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Tuesday 4 October 2011

Marriage Counseling Strategies Do Work

It's safe to assume that everybody would agree that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. To be fair, there are plenty of couples that get along really, really well, but perfection simply isn't attainable. On the other hand, there are marriages that are so far from perfect that they are on the verge of collapse. If that hits a bit too close to home, then you may be in need of some marriage counseling.
While there are no perfect marriages, it's a good idea to keep striving for perfection; to keep trying to improve your marriage. This is important because it puts the focus on the marriage. Couples need to understand that being happy together doesn't just happen automatically. Good marriages take work. So, if you want to rescue a marriage that's not doing well, then you need to be willing to do whatever it takes to make it succeed.
Let's be blunt. It won't be easy. It's hard enough keeping a good marriage running smoothly, and if yours is in trouble, it's going to be that much harder. But, as they say, all good things are worth fighting for. Get ready. Roll up your sleeves. Let's get started!
The first thing you need to do is take a step back and try to look at things as though you were an outside observer. How would you describe what's going on? How are you at fault? What could you do better? What things are going well enough to keep you together for now? The goal of questions like these is to help you see things as they really are.
Once you have an idea of what's really going on, you need to talk to your spouse. This can be very difficult. The key here is to remain calm, honest, rational and respectful. Do not let things get out of hand. You want to avoid arguing at all costs. All you are really doing is presenting the facts as you understand them. You may be surprised to find out that your spouse has been feeling the same way.
Now that you have talked to each other, it's time to start making a plan for marriage counseling. The plan you make will depend on your specific situation. Every person is different and every couple is different. While there isn't one plan that will work for everybody, there are some good resources available that will be able to help you. There are websites, books, guides, therapy and other things out there. However, none of them will do a thing unless you actually take action on what you learn.
You need to commit to whatever plan you agree to. It takes time and it takes work, but as your marriage starts improving, it will seem easier. It's so much nicer once you start seeing results. Results are a great motivator. Once you get a taste of how well your marriage counseling is working, you will want to improve even more.
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