Top 5 Relationships - No No’s

Everyone thinks that the love they share with their partner is unique, and in many ways it is.  But when it comes to the different ways couples sabotage their love, there are some common themes that seem to affect virtually every relationship.  Here are the top 5 relationships 'don'ts'. By taking heed and following this list you will give yourself and your partner a really good chance of keeping things strong and loving for many years to come.

1. Learn to communicate.  This sounds easy but in many cases it's not.  One of the most important things to remember is that when your partner talks you need to hear what they are saying, not what you think they are saying. For example, if you are a little overweight and insecure about your weight, it's quite likely that you'll turn every comment you hear about overweight people back on yourself.

So if your partner makes a comment about a fat person at the beach it's very likely that you'll get a little defensive because you'll think they are secretly talking about you. When you take this same scenario and apply it to many other aspects of your relationship you can see that neither of you is actually hearing nor understanding what the other person is trying to say. You are only hearing things from your own perspective, not your partner's. 

In order to effectively communicate you and your partner will have to learn to express what you really feel and to hear what the other person is truly saying without reading between the lines. If you're not really sure what their meaning is... ask them.

2.  Giving more than you take. While no one wants to be a door mat, if both of you actually gave more than you take the relationship would be very equal.  If just one of you is giving more and taking less than the relationship can be a disaster, and that is the dynamic of many relationships, one partner takes more than they give. 

3. Don't be afraid to show your partner how much you love them and are attracted to them.  And one word of caution to a lot of you guys out there: affection does not necessarily mean sex.  A woman wants to be desired by her partner but she doesn't want to feel like that's all you want her for.  Make sure that at least half of the affection you show her comes in non sexual ways.  A simple kiss on the check or coming up from behind and giving her a hug, those things can make anyone feel loved and like a million bucks.

4.  Keep your relationship grounded in good habits, not bad. If the thing that the two of you enjoy doing together isn't a positive activity your relationship can never be a healthy one, you are just enabling one another.  So if your partner is your drug or drinking buddy, or the two of you get off on shoplifting etc. you need to get help as fast as you can. Not only are these activities not the basis for a long term relationship, they are also extremely self destructive and could end up ruining your life.

5.  And last, but definitely not least, are you and your partner best friends? I've had many friends over the years who would say that their spouse was their best friend yet they'd turn right around in the same conversation and say that they couldn't tell them about this or that.  If your partner is your best friend, you should be able to talk to them about anything... period.  If the two of you don't share that level of intimacy (no matter how much sex you may have) you aren't truly intimate and your relationship can use some help.

I'm not a therapist ( and I don't play one on TV.) but if you follow these  5 relationships tips, you and your partner can have a lot better relationship that will stand the test of time. 

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Break Up Relationship Advice - Get It Done!

What many people may not realize is that while being dumped is no fun, it's no picnic for the person who is doing the dumping either (assuming they aren't a complete jerk that is).  Finding the best, and most gentle, way to break up relationship takes a little common sense, a little compassion and a little finesse.  Once you've made your mind up that this is the best course of action don't be afraid to stand by your decision, even if your soon to be ex starts crying or begging you. It's hard, I know, but you have to do it for both of you.

If you're truly ready to end the relationship, and hopefully you aren't just mad over some insignificant tiff the two of you had, than the best course of action is to get it over with quickly. If you're just not sure the best way to go, here are a few ideas you may want to use:

1. Unless you honestly believe your ex may get violent (and don't pretend like you are afraid of this if you really have no reason to be just because you're a chicken) than you should meet them in person and tell them face to face that the relationship is over.  It's the most respectful way to do it.  Even if your ex was a royal jackass and treated you like crap, it's still the best way for you to handle it since it will show, yet again, that you are the bigger person. 

2. State your case and be firm.  You aren't asking them for permission or that they agree with you, you are just letting them know where you are coming from. It's not really important if they see things the way you do or not (after all, if the two of you were so much on the same page it's likely that you wouldn't be breaking up in the first place).  Don't forget that you are just being courteous and respectful of them and their feelings; you are explaining your feelings, not justifying them.

3. If they have a question, or 6, answer them honestly. The only time I might recommend against full honesty is if you've already met someone new.  There is no need to cause unnecessary pain.  Other than that though, be kind but be honest.

4. Don't get mushy and lose your nerve and  turn your 'breakup' into a 'break' since it will only cause more pain when it becomes obvious to them that you really have no intention of ever getting back with them.  If it's a breakup then make sure you let them know that in no uncertain terms, don't give them false hope of a reconciliation.

5. Make it clear that you don't want to see them or talk to them again (as gently as possible).  If they do call you, don't answer.  In the long run you'll be doing them a favour since answering their calls and talking to them will only convince them that you want them back but you just haven't 'come to your senses yet'. 

It stinks to have to break up relationship (though it may be slightly better than having someone breakup with you) so finding the best way to go about it so you inflict the least amount of pain is helpful.  If you use these tips you should be able to accomplish just that.  Good luck.

