Marriage doesn't seem to carry as much weight as it did many years ago but there are still many people and religions that view marriage as a sacred institution. Marriage is the foundation of a family and without a solid foundation a family can soon fall apart.
The world has changed over the years and as such there seems to be so much more pressure financially which can take its toll on a marriage. There also seems to be more difficulties with children behaviour problems these days, whether this is due to the changing roles of men and women or due to the increasing number of additives and preservatives in the foods that they eat, regardless of the cause, the behaviour problems can put an incredible strain on the relationship between the parents.
These are just a couple of reasons that a marriage can begin to fail, there are many more. If you feel that your marriage could be on the rocks what can you do to help get it back on track?
Church is one institution that values marriage very highly and as such can be a great place to get help if your marriage is in trouble. You can visit a psychologist or a family therapist for marriage counselling and these can help, but they tend to take a more individualistic approach to marriage counselling. A church pastor will take a holistic approach to making a marriage work and this approach can have a much better chance of saving a marriage.
Is a pastoral counsellor really any better than a secular therapist?
The problem with a secular therapist is that they have been taught to treat individual psychopathologies. Even counsellors that specialize in marriage and family counselling don't often have many classes that deal specifically with couple's therapy. The 'individual' approach is not the approach needed to save a marriage that is a union of two people.
On the other hand, a pastoral counsellor is taught to counsel couples as couples to help bring them closer together and repair any problems that have arisen in their marriage. The church believes that marriage is forever and when a couple has taken those marriage vows, a pastoral counsellor will be dedicated to help save that marriage if the couple seeks their help.
There are some pastors that have formal education in counselling as many churches now offer pastoral counselling degrees. There are also many ministers who do not have a formal degree but still have taken seminars and classes on the subject.
If you are not currently a member of any church then it can be a little more difficult finding a pastoral counsellor to help save your marriage. If you’re marriage is struggling then you won’t want to wait six months to establish a membership in a church before you can approach a pastor for counselling.
If you find yourself in this situation and do not have a membership at any church, you can perhaps call some of the churches in your area and enquire about couple retreats where they may hold weekend seminars targeted to saving marriages. If you attend a seminar like this you can then build up a relationship with the pastor and can then possibly follow up with that pastor for some marriage counselling.
Often the biggest problem with many relationships is a lack of communication and these couple’s retreats can help you work on your communication skills within your marriage. If you can improve your communication then you might find that many areas of your relationship will also improve.
Marriage isn’t easy and is something that often needs to be worked at. If your marriage is having difficulties and you feel like it is falling apart, then you need to take a long look at your relationship and find the good in it and find the reasons why it is worth saving. If you need some help then visit a pastoral counsellor for some free marriage counselling as he may be able to help you get your marriage back on track.
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