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Saturday 21 May 2011

Simple Steps to Saving a Relationship

There is something quite wonderful about being involved in a loving relationship. When things are going well, it is almost impossible to describe how great it is, especially… if you try to explain it to somebody who hasn’t ever been in love. But, sadly, there can be times when things aren't going right.

In fact, they can go terribly wrong, and before you know it, you are suddenly looking for ways of saving a relationship. Whether you are still together and hoping to save things before you are apart forever, or you are already broken up and want to make things right, what follows should help you to get through it.

The first thing you should know is that all of the feelings you are having are completely normal. There will be ups and downs, and all kinds of difficult things to cope with, but knowing you're not actually going crazy (even though you may think you are) can be comforting in a small way. It may take a while to work through these feelings, but it can be done.

This may sound obvious, but a lot of people overlook this step: You have to know exactly what's wrong or going wrong before you can fix it. The tricky part is that while we are good at recognizing symptoms, we are not always that good at identifying their causes. That means you will have to do some digging to get to the real root of the problems in your relationship, but it will be worth it.

Once you identify what the issues affecting your relationship are, it's time to discuss them with your partner (or your ex if you are already broken up). A relationship is, by definition, made up of more than one person.

For this reason, it will take both of you to work towards saving a relationship. And the only way that can happen is if you are both aware of what the problems are. Also, if your partner has identified some problems, be sure to listen with an open mind. What counts here is that the two of you are communicating.

You have now identified the problem areas of your relationship, and shared them with your partner. The next thing to do is work on a solution. Now, each problem has its own way of solving it, but there is one overriding principle that will make things better. The principle is to keep love an active force in your relationship. By doing this, you will be able to be humble when you make mistakes, forgiving when your partner makes mistakes, and respectful of each other.

As you can see, saving a relationship can be done when you know how. None of the steps are complicated, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily easy, either. However, if you really love your partner, and want to make things work out for the best, then it will never feel like work. Instead, it will feel like you are doing your part to have a happy future together with someone you love.

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Friday 20 May 2011

How Do I Get My Ex Back If She Left Me for Someone Else

Look, guys are supposed to be tough, right? A little thing like breaking up with a woman is just a part of life, and no big deal. Maybe that's the stereotype of what men go through, but in real life, break ups are just as hard on men as they are on women. Plus, if she left you for another guy, that just adds insult to injury, it's a blow to your pride. But, yet, you're finding that you still have feelings for her and now you're asking "How do I get my ex back if she left me for someone else?" Here are some things to think about when considering that question.

Not so fast! As a man, your emotions can play tricks on you, so take a step back and assess the situation as though you were an outside observer. Then ask yourself if you really want her back. If you do, great. However, if you're just not 100% sure then try seeing other women for a while. Don't do it to make her jealous; that's never a good reason. But, if you find the company of a new woman keeps you from thinking about your ex, then it's probably time to move on. Okay, from here on out, we'll assume that you really want her back.

Here's the first part of your game plan: Review what caused you to break up. Sure, she may have left you for another guy, but why? Is it because he has something you don't? To be blunt, yes. But, you also have something he doesn't. Regardless, by figuring out what happened, you'll have an easier time determining what you can do better. Everybody makes mistakes, but not everybody learns from them. You just need to be one of the people that learns from them.

Time out! Now that you know you want her back, and have an idea of what went wrong, you may want to get right back into the game. But, you need to take a time out. She needs time to sort things out, and you do, too. Besides, given time, she may realize how much of a mistake the other guy is, and try to make up with you.

Get back in the game. The good thing about time outs is that they're temporary. Now it's time to start trying to get her back and that all comes down to communication. You have to decide if you're going to be a spectator, or a player (in the best meaning of the word). You can make yourself wondering what she's up to, or if she'll ever come to her senses and call you. Or, you can get right back into the thick of things and find out for yourself.

Be a good sport. You've decided you're not going to sit on the sidelines, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a jerk. You need to take things one step at a time, be calm, treat her with respect and be honest. All of those things will give you a solid foundation on which to rebuild your relationship. And that is the best answer to the question "How do I get my ex back if she left me for someone else?"

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Thursday 19 May 2011

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Without Scaring Him Away

After a break up… it is very common for a woman to ask, "how can I get my ex boyfriend back?" There are, no doubt, tons of different tips and tricks that people have used over the years. It doesn't matter what the reasons for splitting up are, it's still an unpleasant experience to go through.

