What to do After a Relationship Has Ended

If you and your ex have parted ways and you're not sure what to do now after relationship is over, I've got a few ideas.  Losing a loved one can really send your world into a tailspin. It can be especially bad if there was infidelity or you were blindsided and didn't see it coming. No one and nothing can completely take away the hurt; only time can do that, but there are many things that you can do, that will help you centre your time and attention onto more constructive things rather than just focusing on your hurt. Keeping your focus forward instead of backward can at least make it seem like you are healing more quickly. 

The things that you completely and definitely should not do after a breakup are:

1. Go out and drink (or do drugs) and stay in a trance for days or weeks on end. This won't help anyone.

2. Go out and hook up with anyone you can find. Again, this may help ease the pain but it will only make you feel worse once you’re on your own again.

3. Try to beg your ex to take you back.  If it's over, it's over. Nothing you can do and if your ex isn't interested in reconciliation, there's nothing you should do.  Hold your head up and move on.

Now that you know what not to do, here are some things that you should do. Again, these can help ease the pain but in a constructive way that won't leave you with a lot of regrets:

1.  Spend time with supportive, upbeat people.  No one is suggesting that you start dating, you shouldn't, but that doesn't mean you can't go out for lunch, coffee or to the movies with your friends so you don't sit at home and wallow.  Having loving supportive people around will help, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.  Keep your alone time to a minimum in the start.

2. When you are alone, and thinking about the past, make sure to use this as a constructive time. Don't just think about the 'what ifs' instead try to figure out what changes you can make to make yourself a better person. This will pay dividends in all aspects of your life, not just your romantic life (which believe it or not, isn't over, it's just on a little break).

3. Work on you. If you've been meaning to change your hairstyle, go on a trip, take a class, or get in shape, what are you waiting for? This is a great time to take on some positive new challenges in your life. It will force you to think about the future and not dwell on the past.

4. Always try (no matter how hard it can be sometimes) to keep yourself focused on the positive.  Try to look at your future as a wide open canvas that you can create anything you want.  If you can train yourself to think like this the breakup won't seem as painful and you may even find yourself excited about the potential the future holds.

Hey, let's face it, break ups suck. There's no way around it. But we will all go through it at one time or another so anything that you can use to help get over it more quickly and move on with your life is a blessing.  Just use these tips on the do's and don'ts of what to do after relationship has ended and you'll be on the right track.

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