Ending a Relationship on Good Terms

Ending a relationship on good terms is not always possible. It's so easy to second guess yourself and wonder if you're making a horrible mistake. Then comes the guilt you'll feel by causing someone you used to love, and maybe still do, all that hurt. Where should you have 'the talk'? When?  What will you say? What should you make sure not to say?  It's never easy to break up, but with some forethought you can lessen the hurt and clumsiness a little bit.

Do yourself a favour and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It's very hard, sometimes impossible; to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you're sure this is the best thing to do...before you do it.  Don't go off in a sulk because the two of you just had a fight. You don't want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you've jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

Of course, if you're being abused, don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground.  Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence.  Make sure you're really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don't expect that you'll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It's easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you?  Really?  You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you're still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that's no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex.  Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don't be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You've waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don't lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you're already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don't back down. You've given this a lot of thought and you're sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you’ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you've done it and the two of you are through, don't give into temptation and call them, and don't take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you're the one who ended the relationship it's up to you to be the 'strong' one and cut off all contact.  You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, but don't. Make a clean break.

You can't take away all the pain and make things better for your ex when it comes to ending a relationship on good terms, but you can handle the situation with thought and compassion to make things as easy as possible. And you should, because karma has a habit of biting you in the posterior.

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