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Cheating In a Relationship - WOW - It Hurts

Wow, cheating in a relationship is one of the most difficult betrayals to overcome, and many couples can never really move past it.  It will take a lot of time and love to rebuild the distrust that cheating has caused and unless both of you are committed to it 100% you might as well call it quits right now because it simply won't work.

If you're the one who has been cheated on, it may be very difficult for you to ever trust your partner again, no matter how much they apologize. If you tell them that you are willing to try you better make darn sure that you really are willing to try.  One of the biggest traps of this type of situation is the tendency of the person who was betrayed to punish the cheater throughout the rest of the relationship.  The problem is that you won't really know if that's what will happen or not since you might sincerely believe you can forgive them for the betrayal.

Before you even try to mend the relationship it's important you ask yourself why. Make sure that you are only staying because you truly believe the two of you can make things work and not because you're afraid of being on your own.  If your partner has cheated more than once, do yourself a favour and run, don't walk, away.  We often get confused about the causes of cheating, we think it's about sex, but it's not really. The truth is that it's about one person’s serious character flaws and insecurities. 

There have been a string of high profile cases lately where husbands have cheated on their (very beautiful) wives almost from the day they said "I do".  What is their excuse?  Is it an addiction?  Is it that their wives weren't meeting their needs?  The truth is that with most of these cases the cheaters are just insecure children who never grew up enough to live up to their word.  When they said "I do" it was supposed to mean "I won't" but they selfishly did whatever it was that made them feel better for a few minutes.

If you're in a relationship with someone like that you are really better off to just leave.  It's unlikely that any amount of therapy will help your partner grow up and grow a conscience or grow some character. You don't need the pain.

If, on the other hand, your partner made a onetime mistake and the two of you had a great relationship prior to that (and you think you really can forgive them) than by all means give it a shot.  It would probably be best to enlist the help of a therapist who can help the two of you navigate the minefield that is going to follow the affair.  It will be tough for the two of you to keep your emotions in check long enough to find a path to the loving relationship you once shared.

It won't be easy but cheating in a relationship can be overcome but only if both parties really want it.  If you aren't both committed totally to making things better and moving on, than you're better off calling it quits right now so you can find someone who knows what honesty and fidelity is all about.

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5 Answers on How to Win Love Back

There is no doubt that being in love is the best of all of the human emotions, but it doesn't always last. Unfortunately, relationships can come to an end. Even worse is that they sometimes end so suddenly that we never had an idea of what was coming.

Other times we can sense how outside forces cause a strain on being together. Regardless of why it has happened, how to win love back is a question that is relatively straight forward to answer. Here are some things to keep in mind to help you get back together after breaking up with someone you love.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

While relationships can end for any number of reasons, one of the most common underlying causes is a lack of trust by one or both partners. Whether that was the case or not, from this point forward, you have to be completely honest.

You have to be honest with yourself, with your partner, and about the relationship. Doing so will not only give you the best chance of patching things up, it will also help you stay together. After all, the best relationships are always built on a solid foundation of trust.

Become a Cheerleader

Everybody is different, and it's normal for each partner to have different interests. You can still do things together, and share some common interests, but let your partner have their own life, too. Encourage them in their hobbies, interests and goals. Of course, these things should be done in a way that doesn't damage the relationship, but you also need to give them enough trust to support and encourage them when they are doing their own thing.

Be Reliable

If you want to know how to win love back, then this is another great tip. If you say you're going to do something, then do it. And, to make it easier for you, only say you will do the things you for certain you will be able to follow through on. Broken promises break up relationships, and that's not what you're trying to do.

"Listening" Is a Verb

Good communication is vital to having a strong relationship. The best way to do this right is by listening. Yes, you have to talk, too, but it's by listening that you'll find out what your partner really wants and needs. But, keep in mind that hearing is passive, and listening is active. Pay attention to what your partner is saying, to what they mean. Don't think about how you are going to answer until they are done talking.

Make It Happen!

All of the above tips really work, but they are worthless if you don't do anything with them. It's up to you to take the next step. Follow these tips and you will increase your odds of getting back together for good. Don't follow them, and, well...you never know what can happen. Therefore, it just makes sense to take action now, to start moving toward answering the question of how to win back love back in a positive way.

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Answer To How to Get Back With My Ex Boyfriend by Rekindling His Love

At just over three years, my then boyfriend came to the conclusion that we weren't old enough to have a meaningful relationship. For whatever reason, he thought it best for us to live our own lives, to have our own space, and to travel along our own separate paths. It was shortly thereafter that I hatched the idea of how to get back with my ex boyfriend by rekindling his love, though I wasn't quite sure how to go about it.

Perhaps we were a bit too young, maybe he needed to hang out "with the boys" a bit more often, who knows. Either way, I was heartbroken and my steady stream of tears did nothing to disguise my feelings.

As I said, I wasn't quite sure what to do, but I knew I had to talk to him to let him know how I felt. That's why I started off by calling him with unvarying frequency. And, when I was unable to reach him, I would spend my time trying to determine his whereabouts and activities.

The problem was it would only make me feel worse when I realized he wasn't spending that time with me. But my friends told me to stop doing these things; they could not only see that it was upsetting me, but that it was also doing no good whatsoever. I took me a while to listen to them, but eventually I changed my plan.