Let's face it, break ups happen, even when we do our best to try to stay together. The good news is that no matter why you broke up, there is a good possibility that you'll b able to get back together. The trick is to make your move without scaring him away. Here are five tips you can put to use to increase your chances of success.

Tip #1 - If you really want to know the answer to the question of “How can I get my ex boyfriend back without scaring him away?” the first thing you need to do is pay attention to what he says and does.  Whenever you talk to him, take note of not only what he says, but his body language as well. Your goal is to try to figure out what he's really thinking, not just what he's saying (there's often a big difference). You will be trying gauge if he is still interested in you, and if he may be receptive to getting back together.

Tip #2 - Don't play all of your cards at once. Now, to some people this may sound like playing games, but it really isn't. More than anything you need to be honest if you want any chance of having a happy future together. However, you don't have to tell him everything you know; so long as it doesn't cross the line into being deceitful, then go for it! Also, it's best to not spill everything all at once because it's too easy to blab about how much you still love him and want to spend eternity with him. It's okay to feel that way, but it's also a good way of scaring him away.

Tip #3 - Watch how he behaves when he's with other women. Don't be jealous if you see him with other women, as they may be completely platonic friendships. His actions around other women will be a clue as to how he still feels about you. If he puts you down and says bad things about you, that's a bad sign. If he says good things about you in front of other women, then that's a good sign. He may not even be aware of it, but you know how to read the signs.

Tip #4 - Don't forget about you. You still have your own life to live. Show him you are not a weak, depressed human being who lacks confidence and self-worth. Instead, show him the kind of woman he's missing out on. Yes, it's that easy.


Tip #5 - The final tip if you want to know "how can I get my ex boyfriend back without scaring him away" is to not play mind games. It's not fair to him, it's not fair to you, and it's more trouble than the effort it takes. Being respectful and honest is always the best way to go.

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Wednesday 18 May 2011

How To Get Back An Ex With Looks Alone The Easy Way

There are many reasons why previously good relationships go bad, and bad to the point of leading to a break up. All too often, when we look back, we realize that the reason wasn't all that serious, and was more of a temporary thing, and somewhat silly.

Now, if your looks happen to be one of your special features, or if you just want to look good, then you have one possible way to get your ex back if you know how. What follows are some simple suggestions that will show you how to get back an ex with looks alone. While you have other positive attributes, you can play up your looks enough that you won't have to rely on anything else.

Here's what you need to know:

 
The very first rule is to dress well. Perhaps your ex was able to tolerate your dressing poorly when you were together, but you need to change that if it was the case. You need to worker harder to win back an ex, and how you dress is an extension of yourself. Use what you wear to highlight your better features. Now, you don't want to overdo it to the point of looking cheap or tacky, but you should definitely use your clothing to make yourself more attractive to your ex. Good or bad, they will notice, so you may as well get noticed for the right reasons.

Flirt a little with your ex. A little lingering eye contact, nice smile, a wink in their direction, or send a coy note online or on paper. Now, just as it goes with not overdoing it when it comes to how you dress, the same is true for flirting. You don't want to cross the line into anything that gives the wrong signals. You want to show interest and get them interested, nothing more.

Go ahead and strut. Take note of your posture and make sure it's good. Hold your head high, walk with confidence, but be a bit loose at the same time. You may feel bummed out after a break up, but if you want to know how to get back an ex with looks alone, then this extends to a confident posture as well.

Use the way your carry yourself to bring attention to your body to increase the desire your ex will feel. One simple way to do this for women is by swinging your slightly as you walk. For men, walk with your shoulders back, chest out, and stomach in.

Let things cool down for a while. You don't want to start doing all of these things the day after you break up. Instead, as the old saying goes, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." In other words, if you give them enough time to start missing you, the next time they see you they will find you even more attractive than they would otherwise.

While it can be difficult, try to keep things in perspective. You may not want to hear it, but it's true: breaking up is not the end of the world. Play your cards right and the question of how to get back an ex with looks alone will be easily answered. It may take some work, but it's entirely possible to be happy again.

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Tuesday 17 May 2011

Overcoming Jealousy and Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship

Overcoming jealousy and dealing with jealousy in a relationship is a lot easier when you understand why it’s happening. In this article I will attempt to explain why it’s happening and how to deal with it.

