Dealing with Breakups Suck – Move Quickly

Finding the best ways of dealing with breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case ‘practice may make perfect’ but no one wants to endure the pain, confusion and degradation once, let alone numerous times during their lives. The fact is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it occurs.

There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help diminish the pain when dealing with breakups, or at least sidetrack you from it for a little while. There are a lot of things that can do just that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using negative things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.

1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" self-pitying. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be smarting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life.  Before you move out of this phase though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex, you probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the cellar or attic, out of sight.

2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are entertaining (or at least you used to think they were pleasurable before this pain started).  Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can.  It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help a great deal.

One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt a blameless person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until you’re truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.

Dealing with breakups suck, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as rapidly and easily as possible and believe that someday you will meet someone wonderful, again.

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