Okay, ladies, you need to take it from me. If you're serious about rekindling his lost love and getting back together, you have to stop being so desperate. My boyfriend said we needed space, and in a way he was right.

As soon as I stopped spending every waking moment trying to talk to him and track him down, things started getting better. In fact, once I cut off all attempts at communication with him, he called me. Granted, he wanted me to come get the few things of mine he still had, but I saw it as a foot in the door, and I was right! But I still played it cool, he didn't need to know my plan was starting to work.

It seemed as though the less I tried talking to him, the more he wanted to talk to me. It was if he was coming to the realization that he needed me back in his life. By giving him the space he had wanted, he had the time to miss me.

Really, that's all there is to it. Either it’s meant to be, or not. If they were meant to be, then giving him his space, and not tracking him down will work to give him the time he needs to prove his true feelings for you to himself. Keep cool, let him sort things out, and give you some time as well. By doing so, the question of "how to get back with my ex boyfriend by rekindling his love?" will work itself out.

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How Do I Get My Ex Back Again - 5 Tips for Happiness?

Nobody likes going through a break up. They are difficult to deal with, bring up bad emotions, are stressful, traumatic, and even worse...all too common. Perhaps that's why the question of "how do I get my ex back?" is popular. Regardless of how often it happens to others, if it's happening to you then you to know what to do to increase your chances of success in your quest to get your ex back.

What you do after the break up will determine how likely you are to get back together again. With that in mind, here are some things to consider when trying to get back with your ex.

1. Be Yourself. This is essential. You may want to act like a different person in the hopes that your ex will respond more favourably, but that will be a mistake. Even if they would get back together with you more quickly, you can only keep up the charade for so long. It is far better to be honest with your ex, and with yourself. In time, your ex will need to be attracted to the real you. Anything else is just asking for trouble.

2. Do not flirt with your ex's friends under any circumstances. You may think you're only being funny, or you may be trying to be spiteful, but in reality you will be showing a complete lack of class and consideration for your ex. Remember, you're trying to win them back, and you won't do that by being rude; whether it's intentional or not.

3. Be brave and confident and tell your ex how you still feel about them. At the same time, don't overdo it to the point of scaring them away, or giving them the impression that you're some sort of obsessed stalker. Let them know in a subtle, yet direct way.

You will also have to be completely honest about what you're willing to do and not to do to make things work, but any effort you are willing to put forth will count for something.

4. Either get back together for good, or stay apart for good. Of course, it can take a while to get back together, but once you do, you should do whatever you can to stay together, the only thing worse than breaking up... is making up and breaking up repeatedly.

Why put yourself through the heartache over and over again. Therefore, you have to make sure that you really want to work things out before you go any farther. The reverse is true, as well. If your ex is the one that wants to work things out, then make sure that's what they really want.

5. Learn from the past. Before you can move forward, it's important to look backward. Now, that doesn't mean you should relive every nasty argument and yell and scream at each other. Instead, take some time to uncover what led to your breaking up. Once you understand what really happened, you will be in a better position to keep it from happening again.

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How to Win Love Back

Even though there are several different methods out there to win love back, it's still important to start with basics. Two things that are vital to successfully repairing a broken relationship are confidence and a game plan. All relationships have their own sets of ups and downs, and each one has different challenges.

As a result, a slightly different set of solutions will be needed to make things right again, but that doesn't mean you have to try to do it alone. Sure, some of the advice you get may not apply directly to your situation, but the trick is to use whatever you can in a way that works best for you. There are no one size fits all solutions, and having a good grasp of the basics will help you get back together with your ex.

Your friends and family may have excellent advice based on their past experiences. That's the problem. It's always based on their past experiences, not yours. Every relationship has slightly different dynamics, and no two people are alike. So, be gracious, and remember that they are only trying to help. Use whatever advice applies to your situation, and don't worry about the rest. With that in mind, here are some of the basics you can use to rebuild your relationship.

Your first reaction to a break up may be to talk to your ex into getting back together with you. Wait! Not so fast! First, you both need some time to relax and come to terms with what has really happened. If you act too quickly, and your ex isn't ready, then you will be doing more harm than good. Second, you don't want to come across as being desperate. By calling constantly, even with the best of intentions, you will appear needy and desperate. Doing these things won't make your ex interested in getting back with you, and may only serve to push them farther away.

Another one of the basics is honesty. You have to be honest with yourself and your ex if you want to have a serious chance to win love back. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it's smart, too. You should assume you will be getting back together, and therefore it's only logical that you wouldn't want to build your new and improved relationship on lies.

The next part of the game plan is to review what went wrong. Be sure to get below the surface. You need to get to the root of the problem. Once you have a good idea of what really went wrong, you will be able to make it better. You will also be in a better position to avoid making the same mistakes again.

As the old song says, you need to "accentuate the positive". Now, that doesn't mean you should live in an imaginary world where nothing bad ever happens; that would be foolish. However, you should try to see the best qualities in your ex and give them the benefit of the doubt. By focusing on the things you love about them, you will be nurturing that love and help it to grow. What better way can there be to win love back?

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