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Saturday 12 March 2011

Getting Rid Of the Other Woman - Simple and Clean

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and some are worse than others. One of the worst mistakes you can make, and the one that does an unimaginable amount of harm, is that of infidelity. When you cheat on someone whether it's your wife or your girlfriend, you are proving to everyone involved that you are selfish and childish. The only way to make things right is to end the relationship and give 100% to your wife or girlfriend, the one who you promised you would be faithful to.  The problem is, the other woman might genuinely care for you and you will hurt her too, so be careful how you go about getting rid of the other woman.

The first thing you have to do is talk to her.  If you've been lying to her and she didn't even know you were married or in another relationship, you've really screwed up.  You will most likely cause her a lot of pain but you have to break the cycle of lying and cheating. Just be as gentle as possible, but let her know in no uncertain terms that it's over and you don't want to see her again.

If your lover knows that you're married or in another relationship, ending things with her will be a little easier, hopefully.  At least you haven't lied to her too.  Just make a clean break.

You have to make sure and make a total break from the other woman that means no phone calls, racy texts, or fantasies. If you want your marriage or your relationship with your girlfriend to work you have to give her 100% fidelity and that means even in your mind.  Fantasizing is fine as long as your fantasies revolve around a movie star or a person you don't know, if you're still fantasizing about your mistress than you haven't totally ended the relationship. 

Make sure you get rid of her phone number, delete her email address and all emails the two of you have exchanged.  If you've been given any presents or mementos, get rid of them too.  You have to make a fresh start and you can't do that if you're still holding on to your mistress, even in small ways.

If the other woman was someone you met at work, you will see her on a daily basis so it will become even more necessary that you let her know everything is over. Don't lead her on just to stroke your own ego.  Tell her it's over and follow up the words with clear actions, if the two of you used to hang out during your lunch hour, try to take your lunch at a different time or don't go to the same places where you used to meet her.  Alter your routine so that you can avoid her as much as possible that way you'll be letting her know by your actions as well as your words that it truly is over for good.

The other woman is often demonised in our society and if a woman knowingly goes out with a married man she has some moral issues she needs to deal with, but the bottom line is that you are the one who made the commitment to your wife or girlfriend, and you are the one who broke it.  It's your responsibility to make things right and the first step to do that is by getting rid of the other woman and makes a total commitment to your wife.

Friday 11 March 2011

Look for Warning Signs of a Breakup

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don't stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way, that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don't let this affect your self-esteem. It isn't you, it's them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don't take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn't your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don't let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

Thursday 10 March 2011

Change the Story - Advice for a Broken Heart

When it seems like your story book romance has had an unhappy ending and the one you love has left, you may need some advice for a broken heart. You may not feel like it will ever heal and that the grief you feel is unbearable but be sure that this is something that will go away. Healing a broken heart can take time and effort on your part, but there are some things that can be done and you can do it turning this sad story of loss and failure into a success story. Here are some advice that will help that happen.


Give yourself a chance to mourn or be angry. You need a chance to feel the pain of losing the one you love. There is nothing at all wrong with allowing yourself a chance to feel this way. It is part of the way we are built. We are made with emotions that are helpful and by holding them back or ignoring them; you are only doing yourself harm and missing out on the human experience. The thing that you have to do is to limit that time. You can't spend your life feeling that way, you will have to move on. Give yourself permission to feel this way for a few days, a week, or maybe a little longer and then get about the business of living.

Let go. If there are some things that you need to forgive yourself for, then do it. Don't let it hang over your head. If there are some unresolved issues from the past relationship, then you need to address them. If there is an issue of forgiving the one that left, then go ahead and do it. Don't wait for them to come asking for it because it won't happen. Just let go of it. You can't embrace tomorrow if you are too busy holding yesterday.

Don't go back. There is no benefit to living in the past. You have today and tomorrow and that is all that matters. If you spend your time dwelling on yesterday you very well could be missing out on opportunities that will make your future much brighter than you ever could have imagined. Today has plenty to offer you. Take advantage of it. Spend each day looking for the good things and let the past stay behind you.

