What to Do If You Want Your Ex Back

It is within the collective human nature to want to find a lifelong mate. Once you think you have found them, you are filled with a sense of calm and happiness; it's in your DNA. However, the sad reality is that even the best of relationships can go wrong and end in a break up.

The good news is that not all ended relationships have to stay that way, some can be fixed. If you have gone through a break up and would like to get your ex back, then you will find the following tips to be useful.

Before you do anything else, you need to collect your thoughts and clear your mind if you really want your ex back. That's not saying that this will be easy to do, it won't be. But it's necessary to be able to look at things in an objective manner.

This can be difficult to do when all you can think about is your ex and how much you messed up, or how much you want them back. Do your best to get rid of those thoughts; to get rid of all the static. Doing this will, make everything else that follows that much easier.

Another mistake a lot of people make when trying to patch things up is to make empty promises. Or, worse, not being themselves. They will do anything to get their ex back, including being phoney or changing their principles and character to appease their ex.

Look, it's simple...your ex will need to love you for who you are. If they don't then you need to face the facts and move on. Don't be a piece of putty in their hands. Instead, be confident in whom you are and they will come to appreciate your sense of dignity.

Changing things up is another good way to get your ex back. This is not the same as selling out. You were part of the reason that you two broke up. If neither of you do anything to change or grow, then getting back together will be a mistake.

You both need to work on improving things. However, you can only control what you do, so do your best to make whatever improvements you can. Your ex will notice, and may follow suit, leading to a better relationship than you had before.

Learn from the past, but don't dwell in it. Sometimes when people try to get back together, they like to pretend that nothing bad happened. They do this intentionally with the idea of starting with a perfectly clean slate.

While they mean well, this almost always leads to more problems than it solves. The better way to go about it is to be realistic. Admit bad things happened, apologizing if necessary and then do what you can, to not repeat those mistakes.

Make a plan. Yes, you may want to just jump right into to patching things up. However, your chances of getting your ex back will be much higher if you have a plan for how you will go about. This will keep you on track and make the process of getting back together run effortlessly and go faster.

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Discover How To Get Your Ex Back the Easy Way

It's a fact of life: most of us will, at one point or another, break up with somebody we love. Break ups are sort of strange. Whereas other things we do in life become easier the more we do them, that's not the case with breaking up. No matter how many times you've done it in the past, each break up is at least as difficult as any previous ones you've experienced. Another fact of life is that after a break up people will want to get their ex back.

The majority of relationships follow a pattern. Everything is great when you first meet. Then you get comfortable with each other, making some adjustments to get along. Then those things you didn't notice at first start to become amplified, leading to arguments.

The saying, "familiarity breeds contempt" applies in such cases. It takes effort to accept each other for who you are. That's how to make a relationship work. But, even if you are doing your best, your partner may want to break up. Here are a few things you can do to win back your ex if the worst should happen.

Apologize. This is a difficult step for some people. Either they don't think they did anything wrong, or they don't know what they specifically did that was wrong. Before apologizing you need to know what you did, and why it was wrong. Also, be careful that your sincere apology doesn't lead to an argument. Be honest, be humble.

Talk. As soon as your ex is ready to discuss things, you should start talking. Do not force this on your ex, that won't work. Again, be careful that the things you talk about don't end up in an argument. Stay alert as to how the discussion is going and change course if you have to.

Remain calm and stick to the facts. Do not, under any circumstances, start blaming your ex for anything. That's a sure way to stay broken up. You are simply talking things over like to calm, cool and collected adults.

Give them some space. Sure, the first thing you want to do is see them again, to plead your case, to talk things over; but they also need to be receptive to seeing you again. People deal with things at a different rate, and your ex may not be as far along as you are. This isn't a bad thing. It just means they need some more space and time to sort things out before they are ready to talk to you. Give them that space. You will know when the time is right by how willing they are to talk to you.

As the song says, "breaking up is hard to do". It isn't easy. And the happier you were together, the harder it will be to be apart. Once you know the right way to approach things, the better your odds will be to get your ex back and to be happier than ever.

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The Smart Way to Ending a Relationship 800 AM - Go To Work!

9:15 AM - Office meeting

1:30 PM - Sales presentation

6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other

Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty hilarious. While we may not plan a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they almost certainly should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do.

Relationships characteristically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the understanding that it's over, and do so at the same time. It's almost as if it happens by magic. It's also the rarest. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late.

