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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

It can be incredibly difficult to tell your sweetheart that you are sorry. For some, it can be difficult because of the embarrassment that they feel from their wrong-doings. For others, it can be difficult because they are simply too stubborn to apologize for something. Either way, it is important to say sorry to someone that you care about when you have done something wrong. If you are struggling with an apology, consider these 4 ways to say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The Simple Apology

Sometimes, all you need to do is give your boyfriend a simple apology. This form of apology is best for those small issues that don't really require serious thought. This can be the hardest apology for those who have issues with their ego, as those that are stubborn often hate apologizing. It is also important to note that the simple apology may not work for bigger issues. If the wrong-doing is somewhat serious, a simple apology will come across as insincere.

The Long Talk

If you have done something wrong, you may need to sit down and have a talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel, and why they are upset. Apologize, but talk about this apology. Talk to your significant other about what you did, and the steps that you will take to ensure that it never happens again. A long and serious talk is the most heartfelt way to apologize to your soul mate.

Giving Gifts

Gift giving is often seen as a secondary way to apologize for an action. While you have a normal apology, you back the apology up with gifts. The gifts are intended to make up for the problem. While gift giving will not solve your problems, it can help to make your sweet thing feel better. They may be more willing to accept your apology if you are making the extra effort to make them happy.

Going Out

Another way to support your apology is to treat your honey to a night out. Your lover may feel better about the situation if they can enjoy a night with you. While the apology is important, it is also important to remember why you are together. If you enjoy a night together, your apology may be accepted more easily.

You need to think about the action that you are apologizing for before you actually make the apology. There may be some instances that will benefit from a simple apology. There are other issues that may require a more intense apology.

Take the time to fully understand the reason for the apology and the apology method that will be appropriate. While it may seem like a lot of work, you want to make sure that you say sorry to your boyfriend in a way that will mend your relationship.

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Can Online Counselling Save a Marriage in Crisis?


Every marriage goes through ups and downs.  A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters.  Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others begin to disintegrate.  For any marriage in crisis, however, online marital counselling can help.

Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique.  Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique.  However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages, signs which point toward trouble brewing in the marriage.  The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counselling.  And, the sooner the couple starts counselling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.

Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:

• They bicker, nag, and nitpick a great deal.

• They don’t fight fairly.

• They tend to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.

• They don’t talk about problems together.  One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.

• They no longer agree on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.

• They have a low level of intimacy or none.

• They don’t talk much.  The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.

Online marriage counselling can help couples who are having any of the above issues.  Counselling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons.  There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counselling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.

Professional marriage counsellors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties.  Counsellors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.

Couples who take part in online marriage counselling learn the following:

• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the marriage without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple and how to meet those needs

Online marriage counselling works best if couples start as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage.  A marriage in crisis can be helped with online marital counselling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counselling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great. Good luck!

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship?

Anytime there are cheaters involved in relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of “Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?” there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.