First of all… you should know that jealousy is a normal emotion. Even Freud states that a person would be abnormal if they didn’t experience jealousy at some stage in their life. Freud compares it to bereavement in as much as it would be abnormal for someone to not grieve when someone they care about dies. Jealousy is the same in as much as it would be a bit strange if you didn’t care whether the person you loved shared intimacy with you or someone else.

Now I know what you are going to say… people in open relationships share each other momentarily with other sexual partners. This is done with consent and of course is not the norm. Swingers as we call them in the UK make up only a fraction of the population and they see the sex they have with others as just that… sex. Not intimacy or love. When we are jealous it’s because we are afraid of losing the love of a person, because we want to be the centre of their world and when it appears that we are not, we feel insecure and this leads to jealousy.

The levels of jealousy will ultimately depend on how insecure you are and this is, according to Freud governed by your childhood. If you were constantly let down as a child… subconsciously you will assume that it is going to happen all the time as an adult. If on the other hand you had a stable and loving childhood where nothing nasty happened and your parents always did as they promised… your subconscious will assume most people can be trusted.

Overcoming jealousy is about overcoming your own insecurities and controlling the demons your childhood created in your subconscious. The easy way to deal with the green eyed monster is to not care at all. Some people can do this and it shows in their relationships. They prefer not to give too much of themselves in case they get hurt. This causes a lot of relationships to collapse over time. Men are particularly good at this and can get away with it because of the macho stance that is almost expected by society.

It is a lot harder for women to take this stance as women are more caring by nature. This is evolution and dates back to early mankind as the woman had to care and protect the young sometimes from the men. Women are of course more affectionate, even to one another than men are. Women have no problem cuddling their mates but men have to be at a sports event or drunk to do the same… although this is changing in the 21st century.

Take a step back when feeling jealous and analyse whether you are being reasonable. Your partner just talking to someone who is attractive is not a reason to be jealous. So many people who are insecure react on very little evidence. Unless you have concrete evidence of an affair… put all jealous thoughts out of your mind. Don’t check emails, don’t check texts or your partners smart phone, this will not help you. You could miss understand a text or email and cause a massive problem in your relationship when there was a perfectly logical explanation.

As you go through life you will have to deal with many trials and tribulations. The average person has three major relationships in their lives and we never quite know what life has in store for us. Don’t try and control it… because you can’t… so enjoy the time you have together and don’t be melodramatic or let your insecurities spoil your life. Concentrate on making the one you love happier than anyone else could ever do and you will have a long and happy relationship.

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How to Make Your Ex Want You Back After a Breakup

It's a fact of life: We fall in love, but we also have our hearts broken. Perhaps you have had a special relationship that has come to an end. Or has it? Don't worry, wanting your ex back, to try again, is absolutely normal. Sometimes these feelings come right away, other times they may take longer to surface after the breakup. If want to know, "how to make your ex want you back", you are not alone. But wondering isn't going to get you back together. Instead, you need to take action to make it happen. What follows are a few tips to help you do just that.

Before you can start down the road to getting back together, before you can answer the question of "how to make your ex want you back", you need to take a look at what led to your splitting up. You can only fix something if it's broken, but you can also only fix it if you know where it's broken. Understanding what made you break up will help to prevent you from making the same mistakes if you happen to get back together.

Next, you need to decide if you really want your ex back as much as you think you do. Of course, your initial reaction may be that definitely want them back. However, dig deep and be honest with yourself. Do you want to get back together because they are gone, because you feel that you can't have them? Or, maybe you saw your ex with somebody else and now your jealousy is getting the better of you. Those aren't very good reasons, and will only lead to another break up. In short, be sure you want your ex back for the right reasons.

One thing that helps is to get back to what made you fall in love with each other the first time. Rediscovering those qualities in your ex and in yourself will go a long way towards making up. Do your best to highlight those things within yourself, and to focus on them in your former partner. After all, they say "love conquers all" for a reason.

Before you jump right back into things, it's better to meet under platonic circumstances. You can still have fun, but make sure it's as just friends and with no strings attached. You also need to make sure that your first meetings are in a non-threatening environment and on neutral ground. You don't want your ex to feel as though they are being pressured or manipulated during the meeting.

