the time to try to distract yourself with a positive activity. Surround yourself with good people that love you, family and old friends, people that know you well and are generally positive. The last thing you need is to be around negativity so choose the company you keep carefully at this time. Good luck!

Click Here... and watch a FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love! Remember... Strategy + Action = Results!

Marriage tips - Keep One Step Ahead!

For years I told my kids to choose shrewdly when it comes to life partners. I pointed out that it takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one to ruin it. If they find themselves in a marriage with someone who isn't grown up enough to work on the issues than they might find themselves in need of marriage tips.

While it's never too late to make a marriage work, the longer you wait the more work you will have. Try to stop problems in their tracks before they become embedded patterns of behaviour - which will be much harder to deal with down the road.

So, you may be wondering, how can I save my marriage now that things have gotten out of hand?  The first, and maybe the hardest, thing you have to do is to frankly assess the marriage. Are you truly convinced that your partner cares as much about the marriage as you do? If not, than it may well be time to call it quits and move on.

It is pretty close to impossible to fix the troubles in a marriage if you are the only one trying.  As painful as it might be in the short term, you will most likely find that in the long run you are much happier and you may even wonder why you hung on so long.

If you believe that both of you are committed to making things work than the next order of business is to figure out what you've been doing off beam and change it. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible if the two of you work together.

Change, even change for the better, is a tough thing for most people. Obviously the way you and your spouse have been doing things in your marriage isn't working. If you want things to be healthier you have to be willing to do things differently, and that can be difficult and daunting.

You must be patient with yourself and your spouse. You are both undergoing a lot of changes and it isn't always going to be smooth sailing. If one or the other of you 'messes up' be sympathetic and don't beat yourselves up about it.

I appreciate that in our society we want, and expect, quick and easy solutions to our problems, but it won't be quick and it probably won't be trouble-free. Be willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to get the results you need and want. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive your spouse for their mistakes. If you both do that, you will already be further ahead of most couples. 

Marriage tips for your frayed marriage are as close as your spouse. Just talking and deciding if you are both on the same page when it comes to your marriage (and if you are both willing to do what it takes to make it work) is sometimes all you really need to make it work.

Click Here... and watch a FREE video from an ordinary guy that has helped 50000+ couples find happiness and lasting love! Remember... Strategy + Action = Results!