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Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Does Marriage Restoration Work

Are you wondering if marriage restoration works?  Yes it does if you know exactly what to do and when.  Love is like a plant - you need to nurture your love or it will die. You need to feed it on a regular basis and let it build in strength.  A well nourished relationship is very hard to destroy.

If you need some ideas on how marriage restoration works have a read of Magic of Making Up.  The strategies in there will help most people to improve their relationships and not just those of us facing a marriage breakdown. Communication between couples can be fraught with problems.  Our egos often get in the way and it not our egos, our pride.  How often have you known that you should apologize for your behaviour but decided that you couldn't do it as you didn't want to lose face.  Some men let their egos go to their head.  They lose a fantastic relationship with the woman of their dreams because some other girl looks attractive and shows interest. He can't let his ego down by saying no, is unfaithful, gets caught and then wonders why he may need marriage restoration. 

When you are part of a couple, life is not always easy. You have to compromise and this can mean that you spend your Saturday on the sidelines at a game when you would rather be in the Mall shopping. Or it could mean you take your wife and her parents out to dinner when you would rather be with your mates in a bar somewhere.   But the benefits of being happily married far outweigh any disadvantages.  Being able to come home to your loving partner at the end of a hard day. Knowing that there is always someone who believes in you and what you are trying to achieve.  Knowing you are not on your own and don't have to spend your life in a series of flings because you are lonely.

If you have children, you owe them the chance of growing up in a happy home with both their parents. They didn't ask to come into your life, you invited them.  All kids want Mom and Dad to stay together. Sometimes it is best for parents to split up but only if they have tried everything to make their relationship work first. They can't just bail at the first sign of trouble.   All couples go through phases of being less than happy with each other, but for the majority these phases will pass especially if you both make an effort to resolve the underlying issues.

Yes being happily married takes hard work and commitment but the benefits are fantastic. So if you feel marriage restoration would work for you today, get a copy of the Magic of Making Up, follow the instructions and get your relationship back on the right track now.  Don't wait until it is too late.

Monday, 31 January 2011

Have You Been Looking Into Marriage Encounters

Marriage encounters is a course run by the Catholic Church which began in the 1960's. It is advertised as a unique opportunity for couples to spend time together exploring their relationship.  It is not specifically aimed at those having marriage problems as the speakers do not offer advice or counselling.  Other religious groups will offer a similar program for their members.  If you are interested but are not a Catholic speak to your religious adviser about what they offer.   

It is more about building up togetherness in the relationship and helping a couple to survive the period in every marriage that happens when the initial love and lust has started to wear off.  Is it worth going on one of these weekends?  Well that really depends on your view point.  Some people find it a wonderful experience while others are not all that impressed.  I would suggest that you don't pressure your partner into going and only attend one of these events if both of you are keen.  Don't be afraid that it will be a religious event as most couples don't come away with that impression. It is all about finding the right way and time to speak to your partner.  Simply taking time out of your life to concentrate on your relationship is always a good thing.  Going away on a weekend where it is just the two of you makes it rather difficult not to spend some time discussing your issues and feelings.  Even the best relationships need some attention and love as otherwise they will not last.

If you are having marriage difficulties and want to get some help, there are specific places to look.  You can try marriage counselling offered by your Church, religious group or a local charity in your area. You can also try reading some good self help materials such as the Magic of Making Up. If both partners read this book, you are almost guaranteed to find some improvement in your relationship as it will teach you how to speak to one another in a constructive way. 

There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. For example if you never spend time together on your own, you need to address this. If you find that you cannot think of things to talk about other than your kids or your money problems, this may also be a sign that there are issues that need addressing. If you fail to make a connection in bed or outside it, you probably should get some help to avoid any minor problems becoming bigger.

Every relationship is different - what some couples find romantic others find overwhelming but if you have been together for any length of time, your instincts will tell you if there is a problem.  Don't ignore it.  Perhaps the marriage encounters weekend may be a good idea if only to force you into each others company for a couple of days.

Marriage Requirements - Do You Make the Grade

It is amazing how many people will search for marriage requirements to see if they can legally get married or perhaps to see if they can have a Church wedding.   Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger. 

Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such.  More people give longer thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles.  The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn't help.

The sad fact is though that most people do not walk away from a broken marriage without incurring pain and scarring.  It is difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die.  And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it.  They don't regret getting married, they regret getting divorced! 

So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation?  The first step is to be realistic in your expectations.  While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable.  You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You need to show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own.  Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe.  And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don't want to be left with a stranger for company.

You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other.  Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines Day or your wedding anniversary.  In the Magic of Making Up you will get more ideas on how to prevent your marriage or relationship from joining the depressing list of the divorce statistics.  So stop worrying about marriage requirements and concentrate instead of being sure that you two are made to last the distance.