Take this as an opportunity to improve something about yourself. Use this as a learning experience. Don't let it be a negative lesson, though. Try to find a positive thing that you can learn. What would you do differently or better if you had it to do all over again? What are some things you wish you had done better? If you had it to do all over again, what would you do differently? What would have made that relationship better? So often we come out of relationships feeling depressed and having taken a hit to our self-esteem. Do things that will help improve self-esteem. Make yourself better.

A break up is the end of a story in a way, but it is better considered the end of a chapter, not the book. The best advice there is for a broken heart is to take the broken and hurting pieces of your life and concentrate on making the rest of your life's story a success and give this tragedy a happy ending.

Wednesday 9 March 2011

Break Up Recovery Sucks - There Is Life After Your Breakup

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and as you start your break up recovery you can focus on how to get stronger for that next big relationship in your life. You may need to do a pulse check to make sure your heart is still beating, but more than likely it still is. While losing this relationship may have caused your heart to stop for a little while, it will beat again. While you are learning that your heart will go on, try focusing on some things that will help you from repeating mistakes that may have been made in your last relationship so you don't go through them again. Here are some things that might help you in the future.

Become secure in yourself. If you want to have a relationship that is secure, then try being more secure. If you need therapy then get it. Find ways to feel good about yourself and expect nothing but the best. If this new relationship is going to be grounded, it will need someone to be grounded in. Don't expect it to be the new person. Don't look for security in the new love. Look for it in yourself. Not only will this help you in the way you look and feel about yourself, it will help you look more attractive to others.

Responsibility should be shared. In many failed relationships most of the work is done by only one person. A good and solid relationship takes two people putting in equal effort. If both people are working towards the relationship's success then it will most likely endure. Look for and expect a 50-50 split in the load shared. This may mean more work from you and it may mean holding your new partner to a higher standard. In either case it is well worth it. If someone isn't working in it, you have to question just how important it is to them. If both don't see the value then there might not be much to work for.

Learn to communicate better and more lovingly. Communication break down is often one of the symptoms and sometimes the cause of a failed relationship. It could mean you learning to talk more or less. Train yourself to listen more. Ask for your new love's opinions on things and don't dominate discussions. Don't allow them to dominate your discussions either. You have a voice, use it to voice your concerns and feelings. A key to learning how to communicate better is in training ourselves to respond better. Does your initial response sound harsh or defensive? Your tone and word choice can make situations much worse than they need to be.

The key to having a successful break up recovery is to come out of it better, stronger, and smarter becoming more prepared for the next relationship. What will make the difference between success and failure is what you bring into the relationship and how you come into it.

Tuesday 8 March 2011

Five Free Tips on How to Get Your Ex Back for Good

So your goal is to get back with your ex and you want some free tips on how to get your ex back. The very first thing you need to do is re-evaluate this. You may be putting yourself through some unnecessary drama if this relationship wasn't meant to be. If, however, you are convinced that there is nothing better that you can be doing than getting your ex back, there are several things that will help you accomplish that.

1) Don't get over ambitious. It can be easy to get passionate about getting back together. Nothing wrong with a little passion, but there is such a thing as taking it too far. If you try to force the issue or try to move things too quickly you could end up scaring your ex off.

2) Regain control of your life. It may seem like things have spun out of control since the break up, but that isn't going to help you get your ex back. If you want to have a relationship that is more under control, then it needs to have partners in it who are in control of their own life. Not only will this give the relationship a better chance, it will help you look more attractive. People are drawn to confidence and if you are in control of things you will have that confidence.

3) Avoid the drive-by. You may be incredibly interested in what is going on in their life and you might miss them terribly, but try to avoid driving by their house. This will only help you look obsessed and desperate. You are more likely to get a restraining order than you are to get your ex back.

4) Give it some time and space. If the relationship just recently ended, allow a cushion in there. If you force yourself back into their life when they want a break from you, any bad feelings that they have towards you will only be amplified. Allow them a chance to miss you and for them to cool down their negative thoughts towards you.

5) Don't bother their friends and family. It's not a bad thing to be concerned or worried about them. It isn't a bad thing to want to know what they are doing. It is a bad thing to start pestering the ones they care about. If you keep calling them or keep inquiring about your ex, they may get tired of you quickly. Few people want to be a middle man and most people resent being put in that situation. When that happens, they will most likely not have good things to say about you when they talk to your ex.

There are many other things that you can do that may help you get your ex back. Just make sure that in your efforts you don't push them further away. The best free tips on how to get your ex back will help you accomplish that.

