5 Keys to Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Sadly, there are times when what appeared to be a happy union must come to a conclusion. But ending a relationship gracefully can be a difficult undertaking. There are a lot of ways that a break up can go wrong, but that doesn't have to be the case. Here are some tips to help you part ways in a civil manner.

Before you even think about mentioning your desire to call it quits, you have to be 100% sure it's what you want to do, and know why you want to do it. This is important, because once you mention the subject of splitting up; there is no logical way for it to be unmentioned.

Key #1: Tell the truth - You may feel that you don't your partner anything, but as a fellow human being, they deserve the truth. If you are ending the relationship because you have done something wrong, now is the time to say so. While telling a few lies may make breaking up seem easier, in the long run it will always come back to haunt you.

Key #2: Be calm, respectful and direct - If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that emotions will be running high as soon as you broach the subject. Keep in mind that the proverbial ball is in your court. This means it is up to you to set the tone. Remain calm, respectful and direct to make things go more smoothly, but...

Key #3: Expect the unexpected - You may picture your significant other getting mad and burning up all of your clothes on the front lawn, or you may envision them sitting motionless, stone-faced and distant. Whatever you imagine, I can guarantee one thing, it will not go the way you think it will. That's why it is so important to know your plan and stick to it.

Key #4: Watch out for manipulation - There is always a chance that your soon-to-be ex will do everything they can to get you to stay. Being manipulated into sticking around will only breed resentment. On the other hand, they may raise an honest point you may not have previously considered. Just be extra careful when trying to determine what's really going on. To be fair, be sure you aren't the one doing the manipulating.

Key #5: No living in the past - This key is last because it's the most difficult. While you'll want to explain why you want to break up, don't bring up past faults that will lead to an argument. You both already know what you don't like about each other, there’s no need to bring it up now. If you absolutely must bring it up to explain why you're leaving, do your best to stick to the facts of the behaviour and not to personal attacks.

Ending a relationship gracefully is never an easy task. Adding insult to injury is never classy. It takes planning and careful implementation to end it gracefully, but it's the best way to handle things - for all parties involved.

The Secret To Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. And if they did, they were lying. A quick look at the shelves of any bookstore or library will tell you that people are looking for help in the relationship department. Seeking help in the form of a guide or book is a good idea, and a crucial step for many couples. However, evaluating your relationship with your partner before getting one is a good idea, too.

Why take the time to do this when a book has all the answers? Well, most books do not include a section on evaluation, and how can you know which steps to follow or how to follow them if you don't know where your relationship is at the moment? The answer is, you can't.

Because we as human beings are social creatures, it's only natural that we want to get along with those we are close to, and to remain with them whenever possible. Developing a sense of where you stand as a couple fits right in with our most basic desires.

When it comes to evaluating your relationship with your partner you can do it two different ways. The first way is to do it on your own, without any input from your significant other. The second way is to do it together as a couple. Both methods have their own pros and cons. Neither one is better than the other, because what counts is the ultimate goal of knowing what's going on.

Whichever method you choose, it doesn't have to be complicated. Simple yes or no questions are okay, but they don't really reveal all that much. The secret is to ask good, open-ended questions that will lead to more in-depth answers. Here are a few examples.

What do you want from the relationship?

What do you offer in the relationship?

What are your expectations of your partner?

What can you do to improve the relationship?

Where do you see the relationship going?

You'll notice that you can ask the above questions, and questions like them, whether doing the evaluation on your own, or with your partner.

The questions and answers are only the first part of the process. They are designed to get you thinking and talking. However, it is absolutely critical that you answer them honestly. This is easier said then done, especially when you have a certain outcome in mind. In other words, your answers when evaluating your relationship with your partner will be much different if you are assuming a break up is imminent than if you assume you'll be staying together.

It's important to keep an open mind while going through this process. By doing so, you will get to the heart of the matter and make a better decision based on what you discover. The answer at which you arrive may not be what you expect, and it's also not the final word. But it will help you to see things as they really are, and what steps you can take to have the best outcome possible.

Having A Very Hard Time Coping After Break-Up

Good relationships can be divided into the before commitment and after commitment stages. While poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages of their own: Before break-up and after break-up. There is a bit of dark humour there, because you will often think you are in the one of the two good relationship stages until its too late.

Perhaps that's why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are just a few of the emotions that make having a very hard time coping after break-up a not too uncommon experience. After all, things are going along just fine, because you are either committed to each other already, or about to be... at least that's what you're thinking. Then, wham! You find out you are now going through the after break-up. Here are a few ways to help you get through this difficult time more easily.

One of the best things you can do is find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won't do anything to help. The key is to find positive ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between staying active and denial.

Having a very hard time coping after break-up usually results in crawling into a little hole and wallowing in self-pity. That may be a bit blunt for some, but I hope it shakes them up! You have to be with people. There's no other way around it.

Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn't talk to your ex. Having someone to listen to you will go a long way towards helping you deal with the bad feelings you're experiencing. Even though friends do their best, sometimes they just aren't able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level by getting help from a mental health professional or find a therapist - some people don't go out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule, but they are there to help, and are required to keep everything confidential.

Forgiveness can be hard to give, but it is wonderfully liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them. Even tougher to do, though, is forgiving yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn't the point. Getting rid of the guilt is.

You may want to avoid everything but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a break up. That is, ultimately, the only way to ever get over it completely. You can't ignore it forever. Bad stuff happens to good people. You have to move on.

Feeling bad after a break-up is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn't healthy. Use the tips above to start getting to a more positive place. Once you do, you will be able to enjoy life much more than you do now.