Relationship Psychology Can Save Your Marriage

The science of relationship psychology can be used to improve your relationship, at its core it’s simply a way to learn how to recognize and learn to change the destructive things you do in a relationship. This could be something as simple as always falling for the wrong person or just being so insecure that you slowly tear your marriage apart.

Learning to understand each other and actually listening to what your partner has to say is a vital skill that you must learn if you want to master relationship psychology and create peace in your marriage.

It's no revelation that men and woman communicate differently, too. We all know that men tend to like to take action and women are more likely to want to talk about the state of affairs. That in a nutshell is the big reason why men and women have so many difficulties in marriages; they just need to learn how to communicate more successfully with each other.

When it comes to using relationship psychology to help improve your marriage, talk to your spouse about what they think is the perfect marriage and what they expect this marriage will be like. They may have an all together different idea than you do about the issue. Say, for example, that your husband grew up in a home where his father dominated everything then he may feel he has that right in his own marriage. And if you grew up in a family that was more democratic than that and everyone was allowed to be a part of any decisions that were made, then there will be problems in your marriage.

Understanding relationship psychology and getting things out in the open and learning to deal with them right from the beginning will enable the two of you to avoid misunderstandings and the hurt they bring because you will understand where the other is coming from.

If you think you have met your perfect match, your soul mate, the love of your life that does not mean that the whole thing will always be sunshine and roses. I think a lot of people who think they have met 'the one' mistakenly assume that they will always get along and the marriage will always be perfect and that they won't have to work at it. Life is not a fairy tale and marriages like that only happen in fairy tales and Hollywood.

Having a healthy marriage does not just happen, it takes some effort on both your parts. So teach yourselves right from the beginning and then put what you learn into action, simple!

If you really want to start out on the right foot, get some premarital counselling. There are counsellors who specialize in premarital counselling or the minister of your church probably offers it as well. Use this time to build on the good things about your marriage and nip the problem areas in the bud. The counsellor can teach you both how to communicate successfully and give you both insight into how your spouse thinks and behaves in certain situations.

Relationship psychology can be an effective tool to use to build a healthy marriage between you and the love of your life.

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I Lost the Love of My Life Because I Did Something Stupid

I lost the love of my life because I did something stupid, how can I get them back?  Unfortunately that question, or variations of it, has been asked millions of times by millions of people throughout history. If you are one of those people there are some things that you can do to help yourself win back that person that you just can't seem to get over or get out of your heart.

Your approach will be different depending on your unique circumstances but remember that even if your ex is with someone else, that up to 90% of rebound relationships don't work out and in most cases the couple end up breaking up within six months. With one or both people returning to thinking ‘I lost the love of my life how do I get them back?’

That should give you some hope and a little breathing room, while you figure things out. The first thing you have to do is to figure out why you did the stupid thing that you did. Were you lashing out at your ex because they said or did something that hurt your feelings, if so, you better learn to grow up and hold your tongue the next time around. Find better ways of dealing with these types of situations, there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things, find the right way.

Was it a case that you were just selfish or insensitive (or maybe both) this too is a sign of immaturity, so if you really want to make things work when you are able to get back your ex, you'd better make some changes sooner rather than later.  If you don't change your behaviour, you won't change the outcome and you'll be right back saying I lost the love of my life because I did something stupid... again.

A good thing to do is to say sorry, sincerely, and explain why you did what you did and what you plan to do to make some changes. A lot of times just having a set 'game plan' that you can explain to your ex to let them know you are serious about making changes, will go a very long way to winning back the ex you've wronged. Make sure that you can present a specific plan otherwise it might just seem like lip service and you will end up saying ‘I lost the love of my life’ for the rest of your life!

It's never going to work if you don't prove to your ex that you've made genuine change and that you're 100% committed to making yourself a improved person, and an enhanced partner.  If you can convince them that you are serious, they'll have a slightly easier time of trusting you. Remember, that the stupid things you did before caused your ex a lot of pain and they're going to think twice before they risk that kind of hurt again. They need to believe that you won't hurt them again and just saying it... won't cut it most of the time.

Do not cause yourself and others, needless pain by continually repeating the same old stupid patterns of behaviour over and over again. Instead save yourself a lot of pain and keep yourself from ever having to say 'I lost the love of my life because I did something stupid' ever again.

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I Miss My Husband – You Have Only Two Choices

Author: Clare London

The break up happened six months ago and you are still saying, "I miss my husband". You are also wondering how this is even possible. He hurt you badly by having that affair and when you broke it off you thought you would be done with him forever. You now have two choices. You can try to get him back or learn successful ways to get over him and get on with your life.

If you choose to try to get him back then you have to ask yourself two very significant questions. If he comes back will he just hurt me again? And, is he worth taking back? The answers to these questions are, if he hurt you once he will probably do it again. Especially if he does not think he did anything wrong in the first place. So the answer to the second question is fairly clear, no, he is not worth taking back.