Monday 7 March 2011

Does Love Help You Live Longer - The Real Answer

Does love help you live longer? What a great question! Statistics show that happily married couples live as much as five years longer than their single counterparts (with the effect being somewhat more pronounced in married men). Because it is so subjective, it is impossible to accurately measure love with statistics. However, with a cursory glance of the data, it seems reasonably safe to assume that love, does, in some way, lead people to spend a few more years among the living.

Everybody agrees that being loved is a wonderful feeling. Knowing that somebody cares for us is hard to explain in words, but it sure feels good! Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if you smiled a little bit just now thinking about the people that love you. And though true love towards someone doesn't require that they love you back, I bet you just so happen to return love to those who love you most.

Loving others means you are unselfish when dealing with them. Caring for someone else's happiness and well-being takes your focus off of you and puts other people first. This can be a marvellous way to reduce stress that would otherwise steal years from our lives.

Another quick answer to the question "does love help you live longer" is, "hate sure makes you die sooner". Hating others only increases other negative feelings and stress. Have you ever felt a certain something pumping through your body when you hate someone or something? Your whole physiology changes, besides, its wasted energy, because those that are the subject of our hatred either don't care how we feel, or have no idea how we feel.

One more aspect of love and longevity is that love often gives us a reason to keep on living. Men and women throughout the world have survived horrendous situations (man-made and natural) only because they focused on seeing their loved ones once again. If that's not a testament to the life-extending power of love, I don't know what is!

The connection between emotional health and physical health is still not completely understood. However, there are clear links between the two. The human body is, in many ways, greater than the sum of its parts. Another way to look at it is if we are in prime physical shape, but are emotional wrecks, then we are not getting all life has to offer.

Let's be realistic for a moment, shall we? Love may not keep you from getting hit by a bus when crossing the street, but it can make recovering from such an accident more bearable. Even if love can't be proven to help you live longer, I know I would rather have a few short years of loving someone, instead of having several lifetimes without any love at all.

There are two easy ways to use love to increase the quality of life. The first is to show love towards others. That not only includes family and friends, but everyone you deal with in some capacity. The second way can be a bit trickier for some: allow others to love you. Keep the following phrase in mind as you go about your day, and see what a difference it makes. The phrase…? "Let love happen".

Sunday 6 March 2011

Successfully Dealing With Ending a Relationship


The earliest writings we know of (both secular and religious) talk about how to handle couples breaking up and even though it has been going on for millennia, dealing with ending a relationship has not got any easier. Hearts get broken, people get hurt, and it can be painful and confusing at the same time. Here are some things for you to consider, helping you navigate a relationship that's ending.

The first thing you need to convince yourself of is that the past is the past. It is a common tactic to try to purposely erase the memory of your ex completely from your mind. But, trying to forget it means you are focusing on it. In other words, you are turning the past into the present. By doing that, you can be sure that you are dredging up old, painful memories and that you will feel miserable in the process

As mentioned it's not easy, in fact, it can be emotionally wrenching and one of the toughest things to face as you go through life. It may seem impossible now, but you must let things run their course. Give it some time. They say "time heals all wounds", and though it's difficult and you feel awful, the saying is true. Keep this in mind as you're dealing with ending a relationship.

Another thing you must do is establish firm ground rules, especially if you know there will be situations where you are likely to encounter one another; work is one such example. Your best bet is to keep things as platonic as possible at first. Sure, there were good times, but you don't want to start talking about them immediately after the break up. You also want to avoid talking about the bad times, or whatever led to the breakup.

When dealing with ending a relationship, you may want to do your best to avoid your ex, but don't do this to the point of obsession. If you are trying too hard to avoid them, you are, in reality, giving them more power, and not dealing with your real feelings.

By the same token, you need to understand that the relationship is over, at least for now. Don't make the mistake of being overly friendly to show you are "back to normal". It will only make you look foolish or phoney. You may also want to get back together, but you just have to give this some time. If you try jumping back in too quickly, you run a high risk of alienating your ex even further.

Perhaps you will never get back together, maybe you have no intentions of doing so, but it's always a good idea to get along with other people. Following the tips above will leave the door open to the possibility of reconciling, or, at the very least, not having your blood boil every time you hear of or see your ex.