Don’t Despair! Simple Things Can Save Marriage

Contrary to popular belief, simple steps can save marriage. If you're in what you consider to be a bad state in your own marriage, often you feel that there is no way to make things well again. If you and your partner have been having trouble for a long time, you may feel miserable, irritated, and afraid. You may even feel that you have tried everything to put the marriage back on track.

But many times it is just the day to day slight changes that can bring your marriage back to a state that you are at ease with, just as it is often the day to day changes that gradually took their toll on the marriage to make it what it is now. When you first start out in a loving relationship, everything seems easy. You're in love, you spend a lot of time together and you make plans and have dreams. Why is the relationship so easy then? Not only because you are in love. You can still be in love and have a challenging relationship, as you may be dealing with now. One reason that it is easier is because you are more willing to compromise. Indeed, you don't even really see anything as a compromise.

If your partner likes you to do certain things, or act a certain way, you do it without even thinking about it. And you are happy to do it because it makes him or her happy. As time goes on, though, you may start to begrudge those things that your partner is asking you to do. Or maybe it's not that you begrudge them as much as you resent the fact that you will do things for him or her (willingly or unwillingly, but you will do them), but he or she does not return the favour.

If this type of situation is affecting you and you haven't spoken about it, now is the time. Communication can save marriage, even if it is about apparently little things like this. Talk about what you would each like from each other. It doesn't have to be big. It can be as simple as giving you a call at work, or saying hello when you come in the house, instead of just turning on the TV. Start with these little things. And do them. If you think that they are little and daft, then it should be easy for you to stick to them. As time goes on, add more.

Another important point to note is that you are giving the other person what he or she would like… not what you would like. Even if you don't understand why something is crucial to him or her, you need to realize that it is essential to him or her, and take it seriously. Simple things like this can save marriage.

For more information visit The Magic of Making Up!