You need to figure out why you are still saying, "I miss my husband". Is it because you still love him or do you miss the drama of the relationship? If you know deep in your heart that he was no good for you and you just miss the drama, my advice to you would be to get some counselling. Counselling is not a dreadful thing. Having been where you are I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

A good counsellor can work with you to change the things in you that make you attract all the losers you have attracted your whole life. Maybe you do not think you are worthy enough to have someone respectable in your life. A counsellor can help you work through the things that have affected your self-esteem and help you see yourself in a different, more positive light.

Once you start to feel more confident the ‘I miss my husband’ thing will affect you less and less. You will start to appreciate that you are better off without him and that no one deserves to be hurt the way he hurt you. You can finally stop being a doormat and take charge of every aspect of your life, including your love life. Make an appointment at your salon and get a new hairstyle, go shopping with the girls and buy a new outfit or two and start going to different clubs when you go out with the girls.

With all your new found self-assurance, you may just start to see that you attract a different type of man. There are men out there who like a self-assured woman, a woman who can seemingly do anything she puts her mind to. Just remember to not fall back into those same old tendencies of being a doormat when it comes to your relationship. Stay strong and confident and one day you will think back and wonder why you hung on to that loser and almost embarrassed yourself by saying, "I miss my husband", for so long after your broke up.

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Relationship Self Help Books Can Save Your Relationship

Believe it or not there are some excellent relationship self help books out there that show you techniques that you can apply to your relationship to regain some of the closeness you once felt for each other. It is really unfortunate that day to day life gets in the way of the love you have for each other and can put your relationship at risk.

If our romantic interludes aren’t treated as priority it seems as if they almost get forgotten and then the harder it is to find them again. It is as if you went from not being able to keep your hands off of each other in the beginning to rarely ever touching each other after five years.

Any relationship self help books will tell you, to keep a relationship alive, touching is very important. It shows your partner that even though there are a million and ten things that need to be dealt with, you are trying to stay connected, even in some small way. Hold hands wherever you go, walking down the street, riding in the car, sitting and watching TV together, whatever. Also, reach out and touch your partner even as you just walk by them. This will make them feel loved and let them know you care. Just putting your hand on their knee when you are sitting together is important.

Did you know that research shows that if you talk to your partner about anything and everything throughout your relationship it is less likely that either one of you will explode over something silly. If the lines of communication are open for the little things, then they will stay open for the bigger things that come along. Learning to communicate successfully is the single most important technique you can learn to improve or maintain your relationship.

Another technique you can learn from relationship self help books is to try to remember the things you like and love about your partner. Stop focusing on the things that annoy you and turn your attention back to the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Those little annoyances creep in and soon become big annoyances and then they just seem to take over and dwarf everything else that really counts in your relationship.

Last, but not least, do you spend all your time together or not enough time together? Relationship self help books will tell you either way can be detrimental to a relationship. Too much time together can cause those little annoyances we talked about to rear their ugly heads a lot sooner and also promotes boredom. Think about it, if you are spending every waking moment together you will end up not having a single thing to talk about. So, spend some time away from each other every once in a while. Miss each other. You will come back to the relationship with a new admiration for your partner, not to mention maybe a good story or two to share.

Using one or all of these techniques that you will find in relationship self help books; will help keep your relationship strong and healthy and your love alive and well.

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How to Win Your Wife Back the Right Way

If you are trying to find dependable information on how to win your wife back then keep reading. If you want to get your love back then you might be in for an unsympathetic reality check. No one is perfect and there are probably some improvements that need to be made before she will agree to come back to you.

You need to be honest with yourself and figure out why she left. What did she say when she left? Did she give a reason or did she just walk out? You know you two have been arguing a lot more lately, go back over what has been said during the arguments and see if you can figure out what the problem was as this will help you discover how to win your wife back.

When it comes to relationships, nothing is more important than trust. If you did something to make her distrust you then you have a long row to hoe to get that trust back. It won't be easy but it is not impossible to regain that trust.

First step:  Express regret!

And mean it. Do not just go through the motions. She will see through it and trust you even less. If you are serious about learning how to win your wife back, do not play games.

She needs to know she can rely on you. In other words, are you reliable? Do you do what you say you are going to do or do you say you will do it and don’t? Keep in mind, you will build trust faster and get more respect from her if you keep your promises and get things done in a reasonable time frame.

How to win your wife back: Listen to her when she speaks. Look her in the eye, pay attention, and react accordingly. You will make her feel as if she is the centre of your universe and if listening to her is not something you did before, she will take notice and begin to think that maybe you have changed for the better. Do not let communication shut down like it did the first time around. If something is bothering either of you, initiate a talking session so the small thing doesn't turn into a big thing and then get blown all out of proportion.

Take an interest in what is important to her and she will return the favour at some point. If she likes to plant flowers and has a nice garden out back, go out and help her plant some other things or help pull weeds, even if you don't see the point. Maybe she will see the effort you are making and try to learn more about that basketball or football game you want to watch on Sunday. Do not expect her to wait on you while you sit and watch the game either. Get up and get your own beer and ask her if she wants one. Offer to explain how a play is run or why the ref made that crappy call instead of shouting at the TV.

