Ending a Relationship Gracefully

One of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with is the breakup of your relationship; it can be even harder if it's you that has to do the breaking up.  Most people think it's more difficult to be the one who is dumped, but in reality finding the best way of ending a relationship gracefully, is very difficult.   

If you've reached the point in your relationship where it's just not working anymore, and you're getting fed up with dealing with the daily stresses, there are some things you can do that will make it a little easier on everyone involved when you break up with your partner.

The first thing you need to do is stop blaming yourself or each other. More than likely there is enough blame to go around, but it's important to find a way to let go of your anger, disappointment and frustration, so that you can move on.  It's common for people to want to blame their ex since this can make it easier for them to leave, but in the long run this strategy can backfire.  If you spend too much time playing the blame game it can be virtually impossible for you to move on and get over your anger and hurt... and that will only hold you back longer. 

If you let go of the need to 'be right' and 'get your fair share in the settlement' you'll be able to move on more quickly.  Couples can easily lose sight of what's really important... to end the relationship with as little additional pain as possible. Instead they fight over who is going to get the silverware from aunt Sally.

If you want to make things easier on both of you, make sure you don't let your emotions get the better of you.  This highly emotional time will make it very easy for you to want to lash out and let your ex have it by calling them every name in the book, but if you do, all you'll end up with is guilt. It will just make you feel bad, and look bad. Better to take the high road than to dive into the gutter. Take the high road and you'll be able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and move on more quickly which is what you're really going to want to do.

It's easy to get caught up in feelings of failure, but again, it's not what you want to hang on to.  Instead realize that people change and that you are both somewhat responsible for the breakup of the relationship and be willing to move on.  The more balanced you can stay at this point, the less baggage you will have to carry into your next relationship... and the rest of your life.

Ending a relationship gracefully is possible, and though there are times when you feel like getting as mean and nasty as possible, in the long run it will only make it easier for you to move on and have a great life, and great relationships.

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