How to make your ex want you back after a break up… It all comes down to looking at the relationship that was, the one you want to have and actually meeting up with your ex. Do whatever you can to keep things positive. That way your ex will associate you with the good feelings they're experiencing. Over time, things will take their course. Do it right and that course will lead to getting back together.

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Monday 16 May 2011

Signs of A Cheating Boyfriend - 5 Things To Look For

The idea of a perfect relationship is both flawed and rare. Few relationships are perfect, with both parties of the relationship slipping up or causing problems. There are certain boyfriends in relationships that will cheat on their girlfriends. While some of these boyfriends are obvious about their cheating ways, others have managed to hide what they have done. It is important for a girlfriend to understand the signs of a cheating boyfriend, as it can help them to feel comfortable and secure in their relationship.

Extensive Stories

One of the main things to look for in a cheating boyfriend is the lie. Your boyfriend is going to lie about different situations, as he does not want you to catch on to what he is doing. Those who are cheating are going to create long, intricate stories. These stories are created in hopes of seeming legitimate; the more details to a story, the more likely it is to be real. If your boyfriend is usually short, but starts to tell long and intricate stories, take note.

Obvious Lies

Some men are better at lying than others. While some will be able to hide their lies, others will be completely obvious, making it simple and easy for you to spot this sign of cheating. If your boyfriend is obvious with his lies, call him on them; he may admit to what he has been doing on the spot.

Awkward Smells

Was your boyfriend supposed to be at a smoke-free restaurant, but comes back with a smoke-tainted jacket? Was he supposed to be out with the guys, but comes in smelling like female perfume? If you note awkward smells, your boyfriend may be cheating on you.

Changed Attitudes

Cheaters will often change their attitudes on things. They are dealing with the stress of an affair, and their mindset may change. If your boyfriend starts to act differently toward you, take note. While it's not proof positive that he is cheating; it may be an indication.

Changed Behaviours

Cheaters are also likely to change their behaviours. If your boyfriend starts going to places at new or awkward times, take note. If your boyfriend does not act sexually attracted to you anymore, take note. Again, while this may not mean he is cheating on you, it can be an indicator of cheating or other relationship issues.

It is incredibly important for girlfriends to understand that they cannot simply accuse their boyfriend of cheating on them. You need to have hard evidence before you actually accuse your boyfriend of being unfaithful. These signs of a cheating boyfriend will simply help women to understand whether or not they even need to worry about their boyfriend cheating on them. If you notice any of these different signs, you should simply be more alert as to the actions of your boyfriend.

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How to Make an Ex Want You Back After A Breakup

After a break up it's not uncommon to ask yourself "how to make an ex want you back after a breakup?" It's a fair question and one that shows you still have feelings for them. However, the question also comes with a healthy dose of uncertainty. The good news is that there are some things you can do to have a better idea of your chances of getting back together.

It all comes down to communication. You need to be talking to each other to get an idea of how things are going. With that in mind, here a few ways to use communication to your advantage.

Flirt a little! The purpose of doing this is not to tease him; it's to see if he returns the flirting. If you want to know how to make an ex want you back, then this is a great place to start.

When talking, be sure to maintain eye contact. At the same time, see how well he keeps eye contact with you. Also, be sure to see if there is any kind of pattern to when he breaks eye contact. For example, if he looks away any time you mention your prior relationship together, then that's probably a bad sign.

If your ex happens to be the one initiating contact, even if it's under the guise of small talk, then that shows that he's interested in talking to you. As long as he is willing to talk, there is hope for getting back together.

See how they react whenever you mention your breakup, or see if they mention it in the first place. The next step is to listen to what words they choose when talking about it. Even if they are seemingly remorseful or claiming to be sorry about it, the actual words they use can be a better indicator of their true feelings.

Don't try to make him jealous, but feel free to drop hints that you are ready and willing to explore other options. Again, note how he responds to this. You have to be subtle when doing this, otherwise he will get the idea that it is permanently over, and that he can move on, too.

Do something that may draw a compliment from him, and see if he takes the bait. For example, a new outfit or a new hairdo. If he wouldn't have commented on such things when you were together, but he does now, you can take that as a positive hint of getting back together in the near future.

