Is It Possible To Save My Marriage?

Is it possible to save my marriage? If you're in what feels like a loveless marriage or you're already at the point of separation and/or divorce, you may very well be asking yourself this question. Often times, only one person in the marriage is thinking this question. The other either doesn't even realize there is something wrong, or just wants out altogether. If you are thinking that you need to start working on your marriage because it feels like it's in a downward plunge, or you want to get your marriage back, then here are a few tips you can use.

The first step in order to be able to answer your question of "Will I be able to save my marriage?” is to take a step back from it. Try to analyze your situation objectively, without all the emotions. This is hard, and it is probably harder if you are still in the marriage but do the best you can. Write things down. Try to figure out turning points, mistakes, what went wrong, and how you could have possibly avoided it. If you have already split with your husband or wife, minimize contact as much as possible so that you can have the time to get a more objective perspective. This is not about blaming, but rather about assessing the situation so try to do this without placing blame on yourself or on your spouse. When you are doing this, try to pick out the real reasons for problems, not the symptoms. For example, if one of you cheated, that is not really the problem, but the result of an underlying problem, or several of them. Of course, that just adds to all the problems because a relationship is based on trust, and cheating really violates that. But there were other issues that lead to the cheating as well. You may also want to see a counsellor or therapist who can help you determine some of the problems and give you an unbiased viewpoint.

After the "assessment phase" comes the time for action. This is where you should speak to your spouse about what you've been analyzing. This is most likely not going to be fun so gear up for some opposition and prepare to be strong. You of course want to listen what he or she has to say, but make sure that your voice is heard too. Also be prepared to change your mind if your spouse brings up something that you hadn't realized or thought of. This is not particularly enjoyable, but at least you are communicating. And communication is the key to all relationships, whether it is marriage, friendship, work, etc. Continue to communicate. If it seems that you are continuously butting heads over every little point, and neither of you is willing to listen or give in, then the answer to the question of "Is it possible to save my marriage" might be no. But if you see even a little bit of progress, hold on to that and make it work.

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How Do I Get My Ex Back?

How do I get my ex back is a question that goes through many post-breakup minds. While every relationship and every breakup is different, there are certain strategies that can help you win back your loved one. Many people think that they lost their loved one because of one specific incident or mistake, but the more probable cause was one that lasted over months, or even years, and it generally includes a lack of communication. However, if you've already lost your ex, then now is not the time to scramble to start communicating again. Start with this plan of action:

Accept the break-up. This doesn't mean that the answer to "How do I get my ex back?" is no. It just means that you need to spend some time apart from your ex for now, and if you have been harassing him or her in a desperate attempt to get back together, you need to stop that now. You have a much greater chance of winning him or her back when you back off a little bit than you do by pleading, promising, begging, threatening, etc.

Try to avoid all contact. If this is not possible due to certain circumstances (like you have children that will bring you into contact, or you work together, etc.), then just minimize the contact as much as possible and keep it unemotional. Be cordial and civil but do not go beyond that. In this stage, you want to start focusing on yourself. Take this time off to better yourself. Make sure that you are eating healthy meals, exercising, and taking care of yourself. Whether you feel like it or not, start going out with friends, or join some kind of activity or volunteer group that interests you. Spend more quality time with your kids. And, if possible, scarey as it may be, spend some time alone. This all may be forced in the beginning. But if you stick with it, you will find that you start to feel better about yourself, your confidence will rise, and you will also look more attractive to others. You'll start to hear people complimenting you and seeking you out.

At this point you should re-evaluate your situation again with your ex - many people who have gotten to this point realize that they do not even want to get back together with that person again. But if you still feel that this is your goal, now is the time to start the contact again. Call him or her and make a very non-commital date such as going out for coffee. If you've managed to stay separated from your ex all this time, it's likely that your ex will be curious as to what you are up to. Your first "date" should be short and "light". Don't bring up past arguments. Make sure that you make an excuse to be the first to leave, claiming that you have an appointment, and saying how nice it was to see your ex again. This is the first step in the How do I get my ex back strategy.

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How to Win Your Ex Back with Ease

Have you been wondering how to win your ex back? You are not alone. All over the world, people have wondered and are wondering the same exact thing. The good news is that it has been done, and it has been done frequently. While it may seem impossible to you now, winning your ex back is not a huge impossible feat. Rather, it is just a process that may take longer than you want it to. But it is a process that works if you follow it through correctly.

The first step of how to win your ex back might be the hardest. This step involves accepting the split, or even the fact that your ex has someone else, and just letting it be. No more pleading, begging, apologizing, or threatening by phone, text or email. The first step is to walk away and steer as clear from your ex as possible.

The next step is to stop focusing on your ex, and trying to win them back, and instead focus on yourself. If you've been pleading with your ex for a long time, and been taking her refusals for just as long, your confidence has also probably taken a nose dive. You first need to get your confidence and your self-esteem back. There are many things you can do to start feeling better about yourself. First of all, make sure you are eating the right foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Do not drink too much to drown your sorrows, or get into some other kind of drug or addictive habit. You also want to force yourself to start going out with friends, or just spending some time alone.

If you like your job, throw yourself into your work. If you need a break from work, take a vacation if possible. All of these things may take some time getting used to, but you will soon find that they are not forced anymore, but part of your new way of life. You will start looking better, attracting more interest and compliments, and feeling better about yourself. And this will continue to grow. Once you go through several weeks or months of this "me-time", you can take another more objective look at your goals in terms of a relationship. Do you still want your ex in your life? If so, move on to the next step.

The last step is really what you've been gearing towards all along. This is where you contact your ex and ask if he or she will meet you. The meeting should be something very easy, like getting together for coffee. The real purpose for this meeting is to let your ex see the new and improved you, not to try and convince her to come back to you. So, keep the conversation light, be complimentary to him or her without going overboard, and then look at your watch and say you need to go to another appointment. Say how great it was to see your ex, and be off. These are the first steps in how to win your ex back.

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