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Saturday 23 July 2011

Dealing With a Break Up of a Long Term Relationship

If you are looking for a cure to dealing with a break up, keep in mind that there is no magic pill to cure what you are feeling and it may take a while to get over your relationship. You need to take one day at a time, maybe even one hour at a time in the opening stages.
Do not let anyone talk you out of feeling what you need to feel. You may get to the point where you feel you are better off without your ex, but right now the hurt and anger is almost overwhelming.
When dealing with a break up, be careful that you do not let your emotions take over and end up doing something dim. Stay close to home and if you do not think you can be alone with yourself, invite a good friend over and cry on their shoulder. If you need to hit something make it something soft like a pillow. Go ahead; beat the crap out of that pillow. You will probably feel better when you are done.
After a few weeks, when the pain has subsided somewhat and you feel like you can breathe again, get out of the house and go do something fun. Remind yourself that you have survived the worst of the pain and realize that you are still alive and life does go on.
Try to resist going to the places you went to with your ex, revisiting all your old haunts is no cure for dealing with a break up. They probably still go to those places and it is still way too soon to run into them. You need more time.
Do things to make yourself feel good. Go shopping and treat yourself to a new outfit, or make an appointment with your stylist and get a new hairstyle. Concentrate on you for a change and the pain will become less and less every day.
When dealing with a break up it is best that you do not try to contact your ex in any way right after the break up. You do not need to give them the pleasure of knowing you are not ok. Make them think you are getting over them and on with your life. Some part of them probably still cares about you and maybe even feels guilty for the hurt they caused. If they are made to think you are doing well without them they may get a little jealous and who knows... they may just come running back to you.
A great way to get your feelings out and deal with them in a strong way is to write them down. Start keeping a journal and faithfully write in it every day. You can safely express what you are feeling in your journal. You can even tell off your ex with no repercussions at all. Let your fingers do the yelling. It doesn't matter how you keep your journal, in a notebook or on your computer. Just start writing and before you know it you will have found that YOU are the cure for dealing with a break up.
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