Have You Heard Someone Say I Lost the love of my life?

How often have you heard someone say I lost the love of my life?  How did you feel when they said that?  Perhaps you are saying it yourself?   It is relatively easy to lose love.  Why?  Men and women are very different creatures and often they have problems communicating with each other.  Add to that the unrealistic expectations that Hollywood or TV productions nurture via their films and you can see why couples often split as soon as the going gets a little tough.

But the fact is that all relationships even the ones others consider to be successful will go through difficult patches. Ask any couple who have lasted the distance and they will tell you that it isn't all moonlight and roses. You can be living with someone, married to them even and have kids together yet feel that you hate them with a passion you never knew you had.  You don't really, well most people don't!  Life has just got in the way and over time you two have forgotten that you need to nurture your love much as a plant needs watering to survive.

It is too easy to take someone else for granted and assume that they are happy with the way things are between you.  It is also easier to leave things be than to try and deal with any painful issues that may have developed between you. Sometimes there is an embarrassment factor as well. For example it is not uncommon for couples to start to experience sexual difficulties when they have been together for a while.  This could be something simple like one partner has a higher sex drive than the other or it could be a medical reason such as the menopause causing problems or the man having difficulties maintaining an erection.  Instead of dealing with these issues together, some couples let them come between then until such a time as the communication gap is so wide you end up thinking… I lost the love of my life.

Other couples let their job, their kids or their friends take priority over their partners and this can cause anger and resentment. You should never let anyone not even your children come before your partner, at least not on a consistent basis.  Kids grow up and leave home, friends come and go but your partner is the one person you want to remain by your side forever. The key is to remind them of this fact on a regular basis.

The good news is that most relationship issues can be sorted out with a little bit of guidance. You can seek marriage counselling or you could read a great self help book like the Magic of Making up. Perhaps you could do both.  If you have already split up by the time you read this, don't despair. It doesn't mean you have to give up on your ex partner forever. You can get them back if you know the right way to achieve it.   So stop thinking I lost the love of my life and start thinking about all the ways and means at your disposal to rekindle love and passion.

I Miss My Ex – How To Get Back Together Again

How often do you hear people saying I miss my ex?  Probably a lot and the sad thing is that most relationships that finish shouldn't.  They end because of poor communication which can be easily improved if only you know how.  Very few couples break up because of infidelity. In fact, being able to talk properly to each other would often make the reasons behind the infidelity disappear.

so why do we find it so difficult to communicate?  There are a number of reasons but the main one is that our brains are wired differently. Our brains process information in various ways and generally speaking in women there are certain parts of the brain namely the language centre that is more developed than in a mans.  That doesn't mean that women are superior to men only that they are different.  A woman tends to be more emotional whereas a man is more logical.  So when discussing a problem, it can seem as if they are speaking different languages.

Other things get in the way as well such as pride and fear. When you have too much pride, you don't want to be seen as the weaker partner.  Funnily enough the very things that you think are weak such as the ability to admit when you are wrong or that you miss your partner are actually a sign of strength of character.  It is knowing what we want out of life and grabbing it with both hands that makes us happy not whether we were the ones to apologize last in an argument.

Fear is another big factor in the breakdown of partnerships.  Most of us have an underlying fear of rejection. This may be caused by past experiences or a lack of self esteem or both.  So instead of telling our partner that we love them and want to stay with them forever, we walk away for fear they don't feel the same way. The sad truth is that they probably do love you too but are also afraid of laying their emotions on the line for fear that they will get trampled. 

It is very sad to see couples that are great together break up. It is especially so when they have been together a long time so have invested lots of emotional hours into the relationship.  Often the break up is caused by life factors such as stress at work or worries over kids or finances.  Other times one partner may feel jealous of the relationship between their partner and one of their own kids.  Children can play a huge part in splitting up their parents not by choice but because children aged 5 -7 often become jealous of their parents. For example a boy may feel that his Dad is more important to his mum that he is so he will stir up trouble between them.  Or a girl may feel jealous of her Dad's affection for her mum. This is completely natural and a phase in childhood that most kids grow out of.  But while it is happening, it can prove very stressful to all concerned.

So the next time you hear someone say I miss my ex, tell them to contact their old partner and see if they can get together for a chat and just maybe they will get back together again.

How to Stop a Divorce in Five Easy Steps

With the divorce rate rising on what appears to be a daily basis, it is no surprise that people are wondering how to stop a divorce. The good news is that it can be done; it is relatively easy when you put these five steps into action.

1) Find time for each other:

Your relationship will not survive unless you find time for each other and do this regularly. This doesn't mean throwing the odd comment at one another over the dinner table when the kids are fighting but actually making an effort to communicate. Put the kids to bed, switch the TV or computer off and sit down and have a chat.  Talk about your day, your feelings and any issues that are worrying you.  By maintaining open lines of communication you are less likely to have disagreements and misunderstandings over trivial things. Yes you will still fight but that is completely natural and can be a good thing if it leads to a nice making up session.

2) Always show respect for one another: 

No matter how long you have been together you should always show respect for your partner.  Give them time for themselves and don't expect to occupy their every waking moment. There will be times when your partner is going through a difficult time either because of work or personal problems that have nothing to do with your relationship.  Be there for them at this time. This doesn't mean you have to solve the problem as that will not always be possible but if they know they have your support, it will help a lot.

3) Never put one another down

You should never put your partner down not even in private. When someone loves another person, they tend to open up to them and share intimate details that they wouldn’t share with anyone else. If that partner then uses this knowledge to put them down, the hurt can be enormous.  So be careful and try and think before you open your mouth. If you do insult them, be quick to apologize and reassure them you didn't mean it.

4) Show appreciation

We are all guilty of taking things for granted including our health, our jobs and probably our partners. You need to make a conscious effort to show your partner appreciation for their efforts.  You know your partner and this means understanding how they like to be shown appreciation. For some people telling them verbally works while for others, they need gestures rather than just words.  Taking time to complement your other half will increase your mutual appreciation and the bond between you making divorce less likely.

5) Show forgiveness

We all mess up occasionally and rather than holding onto this incident, why not practice forgiveness. You never know when you will mess up and you will want your partner to return the favour.  Nobody is perfect and you will have a much happier life if you don't keep expecting them to be.

Follow these five tips and you should never need to know how to stop a divorce!