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Sunday 2 January 2011

Can Online Counselling Save a Marriage in Crisis?


Every marriage goes through ups and downs.  A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters.  Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others begin to disintegrate.  For any marriage in crisis, however, online marital counselling can help.

Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique.  Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique.  However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages, signs which point toward trouble brewing in the marriage.  The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counselling.  And, the sooner the couple starts counselling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.

Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:

• They bicker, nag, and nitpick a great deal.

• They don’t fight fairly.

• They tend to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.

• They don’t talk about problems together.  One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.

• They no longer agree on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.

• They have a low level of intimacy or none.

• They don’t talk much.  The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.

Online marriage counselling can help couples who are having any of the above issues.  Counselling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons.  There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counselling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.

Professional marriage counsellors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties.  Counsellors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.

Couples who take part in online marriage counselling learn the following:

• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the marriage without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple and how to meet those needs

Online marriage counselling works best if couples start as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage.  A marriage in crisis can be helped with online marital counselling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counselling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great. Good luck!

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