So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?

 

 

The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don't assume that the first reason you come up with is the real cause. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and precise idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be functioning from a position of honesty, and that's key.

Set a time to discuss things that is suitable for both of you. If at all possible do this in person. It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exceptions are long-distance relationships where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.

Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get self-protective, and don't make the other person distrustful, either. If they start crying, be empathetic. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to control you. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.

Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always an option. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking up doesn't have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be glad that you did.

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Restoring Trust in Relationships after an Affair

This is not intended to be a discussion on the Bible, or anything religious, but I'd like to raise a specific point. According to the Bible, there are only two acceptable reasons for divorce, and one of those is a cheating spouse. The point is that unfaithfulness is a serious offence. Conventional perception states that people should split up if one of them has been adulterous. It doesn't have to be that way if both parties are prepared to do what it takes. Restoring trust in relationships isn't easy, but it can be achieved. Here are some ideas on how to make that come about. 

The main thing to keep in mind as you go through the process of restoring trust is that it requires changes in the behaviour and attitudes of both people in the relationship. Even after something as severe as an affair, a relationship can be saved. The key is to start with a little trust, and continue to build on it. 

Before you can start rebuilding trust, you need to take a straightforward look at what went wrong. Our natural inclination is to blame the other person, and they are likely at fault to some extent, but the only person you have total control over is yourself; consequently, you need to get to the root of what you may have done to end the relationship. Once you find the cause of the problem, you can take steps to fix it.

For example, if your partner had an affair, what was it that they were looking for from someone else? What was it that you weren't providing? You will need to improve these things if you want to have a future together. Don't get me wrong, it's never right to deceive, but we are trying to restore a relationship and work on trust. While you can't disengage the past, you can certainly generate a better future.

The next step is to start really gaining some faith again. One of the best things you can do is assume the other person is being truthful. By doing this, you will get trust in return. Of course, that is easy to say, but much harder in practice. So, the trick here is to take tiny steps. Tell your significant other that you will be home by 7:00 PM, and then be home by 7:00 PM (or a little early if at all possible). It doesn't have to be anything big, just start demonstrating your capacity to stick to your word.

Over time, these small steps start to mount up and build on one another. But, you must keep doing it and always follow through on what you say you're going to do. Excuses will not cut it at this point. In fact, if there is any chance, any uncertainty in your mind at all, then it's better to not say anything at all.

Restoring trust in relationships is not an easy undertaking. And the more severe the reason for the lack of trust, the harder it will be to recover it. Keep your focus on trust, and keep taking those small steps, and before you know it, you will be happy once more.

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Help! What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. Falling out of love is a wretched feeling. After a break up, it's perfectly natural to ask a question like, "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?" It is also normal to ponder on all of the things that went wrong and what you could have done better. This thinking then leads to thoughts of pleading, apologizing or otherwise petitioning your case until your former loved one is ready to take you back. 

However, even though these things may play a part in getting back together, and unquestionably seem commonsense, they frequently lead nowhere. None of the methods mentioned previous get to the root cause of the break up. That's why they aren't enough to patch things up. The not-so-good news is that uncovering the real reasons behind a break up can be difficult. So, do your best to dig deep and find out what really went wrong, but also understand that the true causes may remain hidden. If that's the case, don't worry, there are still steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back, though it may be a bit more complex.

Forget about it! About what? About her, about your relationship, about the idea of getting back together. At least for now. You both need the space and time to come to terms with what has happened. Do not expend any energy on making up, at least not yet. Hang out with your friends (if they're single, so much the better), pursue a new hobby, or throw yourself into a project at work. Whatever it takes to stop you from focusing on your relationship… keep busy! Regrettably, you can't predict how long this step will take. The best advice, then, is to not force it, and you will know when the time is right to move on to the next step.

Now that you have a cushion of time and space you have something you desperately need: Perception. You will now have to do your best to be objective, and ask yourself if you really want to get back with your ex. See, that's why you need time. If you try to answer this question too soon after breaking up, then you won't get a precise answer. Assuming you make your mind up that you would like to get your ex back, you can go to the following step.

The final part of answering the question "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to contact her and start making things right. The secret here is to not be too forceful, to not do too much. If you waited long enough, she has had enough time to sort things out as well. When you finally meet again, talk things over calmly. Acknowledge any transgression, but remain positive and resolution oriented. A negative frame of mind will lead to arguments and decrease your chances of getting back together. While you can't alter the past, you can learn from it and do what needs to be done to have a blissful future together.

