6 Sure Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

If there is one thing that is vital to any successful relationship, it's trust. It makes sense to do what you can to improve trust if you want to be a happy couple. The funny thing is that the things we often think will work end up having the opposite effect. So, what can you do? You can start by following any of the following six tips to help you build trust in a relationship. 

1- "Spice things up?" That's what your well-meaning friends will try to tell you do at the first sign of trouble. While this may work in some cases, it may not be the best course of action if you are trying to gain more trust. What often works is being predictable. That's because it goes hand in hand with expectations. It's easier to trust somebody if you have some idea of what they will do in certain situations. That's what we're talking about here. You don't have to be a boring, mindless machine, but do try to have some level of predictability.

2 - Congruity. What's that? That's just a fancy way of saying that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. No matter how good you think you are at saying something, if you don't really feel that way your body language won't match. Criminologists who specialize in lie detection are trained to spot these incongruities. If they can do it, how much better will your partner be at it? After all, they know you much better. Nobody likes a phony. So be sure your body language matches your words if you want to build trust in a relationship.

3 - Give to get. Ever wish your partner would trust you more? There's one sure way to make that happen, and it's by trusting them first. It doesn't matter if you think you're more trustworthy or not. It is incredibly difficult to trust somebody who doesn't trust you. Believe in your partner. Try to catch your significant other telling the truth, and also operate from the expectation that they are telling the truth in the first place. It will help, and keep things running more smoothly.

4 - Be an open book. Keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty and is counterproductive to building trust. If it helps, assume your partner will find out eventually anyway; so they may as well learn the truth from you. Simple.

5 - What do you need? Your partner isn't a mind reader. You have to be clear as to what your needs are, as to what you want, and so on. It's also important to assert yourself when you need to. Again, don't leave it to your partner to guess. They will usually be wrong and will lead to a loss of trust.

6 - Grow as a couple. Just like a garden, a relationship needs the right kind of care and cultivation for it to be bountiful Go through new experiences, good or bad, together. Be there for each other. By doing this you will deepen the level of trust in your relationship. Decide that it is indeed important to build trust in a relationship and work together to make it happen. You will be a stronger, happier couple as a result.

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How to Find the Best Books on Relationships

The ideal relationship is hard to come by. Nobody's perfect, so even the best of intentions aren't always enough to keep two people together. If your relationship is on shaky ground, or you've recently split up, then you may be interested in books on relationships. They are among the most popular categories of books, and tons of new titles are thrust upon consumers on a regular basis. So, how can you choose what the best books on relationships are? Good question, let's see if we can answer it.

To begin with, don't let a series of letters after the author's name impress you. All the letters mean is that they have earned a degree of some kind (assuming they credentials are legitimate). It doesn't mean automatically mean they understand relationships. Sure, they may understand what a text book says, and what the leading theories are, but that's not the same as practical experience. That expertise doesn't mean all that much when it comes to real people.

Instead of looking at all the abbreviations after their names, you should try to look for their life experience. How long have they been in a relationship? Did they go through a rough time and then fix it? Have they helped others? Do they offer proof? A quick way to find out is to read the author bio near the front or back of the book and see if these things are mentioned.

This next method for finding the best books on relationships is harder, but worthwhile if you are able to do it. But the books that aren't the same idea re-written in twenty different ways. Some books are so filled with fluff, when they could be summed up in one sentence like, "be nice to each other". Such products aren't worth the money or time it takes to read them. What you need are books that offer new information, and several different solutions. Another way of looking at it is specific steps are better than vague generalities.

Finally, take a look at those who are recommending any of the books you are interested in. Do they have an air of generality about them? Do they all sort of sound the same, maybe written by the same person? Do they mention actual situations and results? Read the recommendations and see how they all add up. Also, see if the people making the comments are from different backgrounds and located in different places.

You will get some idea by the words they use and how they use them. The idea is that the more wide-ranging the happy readers are, the more likely the book will be right for you.

The sad truth is that there are a lot of poorly written books and guides on staying together or getting back together. Don't let that thought discourage you, though. There are plenty of titles counted among the best books on relationships. If you don't find one right away, keep trying, it's worth it.

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5 Best Ways to Get Back At Your Ex

The relationship between two people is a delicate bond. A bond that requires building up and maintenance for the relationship to flourish and be healthy. The sad fact is that breaking up is a reality and is often frustrating, stressful and nerve wracking. After a break up it is perfectly normal for you to want to get back at your ex.  

However, you need to ask yourself if that's really the best thing to do. The art of getting back at your ex can actually lead to getting back together with your ex. By applying the following five tips, your ex may appreciate you more, and want to get back together with you.

1) Stay strong. The last thing you want to do is beg. Acting needy and clingy smacks of hopeless desperation, and is more of a turn off than anything. Also, by being weak you will be giving more power to your ex, and that tends to make things worse. Instead, give your ex the impression that you are doing fine without them by staying strong. Perhaps your ex will realize you have moved on, but they weren't as ready to split as they first thought.

2) Reduce communication. What? You may be wondering how not talking to each other could ever help you get your ex back. It seems so counterintuitive. But in the long run, it can be a smart move. It gives both parties a chance to cool down and reassess what went wrong. Additionally, it gives your ex more time to miss you. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in this case and can lead to being together again.

3) Flexibility is vital. Avoid ultimatums and demands. Instead of arguing, try sympathizing and listening. Go with the flow and be flexible. Your ex may be happy to see that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable. This alone may be enough get them thinking about being a couple again. Plus, it shows them that you don't always have to argue. (Now, how did I know you have argued in the past?)

4) Go out! Look, you broke up...everybody gets that. But that doesn't mean you need to wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from your friends and having a good time. Go out. Live a little. Have fun. Be with friends. You don't need to start dating to prove a point, just have a good time. Not only will doing this be therapeutic, it will also make you look better in the eyes of your ex.

5) Be yourself. That's all. Just be who you are. Chances are that your ex was originally attracted to some element, or elements of who you really are. Be confident in being whoever you are. Nobody likes a phoney, and your ex, in time, may respond to the same things they found so appealing when they first met you. Mending those broken bonds is a sure way to get your ex back for good.

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