Learning to share the things you both like will keep the relationship alive and well. Before you know it, how to win your wife back will turn into how I won love back and you both will be happier than ever. The couple that plays together stays together!

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Still In Love With My Ex – What Can I Do?

Wow, what a mess.  I'm still in love with my ex but my ex says he's not. What should I do?  If that sounds like you...  you aren't alone. You'd be astonished at how many people still carry a torch for their ex. And no matter what your ex says, it's very likely that they still care about you too. But how can you find out, should you call them and let them know? Or, should you keep your distance and play it cool and hope they'll realize that they still love you?

When dealing with the ‘still in love with my ex’ situation don’t risk humiliation by pouring your heart out to your ex - right before they introduce you to their new love, take things slow and get a lay of the land. This can be done in quite a few ways; you can ask your friends to discreetly ask around about your ex. They can find out if they're seeing anyone or if they've been going to the same places that the two of you used to go (if so, this could be a sign that they're hoping to 'bump' into you. Especially if it's a place they never went before the two of you got together).  Just encourage your friends to use discretion. If your friends are the type of people who don't have a real strong grasp on prudence, this may not be the best approach for you to try.

One way to find out if your ex has any feelings for you still is to ask them... again, tactfully. As we discussed above, you don't want to take the chance of being humiliated so instead of coming right out and asking use subtlety to find out. Call them up; say 'hi' ask what they've been up to. It's all very casual and you're not committing to anything, you're just trying to be friendly. It can be hard to take it slow when all you can think is 'I'm still in love with my ex’ but you have to.

When dealing with ‘still in love with my ex’ syndrome, don't start asking them about the people they are seeing. This will either come across as being a cross-examination, or they'll guess your real intentions. Instead just forget that the two of you ever had a past and just be the fun loving, easy going person they fell in love with the first time the two of you got together.

Keep the reminiscing to a minimum unless they bring it up. If they do make a lot of references to the past it's very likely that you've got your answer.  If they really didn't still care for you it's not very plausible that they'd keep talking about the past, as a matter of fact, it's not real likely that they would have met you for coffee in the first place.

If they bring it up, or you think that they are receptive, talk about the two of you. Again, if it seems like the right time to do it, tell them that you still care for them. This doesn't necessarily have to be a confession of your undying love; it's not unusual to still care for an ex, so if they react badly you're not on the hook. If they say that they still care for you or that they miss you, it might just be the beginning of act 2 for the two of you!

With a little subtle sleuthing you might just find out that you'll be saying: 'I'm still in love with my ex, and he loves me too!'

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Marriage Counselling Could Save Your Marriage

If life has gotten in the way of the two of you spending quality time together and all you seem to be doing lately is sniping at each other about dull stuff that really doesn't mean anything, maybe you two need a break. Marriage counselling could save your marriage!

Plan a weekend away and just go relax and try to reconnect. It doesn't have to be costly or even far away. Just somewhere the two of you can spend some time alone and start to rebuild your marriage. While taking your weekend away, plan to talk things out. Promise each other you will both be as open and honest about everything as you can be. You need to work together to save your marriage.

A couples retreat could be very eye opening and helpful in learning what your spouse thinks about your marriage. You may learn something you did not know about your spouse and vice versa. Anything fresh and new that the two of you can share will open up doors you did not know were there and inject new life into your marriage so that you no longer need marriage counselling.

When you get home, make a plan for the future. Sit down together and list some goals that you each would like to see happen in one year, five years and ten years. You get the picture. When each of your lists are complete then compare them, see what goals you have in common and try to combine them so you have one list with shared goals on it. Keep any other goals on a separate list and pick one from it when the mutual goals have been realized in the time frame you chose.

Another suggestion would be to join a group (maybe your church offers one) that is taking couples on a retreat, if you are both willing. Not exactly marriage counselling, but if you feel as though you need a marriage resuscitation, a couples retreat could work out nicely for both of you. You will be required to open up and talk about your feelings during group therapy discussion, compete with the other couples in physical challenges, and learn how to better communicate with your spouse by completing specific communication exercises with them.

If one of your goals is to renovate a section of the house, again sit down and plan out everything that you think a remodel would involve. Make sure that the two of you are on the same page when it comes to the type of fixtures you want and what you want the finished room to look like. Good communication is necessary to complete a venture like a remodel and to reduce or eliminate misunderstandings it is essential to talk things through and have a plan. Whether you plan to do the work yourselves or hire it out, communicating successfully with each other and the contractor you hire is very important. This is a kind of subliminal marriage counselling because you are building something together which is the basis of any relationship.

These suggestions and possibly some marriage counselling could save your marriage. Your marriage really is in your hands and the two of you can make it or break it. We pass this way only once and love is arguably the greatest thing we experience during our time here so don’t give up on it too cheaply. It is all up to you... good luck!

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