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Relationship Advice for Men - It’s Evolutionary

So much different relationship advice for men is out there that it can be difficult to figure out what really works. So, what do men need to know if they are interested in a more relationship? The most important bit of advice is to look at what women really want, based on their behaviour, as opposed to assuming what they say is 100% accurate.

The question then becomes one of being able to identify what their actions are. And the best way to do that is to observe the type of men they end up with; regardless of what they say they want. While women may say they want a sensitive man with a good sense of humour, and one that listens; they go out with men who aren't sensitive, make plenty of money, take over conversations, and may or may not be all that funny.

The reason why women do this may astonish you. It's not because they don't know what they really want, it's because they don't know that they know what they really want. Okay, that may sound confusing, but it isn't. What we are talking about is the subconscious mind, and that's where the best relationship advice for men comes from.

It all comes down to one thing: The propagation of the species. This has been the underlying factor since the dawn of humanity, and its power is found in both men and women. While having children with a particular man may be the furthest thing from her mind (as far as she knows), deep down in the subconscious, she is evaluating mates for their capacity to be a good father for her prospective family.

We then get back to the things women say they want. Does having a good sense of humour mean he will be a strong protector and bread winner for the family? Not really. And it's the sense of security and ability to provide food for the family that the subconscious is most concerned with.

Let's take a quick look at biology to see why this is so important. Men have the ability to reproduce for, in theory, from the onset of puberty until they die; that's a big window of opportunity. On the other hand, women have a much smaller window in which they can viably have children. Therefore, women can't afford to gamble, and need a partner that will be able to provide for the long-term.

In today's world, these deep-seated desires manifest themselves in various ways. In past centuries women may have dreamt of marrying royalty, as they were the ultimate providers. Today, princes and kings have been replaced by athletes, celebrities and rock stars. Another bit of evidence is the engagement ring. It not only shows that the man has the ability to provide, but also that he is willing to share the fruits of his labour (and you thought it was simply romantic).

So, when it comes to relationship advice for men, don't worry about all the stagnant and conflicting viewpoints. All you really need to do is dig down to the subconscious level to see what women really want, no matter what they think they want.

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Write Your Own Heartbroken Poem to Heal

There are few things that compare to being in a happy, loving relationship. Being able to share your life with somebody else is on of the highlights of our existence. But, if you have ever broken up with somebody, then you know that the reverse is also true; being alone is heartbreaking.

Writing a poem as the result of being heartbroken isn't all that uncommon. Perhaps you have written them in other situations where you have been sad about something, such as the loss of a family member or pet, leaving friends behind or other events. Although it seems that nothing else inspires the writing of such sad poetry as a divorce or break up.

Why do people turn to poetry? Because it is such a special method of self-expression. Also, as long as you aren't worried about being published, you can write whatever you choose. No need to worry about how good it is.

There's also no need to understand the rules of different poetic forms. Forget meter and rhyming schemes and all of the other conventions of academic poetry. The goal is to feel better, not get a good grade. You are expressing yourself, not trying to conform. On the other hand, some people like the rules, and find it helps them to better share their feelings on paper.

To get over the pain of a break up it is vital to face the pain head on as soon as possible. You may want to run away from the situation or try to avoid the pain, but it will not go away on its own - it needs to be confronted. This can be difficult, and writing things down in the form of a heartbroken poem can help get you on the right path to feeling better after breaking up with somebody you cared deeply about.

So how do you do it? Just start writing. Use imagery and special words that capture how you feel, or use simple words in a simple way. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

You are doing this for your benefit. Do not try to write like the classic poets of centuries gone by. Be you. If you like, you can ever write everything down in a prose style, and then go through and make it more poetic. Whatever works for you.

Now that you have one poem done, write another one, then another. Explore different parts of your painful experience. Don't wallow in your pity...get it out of your system. While it may seem like you are just writing words, many people find writing poetry to be a very emotional experience. At the same time it can also be cathartic. Leading you from pain to happiness as you write more and more.

You do not ever have to share, but if you feel you would like to, or that it could help others, then by all means, go ahead and share. You can show them to people directly or post them online. Furthermore, if you want it, some sites will let others critique your work. But when it comes to your heartbroken poem it's up to you.

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