And now, saving the best for last. So far we have been talking about verbal communication, but there is one other aspect that is worth being on the alert for, and that's being physical. Easy! That doesn't mean anything overt. Instead, when you're talking pay attention to "accidental" brushes against your arm, touches on your hands, or even a playful elbow. The question of "how to make an ex want you back after a break up?" is wrought with confusion and trepidation, but if he's touching you, then you're sure to be back together sooner, rather than later.

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Sunday 15 May 2011

5 Questions to Ask In Serious Boyfriend Girlfriend Relationships

There are plenty of different types of relationships in the world of dating. There are some relationships that are only about sexual relations and intimacy. There are other relationships that are simply for fun, bringing together friends as a way to enjoy time together. Finally, there are serious boyfriend girlfriend relationships that could easily turn into something special.

It is important for both parties to be open and honest in these serious relationships. If you find that you are in a serious relationship, you need to ask your significant other a few questions.

What Are Your Goals?

If your relationship is starting to get serious, you need to talk about goals. You need to ask your boyfriend about his various goals to understand where you fit in with his life. By talking about his goals, you can work to help him to reach those goals. Try to talk about your own goals as well; this mutual understanding can help to make your relationship stronger.

Am I In Your Future?

If you are in a long and serious relationship, you may have questions about the future. While it may be risky to do so, ask your boyfriend about the future. Ask him if he can see you in his future plans. His answers may help you to better understand the status of your relationship.

What Do You Think About Kids?

As relationships go on, feelings get stronger. You need to make sure that you and your boyfriend are on the same page before you get too emotionally vested. If you want to have kids, talk to him about it. While you are not saying that you want kids right away, you are letting him know that you see kids in your future. If you are on a different page, as far as kids are concerned, you may rethink your relationship.

What Do You Think About Marriage?

The same can be said for marriage; talk to your boyfriend about his thoughts on marriage. If he says that he never wants to get married, the relationship may not work out for you. You simply need to understand that your feelings on marriage in general are the same.

How Serious Are We?

There is nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend about the seriousness of your relationship. Ask him about the seriousness of your relationship. He may surprise you by telling you that he is more serious that you anticipated. He may also be less serious about your relationship, causing you to question the relationship as a whole.

These are just a few of the questions that you should ask in serious boyfriend girlfriend relationships. These questions will help you to have a better understanding of one another; a crucial step in the overall process of a serious relationship. These various questions will help you to understand exactly how serious your relationship is.

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5 Ideas for How to Write a Love Letter to Your Boyfriend

Love letters have been the oldest form of romance for centuries. Man relied on love letters to write to his wife or girlfriend during battles, or when away on business. Before the age of technology and emails, humans relied on love letters to tell their loved ones how they felt about them.

One of the most romantic things that you can do for your boyfriend is to bring back the love letter. Taking a few minutes to hand write a letter to your boyfriend can show him how much you like him, and how much you appreciate him. Use these 5 ideas for how to write a love letter to your boyfriend to kick-start your letter writing.

Write Poetry

 
Poetry is artistic and beautiful, making it the perfect choice for those who are looking to write a love letter to their boyfriend. Take the time to make the poem romantic and unique; the more thought that you put into the poetry, the more meaningful and powerful the love letter.

Write in Code

If your boyfriend is not the romantic type, give him a love letter that is unique and interesting. Take the time to write out a code to the letter, and write the love letter itself in code. This helps to take some of the seriousness out of the love letter, making it more light hearted and fun.

Make it Long

It is important for some to say as much as possible when writing a love letter. Writing a long love letter will help to show your boyfriend how much he means to you. Take the time to craft out the structure of your letter; a rambling love letter is not as romantic as a well thought out and well written letter.
Make a Ransom Note Love Letter

Want to spice it up a bit? Write a love letter in the form of a ransom note. Cut out different letters from your favourite magazines to create the perfect love letter for your boyfriend. This is another love letter form that helps to make it more light-hearted, and less serious.

Send it in the Mail

It is easy for many to write the letter to their boyfriend and leave it where they will find it. It is more romantic and cute for a love letter to be received through the mail. Even if you live with your boyfriend, put the letter in the mail. Your boyfriend will get excited that he received a letter in the mail, and will be surprised and impressed with your romantic gesture.

There are plenty of different styles of love letters that you can use to be original and romantic. These five ideas for how to write a love letter to your boyfriend are just a stepping-stone; expand on these ideas to create the most interesting, unique, and romantic love letters possible.


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